Tuesday, September 15, 2015

A Letter to My Youngest Son

My Dear Sweet Carson,
I cannot believe you will be turning ONE in just a few more days.  I am so incredibly blessed to have you in my life, my sweet tempered child. You were 11 days late, but worth the wait and the horrible pain I went through in labor.  You have brought calmness and joy into our home, and I am so delighted to have the privilege of raising you.


There are many things I love about you sweet boy...one is your incredible patience.  I can still remember leaving you in the nursery at church, and three hours later you were still in good spirits despite the fact you had not drunken from your bottle, skipped your morning nap, and was still waiting patiently for the good stuff, Mama's yummy milk.  Your patience amazes me, and I pray that God will use your patience and perseverance to reach people that the world would consider a hopeless cause for Christ .

I love your passion for water, sweet Carson.  You would stay in a swimming pool for hours if your Mama would let you.  I love seeing you splash away with your hands, reaching for the water as if expecting to pick some of it up, and putting your face straight down in it and coming back up delighted to have water all over your face!  I do pray that you will have that same passion with Jesus, our TRUE LIVING WATER.  I pray that you will grow to understand His grace and love and in return give the same love and grace to others.  I pray that you will recognize how special you are in Christ: accepted, loved, and clean in the eyes of our Heavenly Father.

I remembered how you surprised Mommy by waiting to crawl at 11 months.  I wasn't sure why you waited so long, but then one day it hit me.  Doing all that time you weren't crawling, you were watching.  You were taking everything in and observing life on the sidelines.  You were thinking, learning, and reflecting.  You are my little thinker, and I pray that you will continue to observe and reflect as you grow older and see and view situations differently.  That you will use your deep thinking to help others to view their problems, blessings, trials, and tribulations in a new way: through the eyes of Jesus.


My son, you are the calm in the storm.  Things can get crazy in our house at times, but no matter how hectic or crazy things get, you are always calm, content, and happy.  I can always count on you for a smile during a bad day and sweet cuddles when I am exhausted.

You are so loved, Carson. Never forget that.  You are loved so deeply by Mama, Dada, Brayden, and Jesus. My deepest prayer is that you will love Jesus with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength and to point the world to Him.  I pray that you will use your patience, calmness, and beautiful mind to bring God glory.

You are special.

You are loved,

You are cherished by your family and Heavenly Father.



Happy First Birthday my sweet baby boy.  I love you more than you know.

Love,
Mama


Friday, August 28, 2015

A Letter to my Tenderhearted Warrior

Dear Sweet Brayden,
Happy 3rd Birthday, sweet boy.  I can still remember when you were first born.  You came into this world screaming at the top of your lungs.  As they placed you in my arms, I remember feeling so overwhelmed when I saw this crying baby.  What was I supposed to do to help you stop crying?  I was clueless, but God knew we needed each other.

My beautiful first born, you are my Tenderhearted Warrior. I can't even describe how excited I am for you as I watch you grow.  You are so special, and I am so honored that God chose me to be your Mama.  You have so much potential that it makes my heart ache and leap with joy all at once.

You truly are a warrior.

I have never battled a human being as much as I have had to battle you.  This Mama has taught over 900 children and none of them can hold a candle to you my Warrior.

As a baby, I can still remember trying to teach you the word "no."  People had told me amazing stories of how their child learned the word no  the first time they told their baby or within a week after teaching their baby, so I thought that the task of disciplining you would be a piece of cake. After all, I had taught children for many years and managed to keep classes with over 30 students under control, but God knew what I was up against....It took me over a month to teach you "no"....it took disciplining, distracting, and consistency to get you to stop, and even then you still tried.

As a toddler, bedtime was my favorite battle and still is....I remember battling you during naptime for an hour and sometimes up to two hours EVERYDAY for two straight months.  Getting you to stay in your bed and go to sleep was like trying to teach a dog to stop breathing.  Fast forward to a year and half later, I still have to discipline you for getting out of bed at least one time EVERY DAY during naptime!!!  We have made progress though....

My most recent memory that gets me to laughing is teaching you to say "Yes Mam" instead of "No" to me.  On this particular battle, you didn't want to say, "Yes Mam."  The result was several timeouts and spankings. Finally, I got you to say "Yes Mam,"  but to my utter surprise the word "No" quietly followed the "Yes Mam,"  ....I remember looking up baffled at my husband who was trying so hard to keep from laughing. Wow...such stubbornness! :)

Sweetheart, you indeed are a Warrior.   I have cried over you, prayed over you, and battled you daily....and still do....Your stubborn, strong willed spirit excites my heart.  As you grow and continue to learn more about Jesus, it is my deepest prayer that you will be a Warrior for Christ.  That you will not budge or give in to the ways of the world, but that you will battle against the world for the sake of Christ.  I pray that you will use that strong willed spirit and stubbornness to fight for Christ, when the world seeks to destroy His name.

Yes, you indeed are a warrior, but a TENDERHEARTED one.  I love your sweet tender heart, Brayden.  You cannot stand to see suffering in this world, and it makes you cry if someone or something is in pain.

Whenever you read books and see someone crying or hurt, you immediately bring that picture to me, troubled. Then we work together to try to make that sad face happy....many times you will kiss that sad face hoping it will start grinning back at you.

You indeed care for the tiniest of creatures.  Recently, you found a mosquito who had drowned in your pool.  You gently placed the dead creature on your finger and made a sad face.  "Ohhhh...." you said all sad and then proceeded to give the mosquito a kiss to make him feel better.  I didn't have the heart to tell you that he was dead and told you to put him in the grass so that he could sleep and get better.  You gently laid the dead creature on a single blade of grass and then resumed your playing.

