Cupid, God's Superhero?

Verse of the Week:

Ephesians 5:2 ...Live a life of love just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Cupid, God's Superhero?

If you could have any super powers, what would you pick?  I was once asked this random question, during a game when Brian and I were trying to get to know other couples.  I was hearing all sorts of answers: to be invisible, to be able to fly, to move around at the speed of light. When I got to share my answer, it sounded a little unorthodox, but that is just how my brain works; I come up with the weirdest things.  I wanted to be like Cupid and zap love into people's lives with my bow and arrow.  I would flutter around in my cute wings and whenever I saw any type of hate in people then ZING...POP!  My arrow would hit them and they would become all lovey, dovey, sweet, and cuddly with hearts popping out above them and little stars shining in their eyes.  Lets face it, I am a romantic at heart...I love hearing love stories about people and how they fall in love.  I love reading romance novels and seeing a couple come together against all odds because of their deep love, or a knight in shining armor coming to rescue his princess out of love.  My favorite movies are Pride and Prejudice, Anne of Green Gables/Avonlea, and Queen Victoria.  I sigh in contentment as I see the couple move in together for that sweet kiss or hear the man confess his undying love.  Yep...I am a hopeless...  I love LOVE! :)

Here is the problem....people in the world perceive love no more than as a deep affection towards someone, as a feeling, but love is so much more than just a feeling of attraction towards someone. Although it is nice to feel attracted to my incredibly cute husband, it would have never have been enough to keep our marriage together. Eventually he will have wrinkles around his face, bags under is eyes, white hair poking out of his head (that is if he doesn't go bald first!), a lump will form on his belly making me wonder if he is pregnant, and his rock solid muscles will be replaced with jello-like looking flab hanging off of his bones.  Poor guy...He sounds like a nightmare!  Nope, attraction is not a good foundation for marriage.  

Brian in 50 years.....AHHHH!!!!

You see, love is an incredibly complex word with way deeper meanings than a person realizes. One of my favorite romance authors, Micheal Phillips described love as this:

True love is deeper than mere emotions. True love never fades, it matures. All through the New Testament, love as Jesus describes it has to do with actions, attitudes, behavior, and commitment, not any particular feeling of giddiness.

 Lets turn back to cupid for a minute.  Suppose Cupid shot arrows that hit people and filled them with CHRIST'S LOVE.  What would that kind of love look like?

Describing Christ's love is incredibly hard to describe.  It is extremely complex....but the more I thought about it the more I saw one thing consistent whenever I looked into how Jesus loves.  Jesus's love is always selfless.  There is no room for self when loving with Christ's love.  Christ's love is ALWAYS in the best interest of others.  I Corinthians 10:24 says, Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.  Look at how Jesus loved and noticed that there is no selfishness involved.

• He came into this world lower than angels and made himself a man to save us.
• He healed the sick.
• He loved the sinners no matter what they had done.
• He created this beautiful world for us to enjoy.
• He died on the cross for our sins.
• He washed his disciples feet as an act of service.
• He asked God to forgive the ones who killed him.
• He made sure his mother was taken care of while dying on the cross.
• He taught us about love and life.
• He served others.
• He prayed for me and everyone in the garden before he was crucified.
• He promised to send his spirit to take care of me/others.
• He heals hearts.
• He promises to be with us always.
• He turned the other cheek.
• He never sought revenge.
• He has prepared a place for me in heaven.
• He wanted to bring His Father glory.
• He has taught us how to live life abundantly.
• He never rejects those who come to him.

WOW!!! His love is so selfless!  I made a list of things that I thought described Christ-like love, and here is what I came up with.

Think about how the world would be different if Cupid shot his Christ-like love arrows at everyone.  You would find the worst of enemies forgiving each other.  You wouldn't find any room for revenge in peoples hearts.  People would not be jealous of others but instead rejoice with them in their good fortunes.  People would be building each other up instead of putting each other down.  There would be no gossip and slander but people seeking to look for good in others.  People would be giving to the poor, open their homes to orphans and widows.  People would not get angry because they didn't get what they wanted.  People would not hold grudges.  People would be patient with others.  People would seek to find ways to be a blessing to others.  People would demonstrate unconditional love and love no matter how vile and horrible a person may be.  People would pray for others.  People would be truthful and have integrity.  People would be open to correction and be humble.  People would put the needs of others before their own.  What a different world it would be!

If everyone truly loved with Christ's love, there would be no more sin in the world! As it says in 1 Peter 4:8, Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Here is the amazing thing.  When we accept Christ into our hearts, His spirit comes to live inside of us.  So technically his love is inside of us too!  When we realize how loving Christ truly is, we can't help but love how He loves.  Jesus loves us fully and unconditionally.  Think of it this way...my husband showers me with love all the time that I can't help but want to love him in return.  It is the same way with our Savior.  He has done so much for us, that we can't help but want to love others with His love.  We begin to see others through His eyes and realize how much He loves even the worse of the worse, we want to love the same way.

Oh Lord, may our hearts cry be to love with the love you have inside of us!  May your voice be louder than the voice of our flesh/minds when it comes to responding to situations with your love.  May we view circumstances through your eyes of love.  In you name we pray,
Amen!

Ephesians 5:2 says, ...Live a life of love just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Yep, Cupid would be God's superhero if He ever needed one, but Jesus is greater than cupid, and His name means, LOVE!

