Are You Wise or Just Plain Stupid?

Verse of the Week:

Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult;
     whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse
Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you;
      rebuke a wise man and he will love you
Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still;
      teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning. Proverbs 9:7-9

Are You Wise or Just Plain Stupid?

I remember driving my Mom and sister home one day a few years back.  We had all just had a great time together shopping and enjoying our mother /daughter/sister time.  However, our outing on the way home slowly went sour.  I don't mind driving people around town, but driving around town with my family was tough growing up.  I was the youngest in my family, and it seemed that everyone in my family felt the need to correct my nasty driving habits.  It was always hard having a back seat driver with me in the car.  Unfortunately for me, I had TWO back seat drivers with me that day.  I don't fully remember all they said to me that day about my driving, but I am sure it was along the lines of this: "Trina, don't follow to close to the car behind you, that is dangerous!"  or "The speed limit is 60 not 62!"  or "Stay in your lane!"  or "Don't turn so fast, slow down."  or "Don't stop so fast, it wears on the breaks!"  or "Trina, make sure you stop completely at the stop sign."  Whatever it was they were saying that day, my temper slowly started to rise up from steaming to a boiling point.  It is enough when I have one of them correcting my driving, but two? Whew! I was surprised that my anger had not gone from boiling point to an out right explosion!  Eventually, I had enough, and I decided to do something about it.  Once again my sister was about to say something, so instead of listening to her, I decided why should I even hear her voice?  By this time, I had gotten my cochlear implant to restore my hearing, but in order to actually hear, I have to wear my processor (looks like a hearing aid).  If I am not wearing it, I am completely deaf.  In this case, I was sick of hearing my mom and sister correct me on every single detail of my driving; soooooooooo in a fit of anger, I grabbed my processor and jerked it off my ear!  Ahhhhhh....silence. Life was good again... that is until I saw their faces.  I knew I was in trouble! When we got home, I faced the wrath of the Garrison women....lets just say that I never jerked my processor off  my ear again.


Here is the point I am trying to make from this, when someone tells me something that I don't want to hear, I have a hard time being open to their correction and rebuke.  I didn't want to hear what my Mom and sister had to say about my driving, so instead I got upset.  I don't like hearing critical statements on things about me from my husband, family, and friends.  However, this past week I read something that once again reopened my eyes....It comes from Proverbs 9:7-9

Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult;
     whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse
Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you;
      rebuke a wise man and he will love you
Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still;
      teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning.

I realized pretty quick that I was the mocker, not the wise man in that verse. People can easily find out how wise they are  by how they respond to people's critical remarks.  Proverbs 12:1 says, Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. I don't know about you, but I sure don't want to be considered STUPID!  

Lets look at the same scenario above, but this time lets see a wise man's response to it.  While I tend to give my family a hard time about being back seat drivers, I happen to be one myself.  All throughout our marriage I have had a nasty habit of telling my sweet husband what to do behind the wheel:  "Turn right here!"  "Please be careful on those left hand turns, that car nearly hit us!"  "The light has turned green!"  "STOP!"  "Can you go faster than 20 miles in hour?  The speed limit is 35!"  "Please make sure one of your hands is on the steering wheel!"  Lets just say I am way worse than my family ever was at keeping my mouth shut when I am in the passenger seat.  However, my husband rarely gets upset.  He just doesn't respond to what I say, but instead, stays calm. As a result, he has kept us from having pointless arguments about his driving.  I wish I had been smart to do that!

Brian and I 50 years from now.

Here is the point, I knew I needed to be open to correction and really listen to what people have to say to me.  While some people's criticism can be beneficial, not all of people's correction is always helpful.  However, how I respond to criticism whether good or bad is very important.  When I respond negatively, it results in hurt relationships and causes a lot of needless friction in mine and other's lives.  I knew I needed to exercise self control and not get angry on every little bit of criticism I received.  However, I was also very aware that "Me, myself, and I" can not always exercise that self control.  In Galatians 2:20 it says,  I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  Christ lives inside of me.  I was aware that Jesus who lives inside of me was the one who gives me the ability to accept criticism without getting angry.  Self control was one of the fruits of the spirit, that was displayed in Christ (Galatians 5:23). So my heart's cry began to be the following: "Jesus may your voice inside of me be louder than the voice of the flesh whenever I hear criticism.  Give me your ability to have self control whenever people are critical towards me.  Help me to receive correction with your gentleness and kindness.  May I respond wisely and with your love.  May your light shine through me. Help me to focus on YOU and your character whenever I respond to criticism. For I know that it is not myself who does these things but Christ in me."

Are you are mocker, a wise man, or just plain stupid?  You can always tell by how to respond to criticism.