Another time, you found a dead cockroach and brought him up to me to make better.  I quickly grabbed him out of your hands before you could kiss him!

You care for your mother too.  One day you found me crying, and you sat and cried with me and then proceeded to hug me.  Your empathy and love towards me warmed my heart, and made me feel so much better.

You are always so eager to help me.  If I say I am going to do laundry, dishes, carry groceries in, vacuum, mop, or cook, you look up at me with eagerness in your handsome face and say, "I help."

Sweet boy, I pray that God uses your tender heart to reach out to the broken, lost, and hurt.  I pray that your empathy, compassion, and love will bring them much comfort and ultimately point them to the healer of hearts, Jesus.

I pray that you will use your Warrior spirit to defend the weak and your compassionate heart to show them Christ's love.

Yes,  my sweet boy, you feel so much.  When you are happy, you show it to the extremes; when you are sad, you show it to the extremes, when you are angry, you show it to the extremes;  and when you love, you show it to the extremes, and when you are compassionate, you show it to the extremes.  You feel so much in that big heart of yours, and I know that God will use your emotions to draw people to Him.

I am so proud of you Brayden, and I am so privileged and blessed to be your Mama.  I am so glad God chose me to raise you, take care of you, and teach you about our amazing Savior.  Already I see a blossoming relationship growing between you and our Creator.  It excites me so!

I love you, my Tenderhearted Warrior.

Love, Mommy

Friday, July 31, 2015

Adventures with Brian

My life is a complete adventure! Why?  Six years ago I said, "I do," to a wonderfully awesome man.  God knew what I needed, and He sent Brian to deal with this stubborn, strong willed, woman with a temper to match her red hair...ok brown hair, but I am positive that the red is hidden inside of the brown roots.  Ever since I met him, there has never been a dull moment. Happy Anniversary, babe.  Here are some lessons I have learned from being married to you:

1.  Make Sure God is in the driver's seat in your marriage.
Ever since we have been married, someone has always been the back seat driver in the car.  ME!  I am positive that we have only stayed alive because of my quick and effective commands that have kept us from a tragic accident.  Coming towards a red light a hundred feet away?   I quickly come to the rescue and shout "STOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPP!" at the top of my lungs.  Need to change lanes in order to make sure we don't miss our turn?  I make sure I inform him in advance...way in advance...ok, about 2 to 3 miles in advance to ensure we don't miss our turn.  Making a left turn into oncoming traffic 50 feet away?  You can be sure I will GASSSSSSPPPPPP and panic for a brief moment  because I was positive the car was about to hit us. Through it all, Brian stays calm and rolls his eyes.  Yep, don't know how he would survive without me. I am his hero.


Seriously though, how many times do we think we know how to run our marriage better than God?  We become back seat drivers, barking out orders because we think we know better than the creator of the world...or worse, we kick Jesus out of the driver's seat and take over. We try to do it ourselves, in our own strength and mess things up.  Ever since the fall of man, when we decided to do thing our way instead of God's way, we have created a world full of pain, tragedy, and strife.  So why do we think we can run our marriage apart from Christ? It says in John 15:5, I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.  When we remain in Christ, we can bear much fruit for Him in our marriage and our lives, but the moment we do not remain in Him, the thorns come.  Unforgiveness, selfishness, and anger begin to reign, leaving the marriage in shambles. Apart from Him, we can do nothing. When God is TRULY FIRST in a marriage, it is a successful marriage because if we remain in Him, we will do the things that Jesus does and exhibit the traits of Christ such as patience, kindness, forgiveness, self control.  All important in a successful marriage.

2.  Get rid of any snakes that can hurt your marriage.
Brian and I love animals.  So when we saw a HUGE rattlesnake about 25 feet long...ok 5 feet long, but 25 feet sounds better...we oooooohed and awwwed as we watched it slither across the dirt road  and under our car.   After the initial excitement weared off, we realized we had a problem.  The snake is UNDER OUR CAR!!!!  Panic begins to set in as the snake takes an interest in our engine. Slowly it begins to slither up into our engine from underneath the car.  Now we have a HUGE problem!  There is a snake inside of our car's hood!  Brian and I debated on opening the hood of the car to get him out,, but scratched that idea for fear the snake would pop out like a vampire and bite our arms with it's deadly fangs.  We are out in the wild in a parking lot with a few other people around...what are we going to do?!?!  Perhaps if we drive the car around the snake would decide to slither out of the hot engine.  So around and around Brian goes in the car around the parking lot, while everyone else and I were crouched down looking under the car to see if the snake had come out.  No such luck...hope was fading....  

Then it happened!  Our knights in shining armors showed up...two rough big muscled men with tattoos etched all over their bodies, bandannas tied around their heads and dressed in cutoff shirts charging forth in their beat up old pick up truck with a long metal stick in hand. They were ready to do war with the monster. One guy got ready to open the the hood of our car and the other had his metal staff in hand ready to attack! WHAM!  The hood opened at the speed of light and the other guy began pounding at the snake in the car.  BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM...the guy kept beating on the snake.  Brian and I cringed...how do you kindly stop a guy who is trying to kill a venomous snake and politely say that YOU ARE BEATING UP OUR ENGINE too!  BOOM BOOM BOOM!!!  Would we even have an engine left when he was done battling?  Brian whispered to me, "How are we going to get home?" Eventually the guy lifted the dead snake up with the stick and thew him out of the car, unaware of the direction he threw him out...straight at Brian.  Brian ducked just in time before the snake almost hit him in the head.  It was over...we hoped.  We still needed to see if the engine worked. Brian and I held our breaths as Brian turned the keys....VROOOOOMMM....the car started.  We would make it out of the wild after all!  For the rest of the trip, Brian and I always looked under the car before we got in to make sure no monster with sharp fangs was ready to grab at our legs.