  

Desires of My Heart

Verse of the Week:

Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;

     trust in him and he will do this:  Psalms 37:4-5

Desires of My Heart

Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. (Ps. 37:4)  Boy does that verse sound good! How many times have I desired to own a million bucks, to travel around the world, and to live in a nice 3 bedroom home.  From the sound of that verse, it looks like God is my own personal genie giving me all the desires of my heart.  Right?  Many people are deceived by this verse and expect God to give them what they desire, and when He doesn't, they reject him or grow angry because he isn't that kind loving God that they thought He was.  I remember talking to a girl about prayer one time, and she told me:

"I have tried that before, but it doesn't work.  I never get what I ask for."

Not all people are asking God for a million bucks.  Some people are asking him for very good things such as peace in a home, safety of a loved one, and healing for a friend, but when He fails to give them what they want, they turn away from Him thinking what kind of loving God would allow harm to come to people? 

People tend to forget the first part of the verse, "Take delight in the Lord..."  What does it mean to truly delight in the Lord?  I read in a book one time that to delight in the Lord means that you want what God wants, not what you want .**   You love God so much that you can't help but desire what he desires.  When you delight in God's will, thoughts, and plans, they eventually become your own will, thoughts, and plans.  

Think of it this way.  Lets say Brayden, my son, falls in love with music when he grows up. For those of you that don't know me, I can't carry a tune when it comes to music.  I cannot even play an instrument other than 2-4 notes from piano lessons that lasted a month. To top it all off, I never really cared to listen to music any more because of my hearing loss; it just doesn't sound the same with a cochlear implant.  I much rather be running, hiking, playing basketball, bumping volleyballs, hitting tennis balls, tossing a football around, and throwing disc golfs.  I am an athlete not a musician. I would prefer that Brayden like sports too.  However, I love our son to much to make him do what I prefer, so if Brayden decided that he wanted to play the piano, sing songs, and become a musician; I would take delight in his passions for music and support him at all costs.  I would attend all of his concerts, listen to all of his songs, and provide him with music lessons to support his passion.  I would support him because I loved him and his desires are more important than my own desires for him.  I would not pressure him to play sports simply because it was my desire for him to do so, but I would desire what he wanted to do with his life. I desired what Brayden desired. 

 It is the same way with God.  I love God so much, that I can't help but desire what he wants. There are many things in my life that I have greatly desired.  I have desired to be a children's minister in a church; I have desired to work in the medical field; I have desired that some of my loved ones be healed of cancer; I have desired that I be healed of my hearing loss, but God said no.  However, when I shifted my focus on God and looked at His heart and His great love for me, my desires changed.  I desired what God desired. Sure I had a preference on what I wanted to do in life, but more than anything I wanted what God wanted.  The more I trusted in Him and grew in my relationship with Him, the more I wanted to do his will.  I knew He knew what was best for me.  He directed me into teaching which was not my first choice, but I grew to love it.  He didn't heal my ears, but I have seen how He has used my hearing loss to be an inspiration to others and to bring Him glory.  My loved ones struggled to win over the battle of cancer, and in the midst of it all, their deep faith has been an inspiration to me and others.  They have both passed away, but I know that they are happy serving God in an amazing place.  God's will is perfect; and I delight in the fact that He knows what is best. 

Lets take it a step further and not only reread verse 4 of Psalms 37, but verse 5 as well:

Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;

     trust in him and he will do this:

The key is to trust in God! When you are committed to doing his will; then you begin to trust in him on all aspects of your life.  In the story, On The Trail Of The Truth, God was talking to a young woman, and here is what He said:

When you trust me completely, as your Creator and Father and friend, when you trust me so much that you know I will do the best for you, when you trust me enough to want my will in your life, that becomes the desire of your heart.  The desire of your heart is to do my will.  And when you want my will for your life, and you want that more than anything else, then I will give you that-I will certainly work out my will in your life, And it will be the best possible life you could ever have! You will have the desire of your heart, and everything you could possibly hope for shall be yours-because your life is in my hands, not your own.

I want my life to be in God's hands, not mine.  I delight in you, Jesus!  My desire is what you desire! Mold me and us me and make me into the person that will bring you GLORY.  I love YOU!

 Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;

     trust in him and he will do this:

Are You Wise or Just Plain Stupid?

Verse of the Week:

Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult;
     whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse
Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you;
      rebuke a wise man and he will love you
Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still;
      teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning. Proverbs 9:7-9

Are You Wise or Just Plain Stupid?

I remember driving my Mom and sister home one day a few years back.  We had all just had a great time together shopping and enjoying our mother /daughter/sister time.  However, our outing on the way home slowly went sour.  I don't mind driving people around town, but driving around town with my family was tough growing up.  I was the youngest in my family, and it seemed that everyone in my family felt the need to correct my nasty driving habits.  It was always hard having a back seat driver with me in the car.  Unfortunately for me, I had TWO back seat drivers with me that day.  I don't fully remember all they said to me that day about my driving, but I am sure it was along the lines of this: "Trina, don't follow to close to the car behind you, that is dangerous!"  or "The speed limit is 60 not 62!"  or "Stay in your lane!"  or "Don't turn so fast, slow down."  or "Don't stop so fast, it wears on the breaks!"  or "Trina, make sure you stop completely at the stop sign."  Whatever it was they were saying that day, my temper slowly started to rise up from steaming to a boiling point.  It is enough when I have one of them correcting my driving, but two? Whew! I was surprised that my anger had not gone from boiling point to an out right explosion!  Eventually, I had enough, and I decided to do something about it.  Once again my sister was about to say something, so instead of listening to her, I decided why should I even hear her voice?  By this time, I had gotten my cochlear implant to restore my hearing, but in order to actually hear, I have to wear my processor (looks like a hearing aid).  If I am not wearing it, I am completely deaf.  In this case, I was sick of hearing my mom and sister correct me on every single detail of my driving; soooooooooo in a fit of anger, I grabbed my processor and jerked it off my ear!  Ahhhhhh....silence. Life was good again... that is until I saw their faces.  I knew I was in trouble! When we got home, I faced the wrath of the Garrison women....lets just say that I never jerked my processor off  my ear again.


