It Does Not Take a Church to Raise a Godly Child

Verse of the Week:

14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? 15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.  James 2:14-17

It Does Not Take a Church to Raise a Godly Child

I remember hearing someone say, "It takes a village to raise a child."  In other words, everyone in society contributes to the well being, care, and raising of a family's child.  Many families not only believe that it takes a village to raise a child, but that it also takes a Church to raise a godly child.

Many parents are dependent upon the church to teach their children about Christ.  Once a week for an hour, they bring their child to Sunday School to listen to their youth pastor talk to them about Jesus, and then spend another hour in the pew listening to their Pastor preach.  For many families, those two hours in church is all their children ever hear about the Lord.  Is going to church enough for our children?  I am not saying the church isn't without it benefits, but is the church the most effective way to show our children Christ's love?

Suppose I get a brand new sewing machine (boy do I love sewing!).  I am so excited about it, and can't wait to start doing all sorts of craft projects on it.  I open up the instruction manual to  figure out how to get it to work.  The manual shows me what each button is for, how to put the thread in, how to use the pedal, and many other things I need to know in how to operate a sewing machine.  But then something happens...  When I try to do what the manual says, it doesn't work on the sewing machine.  The thread won't  go through, the pedal is broken, and the buttons do not do what the manual says they will do.  I get frustrated, and end up taking the machine back to the store.  I abandon it. 

Just as I abandoned the sewing machine, because it doesn't do what the manual says it does, some children abandon their faith because what they hear in church is not shown in their home. They go to church and hear about Christ's love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness, but at home their parents show them the opposite.  They hear one thing for an a couple of hours a week, but have a hard time believing it, because it is not shown in their own homes.  So they abandon their faith believing it to not work.

The key to teaching our children about Jesus does not lie in church attendance, but in the parents.  According to a survey given to Protestant youth, the most influential person in a teenager's life is not their youth pastor, but their Mom.  Dad follows Mom in a close second.  Out of all the influences out there for teens such as friends, siblings, relatives, youth pastors, television, radio, celebrities, teacher, coaches, retreats, and even the Bible, the parents are at the top of the list. *

Some parents may talk the talk but not walk the walk.  James 2:14-17 says, 14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? 15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

To many teenagers, their parent's faith is dead.  Their parent's faith is not reflected in their actions. They say one thing but do the other.  Their life style does not reflect their love for God.

In Mark Holmen's book, Faith Begins at Home, he talks about a  man who asked a group of parents at a conference an important question:

 "How many of you wish your teenager had a stronger faith?" 

Every hand in the room went up. He then made a comment that I'll never forget.  He said, "While it's good that everyone desires that our teenagers have a stronger faith, the truth is that what we see in our teenagers' faith is a mirror image of our own faith.  So, the issue is not their faith, but your own faith." 

I can still remember seeing the reaction of my one year old between two scenarios between Brian and I.  In one scenario, Brian and I were both having a disagreement, and sadly enough my temper got the better of me, and I yelled.  When I looked over at Brayden, it broke my heart; he was looking at me with a quizzical brow. Why was mom acting this way?  In another scenario, Brian and I had been joking with each other and gave each other a hug and kiss. When I looked over at Brayden, he was beaming and smiling at us.  He liked what he saw.  Our one year old is way smarter than we realize, and in reflecting back to those scenarios, I realized which one I wanted to display to him on a daily basis, the scenario filled with love.  I want him to grow up in a home where we display Christ's love in our actions.

One time a friend and I were talking about our upbringing and parents. She brought up a good point, "Katrina, I never took my mom's advice seriously because she never took her own advice."  Why should kids love the Lord, if their own parents don't.  Parents need to fix their own hearts first before changing their child's heart.

When I say change our hearts, I do not mean start getting wrapped up in a bunch of do's and do not's and obey God because you have too. When we accept Christ into our lives, a heart changing experience take place inside of us.  No longer do we desire the things of the world, but the things of God. When we realize Christ's love for us, we can't help but love others.  We do the right thing, not because we are commanded to do it, but because we are willing to do it.  1 Peter 5:2 says, "Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers- NOT BECAUSE YOU MUST, but BECAUSE YOU ARE WILLING, as God wants you to be. (emphasis mine)

Christ's love is shown through people (1 John 4:12).  Parent's have the best chance to show Christ's love to their children. Church and no other outside influence can take their place. 

Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it. -Proverbs 22:6

It doesn't take a village to raise a child or a church to raise a godly child....it takes a parent.

*Information found in-Faith Begins at Home, by Mark Holeman

Church...What is it really?

Verse of the Week:

1 Corinthians 6:19  "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own."

Church...What is it really?

Growing up, I learned so much about the Lord through my parents.  If anyone had an impact on teaching me about Jesus, it was my Mom and Dad.  They displayed their love for God through their actions on a daily basis.  I remember our evening Bible studies before bedtime as a child.  Dad would read from our picture Bible, and I remember looking forward to seeing the colorful pictures and reading about Abraham, David, Moses, Ruth, Esther, Elijah, Jesus, and Paul.  I remember waking up Saturday mornings and walking into my parent's bedroom seeing them engrossed in a Bible study together.  I remember our prayers we said at meal times and outside of mealtimes.  I remember daily talks we had about our Savior.  I knew who was number one in my parent's lives, Jesus.  When I was around 10-11 years old, I remember that we stopped going to church.  People were extremely critical towards my parents for making that choice.  I remember noticing it more as I grew older.  People would judge my family thinking that we were wrong not to go to church without ever knowing why we stopped.  I remember a pastor in particular who shunned my own mother because she didn't take me to church.  Shame on people for being so quick to judge and not truly loving with Christ's love.  

You see, my siblings and I all have a hearing loss, making it hard to listen in large group settings such as a church.  Try reading a pastor's lips from 20 feet away, and you will get what I mean.  Try keeping up with a group conversation in Sunday school without the use of your ears, and you will quickly find it downright impossible.  Try listening hard all week at school and then going to church and listening some more.  It is exhausting.  People have never realized how hard my siblings and I have had to work at listening.  Therefore, my parents made a difficult decision to start having church at home.  Every week we would watch Christian pastors on TV such as Adrian Rogers and Charles Stanley.  Their broadcasts were closed captioned.  For those of you that do not know what closed captioning is, the words that a person is saying on TV appear at the bottom of the screen (just think about today's subtitles on movies).  I grew more in that setting than I ever did at church as a child.  I would take notes as we watched the broadcasts, and then my family and I would sit and discuss what we had watched afterwards.  Sometimes the discussions would last for hours and were one of the highlights of my week.  I grew in the Lord and learned to love Him deeply during that time of my life.

I learned long ago, that Christianity isn't about a church building, but about a personal relationship with Christ Jesus.  The purpose of this blog entry is to explain what church really is.  This is NOT to put down the church in any way.  I myself as an adult attend church and find it beneficial in my walk with Christ.  However, I have heard following said by people:

• The church is God's house.
• To show your kids how important God is, you MUST go to church every Sunday.
• Don't neglect fellowship with other Christians, you need to have a church in order to do so.
• It is impossible to love Jesus and not love the Church. 

Do I agree or disagree with the above statements?  Well it depends....

First off, I cannot talk about the above statements without giving some background of the word "church" and how churches actually first came about.  The word church in the Bible NEVER referred to a building, temple, or house of God, rather the New Testament verses that use the word Church comes from the word Ekklesia (mentioned 114 times in the New Testament). Ekklesia always refers to an assembly of people, never a building. As my pastor has put it, a church is a body of believers.  In early Christianity, Christians met in each other's homes, not in an official building.  This went on for 300 plus years after Christ's resurrection.  When the Roman emperor, Constantine came to power, he wanted to promote Christianity and did so by constructing the building of several churches.  While Constantine was known as the first Christian emperor, he still clung to his pagan beliefs and used some of his pagan ideas while constructing the church.  He wanted the Christians to have their own sacred building just like the Jews and pagans had their own temples.  He named his churches after saints just as pagans named their temples after their gods.  He declared Sunday to be a day of rest for all religions to honor his Sun god, Mithras.  By the way, the Jew's Sabbath was on Saturday, never on Sunday.  