You know, there are some things in our marriage that seem harmless at first...just like watching the snake slither across the parking lot.  It wasn't bringing us harm, but eventually, these things can climb in our engine and cause us a lot of problems, eventually destroying a marriage. Things like technology, socializing with friends, and jobs can seem perfectly harmless, but if over done, they can rob us of something important: time with our spouse.  Be aware of snakes. The devil would love to devour our marriages because a marriage is suppose to reflect Christ's union to the church.  Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8.  

3.  Communication is key.
I have a knack for wanting to talk to Brian who is in a different room right when I want to say something.  "Honnnneyyy!" I might shout, "Do you know where my shoes are?"  Then I wait expectantly for Brian to answer.  For those of you that know me, that is the dumbest thing I can do. Why?  I have a hearing loss, and talking to a person in another room is virtually impossible.  For awhile at the beginning of our marriage, Brian would dumbly answer in response to my question over and over until after about five times of me saying, "What?" he realized that I was never going to get what he said.  To make things worse, I have at times asked a question with my processor off (my processor helps me hear...without it I am profoundly deaf).  Then I realize that I can't hear anything and go off to find my hubby.  

You have probably heard the saying, "You have two ears and one mouth, which one are you supposed to use more?"  In my case, I have two eyes and one mouth...which one should I use more?  My eyes of course!!!  Reading lips sure can help!  Proverbs 18:13 says, If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.  Brian once told me that people tend to already be thinking of what they are going to say before they finish listening to a person.  We are so self centered, that it doesn't matter what the other person has to say, but what WE want to say.  The key in a successful marriage is to LISTEN!!!  You can prevent so much miscommunication if we would just take the time to listen to what our spouse is saying.

4.  Keep Each other Christ focused
Brian and I have learned over and over in our marriage how important it is to stay Christ focused.  Our journey on this earth is not about ourselves but about pointing others to Christ.  2 Corinthians 5:15 says, And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again.  The purpose of our marriage should be to encourage, teach, and help each other stay gospel centered so that we can go out in this world and point others to Jesus.  Brian and I will send each other verses or quotes by text messages to remind ourselves why we are here: to serve Jesus.  Praying, reading the Bible, and discussions about Jesus that can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours helps us to stay rooted in the One who really matters.  

Happy Anniversary my Ernie Wernie.  I pray that God will use our time together here on this earth to point others to Him; for he is all that matters.  Thank you for your love, for your patience, and for your heart.  It is heart over flowing with Christ.  I love you so!




Monday, May 4, 2015

Living an Abundant life in the Spirit

Verse of the Week:

For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man. Which is in him?  Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the spirit of God.  Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God. 1 Corinthians 2:11-12


Living an Abundant Life in the Spirit


I once read a very cool illustration that author/speaker, Dan Stone, would use about one of the ways some people grow in the Lord.  He would pick 4 people to come up to the stand to help him illustrate his point.  One person was God, another person was the human spirit, another person was the soul (our thoughts and feelings), and the last person would be the body.  He would place the human spirit and God side by side.  When we accept Jesus into our hearts, the Holy Spirit comes to live inside our heart, and our spirit and God's spirit join together create a permanent union.  Both begin to function as one unit. Paul even tells the Corinthians, Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst? (1 Corinthians 3:15)

After placing God and the spirit together, Mr. Stone would then place the human soul in front of God and then the human body in front of the soul.  Here is what it would look like:

Mr. Stone then went on to say:


The body faces outward, toward the audience. That is the way God designed it, to receive its input from the external world, through the senses, and to transmit that information back to the soul. God designed the soul to face the spirit, to receive its primary input and direction and life from the spirit.  We are meant to hear God speak. But mankind's fall changed that. Because of the fall, the soul is turned toward the body.  Satan, through the senses, lured the soul to turn from its original purpose, from being an agent of the spirit, to instead being an agent of the body.  That's why the Bible talks about fleshly sins- bodily sins. [...] Until a person knows who he is and is living out of his union with Christ, the soul for the most part remains as it was.  It remains turned outward, receiving its input and direction and trying to receive its life from the pleasures of the body and world.  But it wasn't created to be that way.  This is the Christian growth: the Father/Son/Spirit wooing our soul back from its fascination with the outer (the body and world) to a fascination with the inner (the Spirit/spirit in union). Growing in Christ doesn't mean increasingly getting our act together, but being wooed back. The entirety of our Christian life is the process of our soul turning back to our spirit.