Here is the point I am trying to make from this, when someone tells me something that I don't want to hear, I have a hard time being open to their correction and rebuke.  I didn't want to hear what my Mom and sister had to say about my driving, so instead I got upset.  I don't like hearing critical statements on things about me from my husband, family, and friends.  However, this past week I read something that once again reopened my eyes....It comes from Proverbs 9:7-9

Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult;
     whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse
Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you;
      rebuke a wise man and he will love you
Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still;
      teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning.

I realized pretty quick that I was the mocker, not the wise man in that verse. People can easily find out how wise they are  by how they respond to people's critical remarks.  Proverbs 12:1 says, Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. I don't know about you, but I sure don't want to be considered STUPID!  

Lets look at the same scenario above, but this time lets see a wise man's response to it.  While I tend to give my family a hard time about being back seat drivers, I happen to be one myself.  All throughout our marriage I have had a nasty habit of telling my sweet husband what to do behind the wheel:  "Turn right here!"  "Please be careful on those left hand turns, that car nearly hit us!"  "The light has turned green!"  "STOP!"  "Can you go faster than 20 miles in hour?  The speed limit is 35!"  "Please make sure one of your hands is on the steering wheel!"  Lets just say I am way worse than my family ever was at keeping my mouth shut when I am in the passenger seat.  However, my husband rarely gets upset.  He just doesn't respond to what I say, but instead, stays calm. As a result, he has kept us from having pointless arguments about his driving.  I wish I had been smart to do that!

Brian and I 50 years from now.

Here is the point, I knew I needed to be open to correction and really listen to what people have to say to me.  While some people's criticism can be beneficial, not all of people's correction is always helpful.  However, how I respond to criticism whether good or bad is very important.  When I respond negatively, it results in hurt relationships and causes a lot of needless friction in mine and other's lives.  I knew I needed to exercise self control and not get angry on every little bit of criticism I received.  However, I was also very aware that "Me, myself, and I" can not always exercise that self control.  In Galatians 2:20 it says,  I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  Christ lives inside of me.  I was aware that Jesus who lives inside of me was the one who gives me the ability to accept criticism without getting angry.  Self control was one of the fruits of the spirit, that was displayed in Christ (Galatians 5:23). So my heart's cry began to be the following: "Jesus may your voice inside of me be louder than the voice of the flesh whenever I hear criticism.  Give me your ability to have self control whenever people are critical towards me.  Help me to receive correction with your gentleness and kindness.  May I respond wisely and with your love.  May your light shine through me. Help me to focus on YOU and your character whenever I respond to criticism. For I know that it is not myself who does these things but Christ in me."

Are you are mocker, a wise man, or just plain stupid?  You can always tell by how to respond to criticism.     

What Forgiveness Does

Verse of the Week:

Ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you

What Forgiveness Does

"I am going to have to let you go.  It just isn't working,"  my boss told me.  After 2 years of torture in my job, I was having mixed feelings.  I was relieved it was over, but I was so hurt.  My boss was a tough person, and working with him had been hard.  No matter how hard I tried to please him and do what he asked, I always fell short on meeting his expectations.  Trying to please my boss was like a person with a broken leg trying to run a mile and break the world record in order to please his coach... pretty much impossible.  I was so hurt that even though I thought I had forgiven him for all that I had went through, I found out later that I had not....

Forgiveness is a tough thing for people to do. Perhaps you have heard yourself or friends say, "I am never forgiving so and so!"  Or maybe you said, "Why should I forgive them?  They don't deserve it!"  Or perhaps you were like me and said, "I forgive so and so," but your actions said otherwise.  We cannot do it alone, we must have Christ's help in order to truly forgive others.  

Christ himself talked about forgiveness.  At the end of Luke 6:37 he says, "Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

What does Forgiveness do?

1. Forgiveness takes away bitterness and anger.

I remember a year after the incident with my boss, I was talking with my friend about him.  I was putting him down and remembering every little thing that he had done to me and how awful he was.  My friend had never seen "sweet" Katrina talk that way.  She looked at me all concerned and then said something that shocked me and gave me so much revelation.  She said, "Trina, just let it go."  It was at that moment I saw my heart.  It was full of bitterness and a verse came into my head,  But the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart (Matthew 15:18).  I realized that I sounded hateful and bitter when I was talking to my friend and that I had a lot of bitterness left in my heart.  I had not forgiven him like I had said, but instead I had replayed over and over in my head the awful things that had happened,  and I allowed bitterness to take root.  I hadn't "let go" as my friend had told me to do, instead I was clinging to all the hurt and anger that I had bottled up inside of me.  I knew I wanted that to change...so I began to pray.  I prayed for myself,  but, more importantly, I prayed for my boss.  It didn't happen overnight, but slowly, chunks of bitterness that surrounded my heart began to give away. Jesus began to replace my bitter heart with His heart of love and forgiveness.  Jesus knew what he was saying when he said,  "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,."  When I prayed, I began to see things through God's eyes that I have never seen before.  I began to see how I played a big part on how I had messed up with my boss.  I began to see how my boss could have been frustrated with me. He may not have handled it the best way possible at the time, but I could see the frustrations from his perspective.  I began to see the pain and hurt in my boss (I later learned that he had some painful personal issues going on in his life.), but I also saw how good my boss was at his job and what a good man he was as well.  Praying for someone you want to hate is hard, but it is worth it.  I had to let it go. 