There were many more pagan ideas that were implemented into the church during the 4th and 5th centuries. Most if not many ideas for the church are man made, not from the Bible.  (To find more information about this topic, refer to the book Pagan Christianity by Frank Viola and George Barna.)  The point I am trying to make, is that the church was never initially a building but rather turned into such a place as history has shown.

Whether I agree or disagree with the above statements soley depends on the definition of "church."  Is the church a building or body of believers? By understanding that the church is a body of believers, it changes my view of church.
So lets discuss the above statements I put down:

1. The church is God's house.
Perhaps you have heard the familiar phrase on Sunday, "Welcome to the house of God!" or "God's spirit is moving in this church today!"  Does God truly dwell in a church building?  Is the church His home?  Lets read 1 Corinthians 6:19

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own."

God's spirit resides inside of you.  You are his home.  When you became a Christian and recieved Jesus into your heart, God's spirit came to live inside of you.  If you refer to a Church as a body of believers, then the above statement is true, God's spirit resides in the body of believers.  If you believe that God resides in a building, then I would have to disagree with you. Is it possible for God's spirit to be in a church building?  Only if a body of believers are present.

2. To show your kids how important God is, you must go to church every Sunday.
If you have read my story above, you will quickly find out that my family did not go to church every Sunday, but I still learned how important Jesus is.  He is EVERYTHING to me. What does the Bible say about bringing your children to church...lets look at some scripture.

Proverbs 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Notice that none of the scriptures say anything about taking a child to church each Sunday, but rather it talks about training a child on the ways of God.  Can church be a way to train your child, ABSOLUTELY! But are there other alternatives to teaching your child about Jesus? YES, which I hope you saw from my own history of learning about Christ. You can take your child to church building every Sunday, but if you are not showing them and teaching them about God's love during the week, then are they truly being trained up in the way they should go?  Actions speak louder than the words on the pulpit.  Are your actions reflecting those of Christ?

3. Don't neglect fellowship with other Christians, you need to have a church in order to do so.

Many of us have heard of this verse from Hebrews 10:

25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

I agree, we shouldn't neglect meeting and fellowshiping with other Christians. Remember, the definition of church determines whether I agree with the above statement or not. If it means a gathering of believers, then I agree completely.  However, is the church building the only way to do it?  No. 

Another thought, do we truly fellowship with Christians on Sunday?  We go into the service and maybe introduce ourselves to a few newcomers that are visiting the church; we wave and say the classic, "Hi, how are you." and then we sit down and listen to the pastor preach the rest of the service.  Are we really meeting and discussing the word of God with other Christians?  Can church be a source or way to find other Christian friends and fellowship with them outside of church? Absolutely!   But is it the only way? No.  I never felt like I neglected meeting with Christians growing up because my whole family were Christians, and we met and discussed the word of God on more days than just Sunday.  My family was my church or gathering of believers.

4. It is impossible to love Jesus and not love the Church.
If the church is being referred to as a body of believers, then I agree with this statement.  If a person is saying they love Jesus but hate their fellow brother/sister in Christ then how can the love of Christ truly be in them.  1 John 4:20 says:

If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.


It is impossible to love Jesus and not love his followers; however, there are people that have problems with the church building, traditions, and the structure that churches run by, but not the believers themselves.  But there are also people that love the church traditions and expect others to love the same and are critical if they do not.  Loving your fellow believers is more important than the building and its traditions.

Church is a gathering of believers!

I wrote this blog, to help give people a better understanding towards others who love the Lord but do not attend church in a building.  I myself now attend church in a building and find it beneficial, but I do not judge those who do not attend a church building themselves. I used to be one of them.  While a church building can be a beautiful resource in growing in our relationship with God, we should be careful in making it a hard core biblical doctrine, because the Bible says NOTHING about going to a building every Sunday to worship. If anything, the church building was built upon pagan ideas and is not Biblically based as oppose to popular belief.   The church is every single believer in Christ that meets together, whether in a home, coffee shop, or a church building.  The body of believers is not just contained in one building, but believers are everywhere.  Let's not judge our fellow believers, but rather be quick to love, support, and help each other with our walk in Christ whether it is in our homes, at Walmart, at a party, during work, or in a church building.  The church is a gathering of people.