Even Paul told the Galatians to walk by the Spirit, and not the flesh. (Galatians 5:15)

That all sounds great right? I discovered the secret of abundant life: to live by the Spirit of Christ that dwells inside of me. However, here is what had me stumped for years....How in the world are we supposed to hear the spirit?  It is an audible voice?  It is going to flash signs in front of me, telling me where to go?  I wanted to live by the spirit, but didn't have a clue how that happened.  I would just simply do what thousands upon thousands of Christians do their whole lives, read the Bible and learn how to act like Christ based on what the Bible says. (Not that the Bible itself is wrong to read; it is vital to read to have deeper understanding of the things of God, but not when I use it to operate from the flesh.)  If I failed, then I would just clean up my act and try again. It wasn't abundant life, it was a frustrating life.  No matter what I did, I couldn't even begin to imitate Christ because my thoughts and feelings (my soul) were facing the external (the world and body), not my spirit.  I was expecting to imitate a perfect person through my broken body.  It is impossible for something broken to imitate something perfect.  I knew my spirit was perfect once Christ came and healed it, but my body and soul were still the same ole Katrina.  So what changed? I learned what the Spirit is....

Stay with me here....I am going to tell you what the Spirit is.  There have been thousands of moments in my life when my thoughts and feelings start responding to a situation in the wrong way, and I, of course, completely mess up. However, when I think back to that situation, I remember hearing a tiny little voice in my head saying, don't do it or telling me to respond in a different way.  Then I get upset with myself wondering why I didn't listen to that voice.  Sound familiar? Sounds a lot like our conscience right?  Remember in Pinocchio where Jimmy the Cricket sings, "And always let your conscience be your guide!"  That cute little cricket is not far off from what I believe is the most transforming area in the Christian life.  Your conscience is the door to your spirit.  Before you think I am spouting off blasphemy...here me out.

Everyone has a spirit and conscience.  Before a person gets saved, their conscience is based on their own set of moral values.  Their conscience/spirit is just as broken as their bodies and soul.  This is the result of us choosing to rebel against God and do things our way.  Anything people try to do apart from God is brokenness.  However, God sent Jesus to heal our spirit by dying on the cross for our brokenness.  When we believe and accept what Jesus has done for us, Jesus comes to live inside of us...that is the Holy Spirit. Our old spirit is made new with Christ's spirit.  In the end, our old conscience is replaced with a new conscience. I have heard people say that when they got saved, they no longer wanted to sin...where did that desire come from?  Not from our flesh, but from the spirit of Christ living inside of you.  A new set of moral values replace the old set.  New thoughts in our soul replace the old thoughts in our soul when we listen to the spirit.  Read 1 Corinthians 2:11-12 to illustrate my point:

For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man. Which is in him?  Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the spirit of God.  Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God.

The new covenant has changed how we operate.  We no longer operate under the law of the old covenant.  People of the old covenant didn't have Christ's spirit, so they had no choice but to try to follow the law to the core  because they didn't have God's spirit in them to listen to. We now are under the new covenant and operate under the spirit. Unfortunately, because people miss this concept of operating in the spirit, Christians continue to this day to try to follow the law to the core through the flesh. Over 400 years before the new covenant took place, the prophet Ezekiel shared a prophecy of what the new covenant would look like:

Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put my spirit within you and cause you to walk in my statutes and you will be careful to observe my ordinances. (Ezekiel 36:26-27)

We are able to observe God's ordinances when our soul faces our Spirit and not the body. When I live day to day, I am focusing on that little voice inside my spirit.  It gets louder the more I allow my soul to operate in it, and it helps me to daily live life abundantly whether things are going good or bad. It helps me to see who the real Katrina is in Christ...that is I am patient, loving, kind, and forgiving because of Christ's spirit in me. When I am tempted to blow a fuse with my son, Brayden, that small voice in my head tells me to stop and I remember that in Christ I can be patient with Brayden, and I am patient many times because of Jesus. When I blow a fuse with Brayden, I know it is because I was operating apart from the spirit of Christ in me.

When troubles comes, we can definitely tell where our soul is operating from based on our reaction to the problem.  Author, Paul Tripp, once said, 

Trials do not cause us to be what we have not been; rather they reveal what we have been all along.  The harvest the trial produces is the result of the roots already in our hearts.

When a trial comes, are we rooted in the spirit or the flesh? Jeremiah said it perfectly,

But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit. (Jeremiah 17:7-8)

When problems come in life (not "if" but "when"), we have to ask ourselves if our reaction is rooted in Christ.  If we are having a pity party or responding in a way apart from Christ, then it probably means we are looking at the external and not the internal.  When problems come in life, it should make us run more to Jesus, not away. If we look to the spirit, we will experience abundant life no matter what. 

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. (1 Corinthians 4:8-10)

No matter what life throws at us, we are ok because of the spirit of Christ living in us.  When  our soul turns to the spirit, we are able to handle life's trials with the joy that James talks about in James 1. Jesus even talks about how living in His spirit produces abundant life. He says,

If any man is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as scripture said, "From his innermost being shall flow rivers of living water." By this he meant the spirit [...]. (John 7:37-39a)

Water continues to flow out of my spirit and gives me the abundant life that allows Jesus to be seen and glorified to the people of this world. When my soul operates from the spirit it allows me to make decisions Christ would make, view the world through God's eyes, and bring God glory no matter what is happening.

Here is my final thought:

God's goal is to take us from the external to internal, from looking for life in the world, the body, or the soul to experiencing true life in the union of our spirit with God's spirit. -Dan Stone

Resources: Dan Stone and David Gregory "The Rest of the Gospel"
                   Trip and Lane "How People Change"









Friday, April 24, 2015

My Identity in Christ

Verse of the Week:

Therefore, if anyone is IN CHRIST, the NEW CREATION has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17


My Identity in Christ


Here's a story... I was at the end of my rope with Brayden.  It was a tough mommy day in which I felt like I had disciplined non-stop.  While I had managed to be patient and calm throughout it all, I was about to blow a fuse.  "God give me more patience and perseverance!" I cried out. I wanted to be the most patient mom I could be...but my "me" focused prayer didn't work...I blew my fuse. Once again my flesh won.