Ephesians 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

2.  Forgiveness allows to you speak kindly about the person.

During that year that I had allowed bitterness to consume me, I would talk about all the bad things my boss had done.  I constantly slandered his name.  I caused other people to look down at him because I constantly put him down. I tainted his good name. Titus 3:2a says, "To speak evil of no one [...]."  No one deserves to have their name ruined.  I can remember a time when I heard of people talking bad about me.  It hurt so much because what they were saying was not the whole story, but only half of the story.  No one took the time to hear my side.    

When I began to forgive, the things I said about my boss changed dramatically.  I began to share with people what an amazing job he does in his profession.  I would share that he is tough, but he is tough for a reason; it is what makes him successful.  Speaking kindly about him also brought healing to my heart.

Ephesians 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

3.  Forgiveness allows you to show kindness and compassion.

Because God had been working on my heart, I no longer hated my boss but was able to be kind towards him.  I knew I would see him off and on in the future.  Avoiding him in my current profession was impossible, but when I did see him, we were both able to converse easily and kindly towards each other.  No, I was not ready to go out and be his best friend, and I know God wasn't asking me to, but I still wanted to be kind and compassionate towards him.  Later on, I found out that my boss had cancer.  I immediately sent him a "Get Well Soon" card telling him I was praying for him and that I hoped he would feel better soon.  If I had allowed bitterness to reign in my heart, I do not believe I could have done that.  It is easy to show love to people you like, but it is hard to show love to those who have hurt you.  Jesus himself says, "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,"  It is impossible to love your enemies without Christ. However, because He lives inside of me, He changed my heart and gave me His love and compassion.

Ephesians 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

4.  Forgiveness provides freedom.

I have once heard the the following saying, "Forgiveness frees two people, the person who hurts you and yourself."  I do agree that forgiveness does free one person and that is yourself.  However, forgiveness does not necessarily free the other person. The reality is that most of the time people are unaware that they have even hurt you.  If that is the case, they are not in bondage, but you are.  I do not know if my boss knows how much he hurt me, but that does not matter; what matters is that I have received freedom from bitterness, anger, and hurt.  It didn't happen overnight.  Forgiveness is not always a one time thing that once we do it, it automatically brings healing.  Sometimes it can take years for God to change a person's heart and allow allow them to truly forgive fully.  Whenever I felt bitterness take hold of me, I immediately went into prayer and asked Jesus to help take it away and to provide me with His heart of forgiveness.  I am amazed when I think about how hard it is for us to forgive others, and, yet, Jesus forgave the very person we struggle to forgive.  We all experience rejection, hurt, slander, bitterness, and hate from others, but Jesus experienced the exact same thing when He died on the cross. The amazing thing is that He chose to forgive! During his last moments he said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." We have a God of compassion and love, and He has given us freedom by forgiving us.  What a beautiful God we serve!

Allow him to change your heart and replace it with His heart.

Ephesians 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

  

Rejection

Verse of the Week:

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;

    I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. Jeremiah 31:3b

Rejection

To be honest, my freshman year and junior year of high school was one of the hardest times of my life.  I can still remember as a freshman trying to find a place to sit at lunch. Apparently the popular kids sat together in a cluster on our long benched tables. As hard as I tried, I couldn't ever seem to sit with them.  I would try to sit near the center to be close to people, but apparently, anyone I sat with had a friend they wanted to sit with them, so they would ask me to move over so that their friend could sit with them.  Then that person I was sitting with would ask me to scoot over for their friend to sit with.  The process continued until I was at the end of the table, the losers section.  I sat with the class nerd and by myself. The pain of being brushed aside so easily, and the fact that I was considered of no importance, was hard to bear.  I eventually sat alone in a classroom to eat my lunch because no one wanted to sit with me.  Basketball, my lifeline, ended that year when I was benched and did not get to play in any games unless we were winning by a lot or losing by a lot.  My teammates thought I was not talented, and I began to believe the same. I was considered a teachers pet because I tried to make all the right decisions. Apparently, I found out from my peers that you are not supposed to do that. My hearing loss made things worse; kids felt they could treat me like I was dumb because I couldn't hear.  One girl in particular told me I talked like Forest Gump, and when I mispronounced words because I couldn't hear them right, kids would laugh at me.  Life was pathetic, nobody cared about me but my family. Thank goodness I at least had my family; some children in this world do not even have that. Life felt hopeless, and I couldn't see far enough into the future to know that there was a world beyond high school that could be better.  I wanted to die, and thoughts of suicide would fill my mind. No one would miss me except my family.  No one would care if I died, I just might as well be done with it.  I occasionally went to the kitchen by myself and put a knife to my belly wondering if I would ever have the guts to thrust it in me. I was depressed and life seemed bleak.  REJECTION is incredibly powerful.