Another story...I had another incidence, where Brayden was misbehaving in front of people.  As a mom, I was embarrassed and felt that his behavior reflected on my abilities as a parent and what people thought of me. I could just see people saying, "Man, he is really getting out of control. Katrina needs to get a tighter rein on him."  I wanted people to see Katrina as a strong Christian woman who had it together and who was an amazing mom to her two boys.


Another story...Brayden was behaving so well in Sunday school and was a perfect angel. "Yep," I thought to myself,  "Look at my kid and how well he is acting.  We are awesome parents. See everyone!! He is a much better kid than y'all thought!"  My pride had exploded to bigger than the size of Manhattan.

Another story... It was time to deliver another meal to a mother with a newborn.  Yep, it was my opportunity to show people how kind, generous, and loving I was. Maybe the mom would mention my name on facebook by thanking me for the meal and make me look good.

Last story...hang in there with me there is a point to all of this...There has been an incidence once or twice where when I wrote another blog entry and submitted it, I told myself, I was writing for Jesus, but somewhere inside of me my motive was to make myself look good.  I wanted to be an amazing writer with so much wisdom and knowledge to share.  I wanted to look famous...despite the fact that my Blog is titled "It's All about HIM and not me."  My blog was supposed to be for His glory, and here I was thinking of glory for myself.

Believe it or not, these five stories have something significantly in common. It was my identity.  I wanted Katrina to be this amazing Christian, wife, mom, and writer who was considered loving, kind, patient, and generous among her peers and friends. 
What I wanted my identity to be...Super mom!

My identity was based on what people thought of me, myself, and I.  If I failed, which I do and did, then it was a blow to my soul. I was willing to work hard for this identity because it made me feel good and worth something, but, in the end, I was deceiving myself if I thought all this would bring me fulfillment in my life.

We tend to use the world to establish our identity. People want to feel good about themselves and reach to the things around them that will make them feel good.  Some people get their identity from their wealth, job standing, from what people think of them, from the amount of friends they have, from their looks, from whether they are a good parent or not, from their athletic abilities, from their grandchildren, from their successes, or even from their behavior.  We use the things of the world to help us feel good about ourselves, but here is the problem: the things of the world are temporary, broken, and will not last.  Basing your identity on the broken things will only create an even more broken spirit.  That is why basing your identity in Christ is so important.  It is the  ONLY lasting solution.

Lets back up and view this from a gospel perspective.  Christ came to rescue the broken which is everyone in this world.  He is the only one unbroken.  If you ask Him, he will come INTO YOUR HEART and heal you from your brokenness.  God views you through the eyes of Jesus, as unbroken, as righteous, as beautiful, as a masterpiece.  In His eyes, you are clean in an unclean world. 

All that sounds good right? Lets dig a bit deeper though. When you ask Jesus to come into your heart, you are literally asking him INTO YOUR HEART!  Christ's spirit is living inside of you. Don't believe me? Well, lets look at a few of many verses that shows that he does.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through HIS SPIRIT IN YOUR INNNER BEING so that Christ may DWELL IN YOUR HEARTS through faith. (Ephesians 3:16-17 emphasis mine)

When Paul talked to the Corinthians, he said:
Do you not realize that Christ Jesus IS IN YOU? (2 Corinthians 13:5 emphasis mine)

Or my personal favorite:

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ LIVES IN ME. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loves me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20 emphasis)

Knowing that Christ is in you is life changing.  When Christ came into my heart, Katrina's spirit died and was crucified, and now Christ's spirit lives in me.  Yes, my soul (my thoughts, feelings, mind) and body are the same, but my spirit will never be the same because it is Christ's spirit aka the Holy Spirit that lives in me. That is the miracle of salvation.  It changes everything. "How?" you ask.  Here's how:

1. It changes how God views you.
Before Jesus, in God's eyes you were subject to condemnation and eternal punishment for your sins, but because of Christ, you are forgiven, accepted, and loved by God. Romans 8:1 says, Therefore, there is now NO CONDEMNATION  for those who are IN CHRIST JESUS, (emphasis mine)  God used Jesus to rescue you from his eternal judgement, and in His eyes you are a new creation.  You are forgiven, accepted, and loved...NO MATTER WHAT. Romans 8:38-39 clearly states that nothing will separate those from the love of God who have Christ living inside of them.

38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is IN CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD. (emphasis mine)

Who cares what other people think of you.  The God of the universe loves you unconditionally because of your new identity in Christ. No longer do you have to look to facebook to feel good about yourself, how many friends you have, or receive the approval from people.  The unbroken One loves you more than anything broken in this world.

2. It changes how you view yourself.
You realize that In Christ you are all the things Christ was because His spirit is your own.  Sure your body and soul may say different, but your spirit says you are.

You realize that:
In Christ I am patient.
In Christ I am kind.
In Christ I am loving.
In Christ I am a saint.
In Christ I am a masterpiece.

No longer do you look to the world to define who you are.  You know who you are and it can change your behavior.  I am not saying we will never mess up...if we do, it is because we are operating on the flesh and not the spirit (the spirit has changed, the flesh hasn't).  If we focus on our behavior, we are going to mess up, because we are focused on the flesh, but when we focus on who we are in Christ and truly BELIEVE (or have faith) that we are those things, then you see a change come from it. 

I heard a story one time of an experiment that was done on some teachers.  They placed these teachers in a classroom where there were a few low level learners.  However, they told these teachers that these low level learners were advanced high level learners.  Because the teachers believed this, they began treating those children as if they were smart and talented throughout the school year.  When the students saw how their teachers saw them, they became high level learners.  The point of this story is that if the teachers told them they were low level learners like they were, they would have stayed that way, but those teachers told them different so they believed different.  The same with our identity in Christ. Knowledge of who we are in Christ can change our behavior, because we are those things in our spirit.

3. It truly changes you.
2 Corinthians 5:17 talks about how you are a new Creation, and you are! It says, Therefore, if anyone is IN CHRIST, the NEW CREATION has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (emphasis mine)

Your spirit is a brand new creation. It really has changed, folks.  I once asked my dad what changed when he accepted Christ as a teenager.  He told me, "Katrina, I no longer wanted to sin."  Before Christ, people's spirit/conscious was based on what they thought was right and wrong.  They created their own moral standards, but when Christ comes and dwells inside of your spirit, your standards are now Christ's standards.

Even those who are living life opposite of what Jesus lived still have that spirit change.  Author Dan Stone described it like this:

During my early twenties I had a friend in Hopkinsville. He was a saved boy but wasn't practicing it, and I was a lost boy and was practicing it. So he and I would go out together and do the same sinful things. Not long ago we ran into each other and reminisced about that. He said that he has been bothered every night when he went home and went to bed after our outings.  He had done something that he hated. He was remorseful. Not the the point of repentance yet, but remorseful. But I did the same things and it never bothered me. It never punctured my nature, because my nature was saying, "Good for you!" But his nature was saying, "That's not me. That's not me." (From the book, The Rest of the Gospel)

Some people have a spirit change but do not live their lives operating from the spirit and so we do not see any Christ-like change in them, but that doesn't mean that the spirit is not within them telling them to stop.  When people begin to operate from the spirit, wow the change is amazing!

As Jimmy Cricket used to say, "Always let your conscious be your guide."

In this case, "Always let your Spirit be your guide."  Let's operate on our true identity.

Let me conclude with this thought.  Authors Dan Stone and David Gregory once said, "Any Activity that's giving you your identity is an idol."  When we turn to the world and the things in the world to gain acceptance, self worth, and love, you have made that your idol. While it may give you fulfillment temporarily, it will never produce the lasting fulfillment you desire. Basing your identity on Christ leads to a lasting identity because Christ is unbroken and will never fail you. Christ lives the life in you and gives you a brand new identity, and BOY, what an identity it is!




Thursday, March 19, 2015

Broken Toys, Broken World

I am one ambitious Mama. In addition to the title Mama, I am also a surgeon, mechanic, engineer, and contractor. Yep...I sew up dolls, repair cars and trains, replace batteries in less than 30 seconds, build houses out of blocks, and create tents out of blankets and sheets. According to my son, I am the person to go to when he needs something fixed or built. So when my son Brayden entered the room with his broken car track toy, I rolled up my sleeves to get to work, but to my surprise, Brayden said, "No!" And proceeded to try to fix it himself. Ever wonder why people don't hire 2 year olds to fix things? Here's why...notice the before and after....
Brayden's beautiful Car track went from having one broken piece to three broken pieces. As hard as he tried, my precious boy just couldn't fix it. His little hands were like butter, and the pieces kept slipping out of them. After about two minutes of trying, Brayden started to cry like his world had ended, which it probably had since his cars were his number one thing in his life.  A little bit later, with red eyes and a defeated look on his face, I heard the magic words, "Help, pleaaaaasssse!" 

"Sure, Brayden," I responded, and proceeded to do my magic. A few minutes later, Tadaaaaaa.....here is what this amazing mom can do
Ahhhhh..perfect! Am I da bomb or what?!?!? 
Brayden happily took his car track back in his room and continued playing, my head shrunk back to its normal size, and all was right in the world.

Here is the point of this story. Isn't our world like Brayden's toy? Broken....messed up, in need of repair, worthless, a piece of junk because it doesn't work properly.  Ever since the beginning of the world, when mankind rebelled against God, we set ourselves up for alot of heartache. The moment we decided to do things our way, we set ourselves up for disaster, and when we started doing things apart from God's way, the result will always be a broken world. A world full of sin, pain, wickedness, disaster, death, and disease. It results with people with broken hearts. People like to think they can repair the world themselves,  fix their own lives, or find something else to fix it for themselves. Brayden turned to his own skill to fix his car track, but in the end, it only made things worse. People turn to drugs, money, sex, alcohol, spouses, friends, and many other broken things to fix the hole in their hearts. But broken things fixing broken things creates an even more broken thing.  After Brayden realized that nothing he was doing worked and that he was making it worse, he turned to his amazing spectacular supermom (Ok..regular good ole mom) to fix his car track.  People begin to realize the same thing with God. After trying to fix their hearts with the things of the world and failing every time, they hit rock bottom and realize that Jesus is the only way their hearts will be fixed. Jesus takes a broken heart that is worthless and beyond repair and makes it special.

With Jesus, a person whose heart is full of wickedness becomes righteous and holy. Righteous means "right standing with God." Before Jesus, we were unable to have a relationship with a God who so desires to have a relationship with us, because we chose to do things our way, apart from him.  Jesus became the bridge that allows us to be rejoined with God and become righteous. While we still live in a broken body that still messes up, the heart has now been repaired and desires to do things God's way. The heart is made perfect through Jesus. 