 However, I knew that someone didn't want me to give up.  There was an unseen battle going on for my life that I wasn't aware of at the time, but can see so clearly now.  I would arrive home from school in pain over the events that had happened that day, and when I would open my Bible, there would be a verse right there personally for me to give me comfort.  Ironically, during the time I considered taking my life, my relationship with God began to bloom into something deep.  He was my comfortor and encourager throughout that year.  "Don't give up, Katrina," He seemed to say, "Fight the good fight.  I am there with you.You are worth something."   So I hanged in there and looked to Him through it all.  My parents, seeing how much I struggled, realized that I needed a change.  My mom who was trying to help me through those thoughts of suicide during our long night talks knew it was time for me to move on.  So we decided that I would go to a new school next year.  A glimmer of hope...maybe I wouldn't be rejected by a new group of kids in a new environment.

We moved right before my Sophomore year, and I was able to start fresh in a brand new school.  However, fear of being rejected consumed me.  I asked my Mom if I could buy new stylish clothes, wear my skirts a little shorter, and look like everyone else around me.  I was so scared that I would make an idiot of myself talking to others because of my hearing loss, that I didn't talk at all.   No matter how hard I tried, my Junior year became the same nightmare as my freshman year.  People ignored me again.  When I tried to sit with my peers at the round table at lunch, I noticed that they all crammed between each other on one half of the table leaving me alone on the other half.  When I had to go on student council bus trips, I sat alone while others crammed into groups of three on bus seats that only seated two.  Life was hard. No one wanted to be around me.  REJECTION is harsh!

Looking back at the situation as an adult, I realized that even though I was being rejected by my peers, I learned that they rejected me so that they would not be rejected by others themselves.  Everyone wanted to feel accepted, and they did it the only way they knew.  Don't hang out with the ones deemed unacceptable.

Everyone has this innermost desire to feel loved and accepted.  A child whose parents ignore her on a daily basis only wants to feel loved and accepted.  A wife who is shunned by her in-laws only wants to fit in with her husband's family.  A man  commits adultery because he felt rejected by his wife.  A divorce couple feels pain because they could not feel loved and accepted in their marriage.  A boy who joins a gang and gets involved in drugs does so to feel like he belongs somewhere.  A woman, who messes up and finds that no one forgives her, feels pain as people shun her for her mistakes. I believe rejection is a huge fear in the lives of people.  While being considered unacceptable in high school was hard to take, it also taught me so much.  I learned that we cannot depend on humans for our happiness.  Even the best of humans will mess up and make us feel unacceptable at times.  The reality is that people will find themselves feeling unacceptable in other people eyes.

People, including myself, do so much to try to make themselves look acceptable to others.  Take facebook, people are always either posting pics of their wonderful lifestyle on facebook with everyone smiling and laughing and looking picture perfect, or sometimes a person  will do the opposite and talk about their pathetic life in hopes of receiving comfort and acceptance from sympathizers.  A family driving to church may have just been arguing and screaming at each other, but when they get out of the car and approach church, they plaster smiles on their faces and give a greeting to appear as the amazing family people think they are.  Some people do a lot of serving and giving in order to gain approval.  Others will try to wear stylish outfits or buy a beautiful home and car to feel accepted by others.  Wives sometimes change how they act in order to please their husbands and vice versa.  I am not saying all of these things are right or wrong, but I am just pointing out that people do things with the hidden motive of wanting acceptance.

I learned a hard lesson in high school....since no one accepted me who did?  I get tears in my eyes when I think of how God has accepted me with wide open arms.

I have said, "I look weird and have a hearing loss."  God says, " You are fearfully and wonderfully made by Me!  You are a masterpiece." (Psalms 139:13-14, Ephesians 2:10)

I have said, "I mess up so much. I sin and hurt others.  No one will forgive me."  God says, "I FORGIVE you, and love you anyway." (1 John 1:9)

I have said, "My life is meaningless.  Why am I even here?  No one cares."  God says, "You life is precious and I have PLANS for you!" (Jeremiah 29:11)

I have said, "I wish that people liked me."  God says, "I LOVE YOU!"  (John 3:16, Romans 5:8)

I have said, "Some people stop loving me."  God says, "I will NEVER stop loving you.  My love is unconditional and knows no bounds." (Romans 8:37-39)

God finds me acceptable!  Because of Jesus, I am now declared righteous and pure in His eyes!

I read something a few weeks back that brought tears to my eyes. It dealt with during the time when God was putting the New Covenant into place.  In the Old Covenant, the Jews were not supposed to associate with unclean people, the Gentiles, but in the New Covenant that changed.  In Acts 10, the apostle Peter, a Jew, was commanded by God to go to a house of Gentiles in which Peter said the following upon his arrival: "He said to them: 'You are well aware that it is against our law for a Jew to associate with a Gentile or visit him.  But God has shown me that I should NOT CALL ANY MAN IMPURE OR UNCLEAN!'"[emphasis mine]  God had said prior to that in verse 15, "Do not call anything impure that God has made CLEAN." [emphasis mine]  I am clean in God's eyes.  I am not dirt, scum of the earth, a reject, or junk.  I got to see how God viewed me and every person on this earth, clean through the blood of Jesus.  Because of Jesus we are acceptable in God's eyes and we are so beautiful to Him!  All we have to do is ask Jesus into our heart and approach God boldly and He will welcome us with open arms.