People might ask, "Well, Katrina, if Jesus has fixed people's hearts, why doesn't he just go ahead and fix the world? Why doesn't he remove death, disease, pain, and suffering? Is God not capable of doing that?"  My answer is, "Yes, he is capable, and he will restore things to the way they should be someday, but meanwhile, He allows it because it is the only way to draw people to him."  If God fixed everything and healed every person and protected every love one from heartache and suffering, they would never realize that there was a problem in this world and with people's hearts, and people would never see their need for Him. Brokeness helps people see their need for God after we tragically messed up our relationship with Him long ago.

God sent his son, Jesus, who was without sin or wickedness to take away our wickedness. He paid a debt we could not pay and repaired something we could not repair by dying on the cross and defeating death three days later. God has already started fixing this broken world through Jesus. He is repairing the hearts of those who want to be fixed and sadly releases those who don't want their hearts repaired to judgement and eternal seperation from Him...in otherwords hell. God doesn't force people to turn to him..He is too loving to do that...He is not a dictator....he gives us a choice like he did a long time ago when we chose a life without Him. And someday, after giving everyone a chance to get their hearts repaired, He will restore this world to the way it used to be, perfect...just like I did with Brayden's car track. 

Jesus fixes hearts because he loves us. He was willing to die for us so that we can be restored to Him and not spend eternity away from Him. The Bible says, "Greater love hath no man than this: that a man lay down his life for his friends."  (John 15:3) Jesus didn't lay down his life for just a friend, but for every person in this world! What amazing love. All you have to do is ask him to fix your heart. He can and will...

Monday, February 23, 2015

Healing the Broken

Verse of the Week:

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalms 147:3

Healing the Broken



This is a true story of a girl whose heart was black and blue, and God picked up every broken piece and brought her healing.  In a world full of brokenness, Jesus is the only one who can bring healing...


"The Healing of My Heart"


When I was a young girl, my hearing loss never bothered me.  My two siblings and I had been born with it, so it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to be deaf in my family.  As a little girl I remember going to school and playing YMCA sports like any other normal child and participating right along in family events just like my hearing cousins. As a child, I had had many ear infections, which made it hard to develop my speech properly.  I never could hear and learn simple new words like my brother and sister; I seemed to be behind in everything that my brother and sister did.
            I never understood what my parents had to go through to make sure that I would be ok in the real world.  While I thought going to speech therapy three times a week and being taught new words daily at home with my mom was strictly routine, my mom was struggling to make sure that I would be able to function in the world of hearing.  Despite all of mom’s efforts to make sure that I would succeed in public school, my first grade teacher finally said, “You must do something to help this child.  I can’t do anything else to help her.”  After weeks of prayer and thinking, my mom and dad decided to place me in a deaf school, Lamar.  However, instead of helping me, Lamar turned me into this mute child who would not talk to people and caused me to get behind in learning.  I never knew that my parents went to the extremes to get me out of that deaf school.  While teachers and other professionals in the deaf education program criticized my parents, telling them that they were making a huge mistake in taking me out of school, my parents stood firm like a rock and fought for me, believing that I could do better than what some deaf children did.  Doctors told my parents that if I were placed in a hearing school, I would start failing classes by fourth grade.  However, my parents believed that I could do better than what people thought I could do.  Mom took me home and started teaching me on her own knowing that my life would be hard for me in the future. She pushed me hard during those months at home to prepare me for a private school and worked hard to get equipment such as the FM unit so that I could understand my teachers easier.   I never knew about the sleepless nights and the tears she poured out for me while praying to God trying to make sure that she did the right thing.  My dad, the leader of the home, stood by her side being her tower of strength and support and praying along with her for guidance in what to do about their youngest daughter.  I never knew how much my parents sacrificed for me during those early years and how hard they fought for me.
            Perhaps, that is why I never understood why my parents decided to leave their old church and search for a new church that believed in the power of healing.  They would take me and my brother and sister to churches that held healing services in hopes that we would be healed.  I never understood why we read books on miracles and scriptures on healings.  I never worried about anything as a little girl because my life was simple, protected in the arms of my parents… until Jr. High.
            In Jr. High everything changed; innocent children that used to be my friends when I was younger were now struggling to control the changes in their bodies.  Popularity was the thing, and I learned pretty quickly that if you were different than your peers then you were considered weird.  It was during these years that my hearing loss became a huge reality for me.  I was different from the other kids because I could not hear; therefore, I was persecuted and ignored.  When I tried to fit in with groups, I found out that it was impossible for me to do so because I could not hear anything that was being said.  When I talked, kids would make fun of my speech.  I never could do anything that a normal teenager did. I could not talk on the phone to friends; I could not go to movies because I could not hear what was being said.
As high school came things got worse, I could no longer sit with kids at lunch; they would ignore me and make me sit at the end of the table, the loser’s section.  I eventually begin to eat by myself in a classroom because the kids were so cruel. The only haven I had at school was sports, particularly basketball during my freshman year.  However, that was taken away when my coach benched me and I didn’t  play.  I was lonely, and thoughts of suicide consumed my mind. I would often go to the kitchen by myself at night and take a knife and hold it to my stomach wondering what it would be like if I pushed it through my abdomen.
My only place of security was at home where I was loved and accepted.  My parents tried to encourage me and comfort me.  Despite their efforts, my self-esteem dropped so low that one would wonder if I had any self-esteem at all.   I often would cry all night long until no more tears would come. I finally began to realize why my parents had always prayed for my healing.   In desperation, I turned to God and asked him to heal me.  I wanted to hear like any normal teenager and be like any normal teenager, but He never answered, or so I thought.  In 9th grade, I began to talk to one of the teachers, Mrs. Davis about my healing.  I will never forget what Mrs. Davis said,  “You may want your ears to be healed but have you asked God to heal your heart?”  When I went home that day I was angry and confused with what she had said.  What did she mean by the “healing of my heart”?   I was a Christian, and I believed and trusted in God.  In fact God was the only one at the moment who I knew I could rely on.  In fact, it was the encouragement from reading God’s word that kept me from giving up.  I was confused with those words and quickly dismissed them from my mind.  Little did I know that in the future these words would change my life.
After the dark days in high school, my senior year at a new high school and college came, and I was thrilled with the freedom and happiness that came with it.  I was making new friends, learning new things, and becoming a new person.  My parent’s hard work had paid off, and all the things that people said that I would never be able to do, I did.  Then towards the end of my first semester in college another bombshell dropped.  I lost a lot of hearing.  During high school, I had always lost a little bit of hearing and it was like a blow to me each time my world grew quieter, but I would quickly readjust and jump back to normal routine.  This time, however, I did not jump back. As hard as I tried I could not carry a conversation with anyone very well.  I would constantly make an idiot of myself and have people repeat things several times before I got what they said.  I began to avoid people on campus and began to hide back in my little shell.  I began to rely on lip reading and would hope that people would not talk to me.  I could no longer hear music and my own mother’s sweet voice.  My job as a junior high coach became a huge challenge and I found myself struggling to understand my co-workers and athletes.  Whenever people became frustrated with repeating things to me, it was like a blow to my heart.  How was I going to survive in this world if I could not even hear my own friends and family?  I began to get extremely depressed and would cry until my head hurt.  During Christmas holidays when my siblings came home they noticed that my sparkly smile and light from my eyes were gone.  My brother grew concerned when he told me that I did not seem myself, I broke down and cried not knowing what to do anymore.  Everything seemed hopeless.
Again, I began to pray and beg to God for a miracle.  In anguish I would pray to God saying, “Please God, Please heal me!”  No healing came.
One day, I had reached rock bottom.  At work one of my friends had grown very frustrated with me because she had to repeat the same sentence over six times.  In desperation, I went home that evening and sat down on the couch in the living room.  I seeked for comfort from God but none would come. In desperation, I fell from the couch to the floor my body shaking with sobs and my hands clinched against my head.  “God,” I cried, “I can’t do this anymore!  Take me home to heaven, I can’t keep living like this anymore.”  My heart had taken all the beatings it could; it was black and blue. My soul was in turmoil.  Where was hope?  I could not see any.