In God's eyes, I am ACCEPTABLE, and nothing else matters.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
    I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. Jeremiah 31:3b

Things I have learned from being Brayden's Mom

Verse of the Week:

Trust in God; trust also in me.  John 14:1b

Things I have learned from being Brayden's Mom

On September 5, 2012 Brian's and my life changed forever.  We received one of the greatest joys God has ever given us, Brayden.  I get tears in my eyes as I remember that day; he was a treasure worth waiting for. Every single pain that I went through during the 48 hours of hard labor with only 5 hours of sleep was worth it. I would do it again in a split second for Brayden.  My husband rarely cries, but I remember tears slipping down his cheeks as he saw Brayden and told me that this was one of the best days of his life.  That night Brian didn't sleep a wink; instead, he spent most of the night awake staring at Brayden and holding him. I was so overjoyed and loved touching his soft skin and looking into his sweet sleeping face.  We were the most excited couple in the world.

I have learned so much about being a parent this past year to our sweet boy and even before that...

From the beginning, Brayden belonged to God, and knowledge of fact alone has allowed me to trust God to take care of him.

When I was first pregnant with Brayden,  I knew that the child inside my womb was not mine, but God's.  Brayden has always belonged to God.  I believed with all my heart that God had plans for the life growing inside of me. Brayden was never mine; I was just the one God had chosen to take care him.  I knew that there were risks of a miscarriage, of SIDS, of deadly sicknesses, of accidents and so many other things, but I knew that even if God only allowed Brayden to live 9 weeks inside of my womb or 90 years on this earth, He would take care of him.  I knew He had plans for Brayden not only down here on earth but in heaven as well.  At that time, God had given me the privilege and joy of taking care of this new life he was knitting inside of my womb. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. (Ps 139:13) During my pregnancy and this past year, I have praised God for the opportunity to raise and take care of Brayden.  Knowing who Brayden belonged to helped me to learn to trust God in an amazing way. I didn't always trust God; there were times when I let worries invade my mind, but when I remembered who held Brayden in the palm of His hand, it gave me peace knowing Brayden would be taken care of no matter what. After all Jesus says, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me" (John 14:1).  That is what I am learning as a parent, trust.....

1. Trusting God for wisdom daily with Brayden
When Brayden finally started crawling, it introduced a whole new stage of parenthood, the disciplining stage.  I told Brian from the get go, that I didn't want to  baby proof the whole apartment, that we would teach Brayden the areas he could go and not go.  After all, it is good to start setting limits at an early age.  Right?  Let just say that this Mama had no idea what she was getting into.  So when Brayden first started crawling towards the TV and our bird's cage I was delighted to teach him the word, NO.  I would gently say, "That's a no no," and then redirect him to another toy on the floor. I had done a lot of research on this, I knew what I was doing....or did I not?  The first three days were tough; crawling what seemed like a 100 times to both "no" areas was taking its toll on me.  I was getting a workout picking him up and moving him back to his play area while saying "no," but I was determined to persevere. After all, it had only been 3 days, and he was still learning.  A week later, I felt like the "no no's" increase from a 100 times a day to a 1,000 times a day, but I was DETERMINED to show him there were limits.   Two weeks later..."Brian," I said, "This isn't working, I am going to have to change my strategy."  So like a military commander, I changed up my plan; the cunning squirt would eventually surrender and start listening. Never mind that my adversary had a cute face, adorable belly laugh, and innocent look, I wasn't going to be influenced by it.  After all, I used to teach kids and knew how to discipline.  I had a stubborn streak, and I knew I would persevere; however, I forgot one tiny detail: the contender was related to me and was equally if not doubly more stubborn than his Mama. 

The Mastermind: Don't be deceive by that cute smile and innocent look....He touched a "No No" right when I snapped the pic!  

 Hence the war between Mama and baby began.....three weeks later, he still went to his "no" spots what now seemed like a million times a day....a month later still a million times a day.  I used my weapons every battle I fought: the pack n play for time outs, my hands for a bop on the rear, and my firm steady voice which, at the beginning had sounded so patient, was now sounding more frantic when I said  "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tactics designed to distract my adversary included his light up book, blocks, toy train, and Ernie doll. Still the battle raged....mom vs son.  Who would win? Eventually one day we had a break through! After saying no, Brayden stopped, looked at me, and went back to playing with his toys!  YESSSSSS!!!  I felt like shouting out with joy;  I was so proud of him. Eventually a million times a day felt like 1000 time and 1000 times a day felt like 100. Nearly 5 months later, he did not go to those "no no" spots too often; however, he is now going to new "no no" spots like the kitchen and the dirty air vent.  However, Sergeant Mom is determined to stick with it, and  I must say that I am proud of Brayden. He has improved so much since those first days. Here is the point of the story.  I started off thinking I had everything under control. However, as the battles got worse, I grew hopeless and afraid.  I learned that I couldn't do it by myself,  that I needed God's strength and wisdom on a daily basis to stay consistent and to make smart decisions.   I learned that I have to take it one day at a time, and seek God through it all.  The challenges in the discipline department are only beginning, but I am once again trusting that God will give me the wisdom and knowledge to make the best decisions possible. Some days I feel clueless and other days I have that aw ha moment, but I know that even if I mess up, I am trusting that God can clean up my messes and make it work together for good.   