The next couple of months were hard.  I began to search for the healing of my ears.  I began to talk to my co-workers about healing, but they had no answer.  “Why didn’t God want to heal me?”  Then one evening as I was reading a book called The Case for Faith, I read about a man who had had a congenital neuromuscular disease that leaves a person crippled for life.  When he was asked if he had asked God for a miracle, he said, “As a young Christian, I prayed that God would heal me.  But he didn’t.”  Then he said with unmistakable wonder, “ As I look at my life, God has used this disease in so many remarkable ways to shape me and my personality…as Paul said- his strength was made perfect in weakness.”  After reading, I began to think about Paul in the Bible and how he asked God three times to heal him of a handicap that he had, yet even with his handicap God used it to show His strength and power and help Paul with his life.  I began to thank God for the strength and help he gave me with my handicap, and I understood now why he did not heal me.  God was going to use my handicap for his will and purpose.  Tears of joy streamed down my face as I read through the scriptures that evening,  “I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord.  They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)  It dawned me what Mrs. Davis had been trying to say all along about asking God to heal my heart. I needed to accept my hearing loss as it was and understand that God had a reason for me to have this handicap.  I bowed my head and prayed to God.  “Lord,” I said,  “I may never be healed physically but please heal my heart from the hurt and pain that I have and strengthen me to do your will.  For the first time in a long time,  peace and strength filled my in-most being.  My heart had begun to heal.

       The author of this story grew up to become a teacher for over 9 years and is now happily married, a mom of 2, and loves to write about God's love. This girl is me. God took my broken heart and healed it. God didn't heal me the way I expected. You see, I wanted Him to heal the physical part, but He went much deeper and healed the inner part. God is amazing because he knows how to truly fix things. Take a look at people's hearts. Mankind's hearts are truly messed up, full of wickedness and sin after we rebelled from God long ago; as a result, the world is full of pain, death, and tragedy. People look to God to fix all the problems of the world...fix my marriage, fix my broken body, fix my finances, fix my handicap, fix those who are dying, fix the pain and suffering...and he is, but not in the way we think he should. He fixes and heals heart...that is what truly needs fixing. He sent the one he loved the most to fix our hearts, Jesus. Jesus took all of our sin and pain away and gave us a new heart. All you have to do is ask him for it and he will. Why? Because that is what Jesus does, he heals hearts....He healed mine first from its sin and wickedness and second from the pain and hurt involving my handicap. In a world full of brokenness we can only turn to the one who is unbroken, Jesus. He is in the heart business. He healed mine, and He can heal yours. All you have to do is ask....*

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalms 147:3

*If you want to know more about this topic, please feel free to Facebook me a message at  "Katrina Garrison Arnold."