2.  Praying for Brayden helps me to remember to trust God to take care of him
I remember one time Brian and I were giving Brayden a bath. In this particular instance, Brian somehow didn't have Brayden secure in his hands.  The next thing I heard was a small little bop!... poor Brayden's head hit the wall of the tub.  Brayden probably cried for 2 seconds and then was his happy joyful self again...no bruise on his head either.  However, since we were first time parents, Brian and I wanted to make sure that Brayden was ok.  So I looked up on "Dr. Google" to see  if it was ok for Brayden to hit his head.  After all, Dr. Google has helped me in the past by diagnosing me with cancer, heart attack, appendicitis, and every single thing that I have never had.  So after researching, Dr. Google informed me that it could be a concussion which might need hospital care and that we should monitor our baby over the next 24 hours to make sure he was ok.   So Brian and I found ourselves checking Brayden's eyes every 30 minutes to make sure they were not dilated, observing his behavior carefully to make sure he wasn't acting fussy, making sure he wasn't extremely tired, and many other symptoms of a concussion.  Unfortunately for us, Brayden just happened to have the symptoms of fussiness and extreme tiredness. (We sorta forgot to take into consideration that it was bedtime and he is always fussy and tired by then.)  Brian and I were scared half out of our wits that Brayden might have a concussion and were debating on whether we should call the doctor or not.  Finally, I decided to pray about it and for Brayden.  After I prayed, once again I was reminded that God had Brayden in the palm of his hand, and that we needed to relax and trust in Him.  The next day as I kept watching Brayden to make sure there were no signs of a concussion, I was constantly having to pray and rededicate Brayden to God.  Later, I realized how ridiculous we were to respond to such a small bump.  Brayden has probably received over a hundred bumps and bruises on his head since he started crawling/walking and the number is still increasing.  Any experienced parent knows it is impossible to keep your baby from hitting his/her head as they grow older.  The purpose of the story is to show that seeking God's help and direction through prayer is a must!  Prayer helps us seek the one who is in charge. Prayer reminds us to trust.  Prayer teaches us to look at situations through God's eyes.  Prayer keeps us calm.  More importantly prayer makes us rely on God.  ...pray continually, 1Thessalonians 5:17

3.  Trusting that God will provide for all of Brayden's needs
I am constantly amazed at God's provision since before and after Brayden was born.  It is amazing how he provides for both big and small things.  I remember in a couple of instances, I was thinking, "I wish Brayden had some more animal books."  The very next day a friend showed up with two animal books.  Another time I was thinking that I wanted to get Brayden an animal farm.  Soon after, a friend emailed me and asked me if I wanted her animal farm that her son had grown out of.  I never told anyone but my husband about these ideas, yet, God chose to provide for these small things anyway.  I am amazed how God cares for both the large and tiny details of Brayden's life. God has constantly provided for Brayden's needs.  But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Philipians 4:19)

4.  Worry is the opposite of Trust
One thing I have battled as a parent is worrying.  I learned a long time ago that worry is the opposite of trust. I have wasted to much time worrying about things that never happen.  As Jesus says, You cannot add any time to your life by worrying about it. (Matthew 6:27). One particular instance, I remember taking worrying to the extreme.  I was so excited to take Brayden to his routine doctor checkup to see how he was doing.  I couldn't wait to see how much he had grown and how much he weighed.  However, in this particular doctor appointment, the doctor dropped the bomb and told me that Brayden's head was growing to fast. He wasn't to concerned about it, but he still wanted to monitor his head for the next few months to be safe.  No parent likes to hear that there is something wrong with their kid.  I went home depressed like my world had fallen apart. What if there really was cancer or fluid pressure in his brain?  What if Brayden's life was in danger?  What if he needed special care?  What if? What if?  For the next few months as the doctor monitored his head, I had to learn to just trust in God and know that Brayden was once again in His hands.  I couldn't waste my time analyzing and worrying about it.  While there were instances where I wasted time worrying, there were also instances where I remembered to give the situation and Brayden to God.  What a comfort to know that someone had it all under control.  We have this illusion that we can control things in our lives and so we worry as if it will help the situation, but most of the time we can't.  However, knowing God is in control, allowed me to step back and once again rest in is love and peace. 

As a mom, I am learning to trust in Jesus.  I am learning that even though Brian and I love Brayden deeply, there is someone far greater and more powerful who loves him more, and I need to give Brayden over to Him. Brayden never belonged to me; he belongs to God.  Mine and Brian's job is to take care of Brayden, teach him about Jesus, and to love him with Christ's love.  However, we are not to do those tasks alone; Brian and I must depend on God and trust in Christ to help us each day.  

Belongs to GOD!

Happy 1st Birthday, my dear sweet Brayden.  We are excited to see what your Heavenly Father has in store for you.  May you learn to trust in Him as Mama and Dada are learning to do right now.  We love you! Love, Mama and Dada


***There will be no blog entry next weeks since I will be celebrating Brayden's first birthday!  Look for another blog entry in two more weeks. 

Give to Get?

Verse of the Week:

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ." (Ephesians 1:3)

Give to Get?

Do I have to give anything to receive God's blessings?  Growing up it was emphasized to me to tithe 10% of my income and then God would bless me in my finances.  I was always bothered by this; not by the giving part, but by the blessing part.  I felt that the motive was wrong: give to get something, in this case, God's blessings.  However, I tithed willingly because I wanted to serve my sweet Lord and give Him so much for all that He had ALREADY given to me.   I would never want to downplay the experiences of some people who lived, shared, and experienced blessings from God from tithing, but the idea of tithing in order to receive blessings bothered me.  

Lets look at a few of the verses that teachers insist deal with tithing and being blessed.
When Abraham defeated the 4 kings with his men, he took the spoils of war and gave 10% of his loot to the high priest Melchizedek. Lets read the verses in Genesis 14:17-20:

After Abram returned from defeating Kedorlaomer and the kings allied with him, the king of Sodom came out to meet him in the Valley of Shaveh (that is, the King’s Valley).

Then Melchizedek king of Salem brought out bread and wine. He was priest of God Most High,  and he blessed Abram, saying,

“Blessed be Abram by God Most High,
    Creator of heaven and earth. And praise be to God Most High,    who delivered your enemies into your hand.”

Then Abram gave him a tenth of everything.

Lets talk about how if we give God a tenth of our salary, He will bless us. Notice in Abraham's story, he was ALREADY BLESSED by God.  Melchizedek blessed Abraham FIRST. In return, Abraham gave 10% back to God through the High Priest Melchizedek.  God didn't bless him AFTER he gave a tenth of everything, He had already given Abraham a blessing.  

Let's look at another verse that people use to back up the idea of tithing, and then look and see if Jacob got blessings from doing it.  Genesis 28:20-22

Then Jacob made a vow, saying, “If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father’s household, then the Lord will be my God and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God’s house, and of all that you give me I will give you a tenth.”   Notice the underlined portion of the verse, once again, Jacob was not giving in order to receive blessings from God.  God gave to Jacob first.  Jacob said, that ALL THAT YOU GIVE ME, I will give you a tenth.  God had already blessed him, and he in return would give. 

Last major verse that people would say about being blessed when you tithe is one that I heard all the time growing up. God is talking to the Jews after they had been disobedient.  Malachi 3:8-11:

    

“Will a mere mortal rob God? Yet you rob me.

“But you ask, ‘How are we robbing you?’

“In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse—your whole nation—because you are robbing me.  Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.  I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not drop their fruit before it is ripe,” says the Lord Almighty.

First off, this verse is taken from the OLD COVENANT of the law.  In the old covenant, God made an agreement with the Israelites that if they would follow his laws, he would bless them, if they did not follow the law, he would curse them.    That is why you see Him challenging the Jews to tithe as He had commanded in the Old Covenant to prove that He would do his part of the bargain and bless them for it.  However, we are no longer under the old covenant and the curses/blessings that God placed upon the Israelites. Galatians 3:13 says, "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a pole.”  We are no longer under the old covenant of the law.  Christ took that away.  So when God curses the Jews for not tithing, it is based on the old covenant.  God wanted to bless the Israelites and said so, "Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it."  Unfortunately the Jews broke the tithing law and God had to curse them.

What does the new covenant in the New Testament say about tithing?  Sadly enough, there is NOT ONE verse on tithing in the New Testament.

There is one verse in the New Testament that people use to back up the concept that if you tithe you will be blessed.  It comes from the words of Jesus himself: "So that your giving may be in secret.  Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."  In this verse, it sounds like God rewards us if we give, but notice what Christ is emphasizing here, giving in SECRET.  We need to read the verses in the right context.  Apparently men in the synagogues were giving in public so that they could be praised by men for their giving.  Matthew 6:2 says, " So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full."  The people in the synagogues motives were wrong. Jesus wants us to have the right motives in giving.  He does not want us to give so that we can win the approval of people, but to give out of the love and joy in our hearts, that in itself is the reward.  

Since there are no verses on tithing in the New Testament, lets look at verses on giving.   

In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words of the Lord Jesus himself said: It is more blessed to give than to receive. Acts 20:35b

The people of the early church would give their possessions to the needy. Acts 2:45 "Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need."

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. (2 Corinthians 9:7)  God wants us to give joyfully and cheerfully, to whomever he leads us to give to, not reluctantly or under compulsion!  He loves a cheerful giver.  People who are under the burden of debt and fail to tithe 10% feel like guilt is heaped upon them, and they expect God to curse them as it says he will under the Old Covenant. However,  we are not under the Old Covenant but under  the New Covenant. Here is the point I am trying to make.  It is not about tithing to receive blessings, it is about giving freely in your hearts because of all that God has blessed you with through Christ Jesus. Here is the point I want to make: God has ALREADY BLESSED us! Every spiritual blessing has been given to us already.  "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ." (Ephesians 1:3)  Lets give all that we want to give because of the love and blessings God has already poured out to us through Christ Jesus.  

Let me point out something.  When Brian and I got married, I have received so much love and support from my husband.  Because he loves me so much, I can't help but want to love, give and serve him in return.  It is the same way with God.  We love Him because He first loved us.  We give because He has given us so much. Lets give not to get something, but because we have already been blessed with so much in Christ.  

***I received a lot of my thoughts from the book, Grace, the Forbidden Gospel, by Andre van der Merwe.  I am not saying I have the correct answer on this topic, but I felt the need to share my thoughts.  This blog entry may spark discussions on tithing but I hope it does not create arguments among others on the idea of tithing. The main point of this entry is not to debate tithing but to emphasize God's loving character and how He loves us so much that blesses us anyway, tithing or not.

However, there will be some people who will want to discuss tithing in more detail.  To share my understanding of tithing, here is some more information on some ideas I have on this topic.  Tithing is under the Old Covenant not the New.  It was created based on Old Testament verses that I shared above.  Am I saying we shouldn't tithe?  I believe that if we truly love the Lord, we will gladly give.  However, we are not obligated under the New Covenant to give 10% but we give what we have decided in our hearts to give as it says in 2 Corinthians 9:7 whether it be 10%, 50%, or 5%.  God loves a cheerful giver.  Perhaps you have a different interpretation; I respect that, but this is what I have concluded thus far.