The Two Kings

Enjoy the story!
Side Note: I put what I wrote on each page below each picture so that the story would be easier to read.   

Once upon a time, there were two kings, King World and King Love.  King World was a mean king; he wanted to do things HIS way.  King Love was a kind king who wanted to love others.

One day the first subject in King World's kingdom asked the king,
"Oh King, what shall I do with this cake? Should I eat it all myself or share it with others?"

"Eat it yourself, YOU deserve to have the WHOLE cake!" said King World

So...The King's first subject ate the whole cake. Yum! Yum!  It was so good!
 BUT...

As anyone knows, eating to much sweets makes your tummy HURT!
"OOOOhhhh!!!!" groaned the King's subject.  "I feel AWFUL!"
He wasn't the only one to feel awful; the other subjects of the kingdom were sad too because they had  had no cake.

Another subject went to King World for advice.
"Oh King," asked the second subject, "What shall I do with these apples? Keep them for myself or use them to feed the hungry?"

King World said, "Why you worked hard to grow that apple tree!  You shouldn't share them with the hungry.  Let the hungry work to find their own food!"

So...the second subject kept his apples, and boy, were they good to eat!!!
BUT...

Because he didn't share with the hungry, the hungry went away to find food in another place, and the subject had NO friends.  "I am lonely! Boo Hoo!"  cried the second subject!

One day another subject came to the King.
"Oh King World," said the third subject, "I really want this car that my friend has.  May I take it for myself?"

"Of course!" said King World, "Please take it!  Whatever your heart desires, TAKE!"

So...the third subject took the car from his friend.  VROOOM! VROOM!  The car was so much fun to play with.  The subject thought he would  be happy forever with his car.
BUT....

After playing with the car for awhile, the subject soon grew tired of it.  Plus there was an even bigger and better car out there that he wished he had.  And...it was also lonely for the subject.  For he had no friend to play with.

Everyone in King World's kingdom were unhappy.  It seemed that the King's advice made them happy at first, but now they were miserable.  I guess doing things for yourself is not much fun after all.  So all the subjects left King World's kingdom and went to look for another king to serve.  After searching high and low, they found.....

King Love!!!!
Once again the subjects went to the king for advice.
The first subject asked, "Oh King Love, what shall I do with this pie? Shall I eat it all myself or share it with others?"

King Love answered, "EVERYTHING in my kingdom is mine, but I share it all with my subjects. Please share for my sake."
So...the subject shared the pie.
AND...

There was no tummy ache this time!  The subjects enjoyed the pie.  More importantly, they felt so loved because the first subject chose to give his pie to them just like King Love had given everything to them.  Never had they felt so loved by their King!

The second subject loved to watch things grow, like his apple tree, but he really loved to watch King Love's flowers grow. One day the subject noticed two sad people in the kingdom.
The subject asked King Love, "Oh King, there are two sad people in your kingdom. Should I ignore them?"

"Oh no, not at all!" replied King Love, "My heart is for the hurting.  I want to cheer them up and let them know how loved they are by me. Why don't you pick some of my flowers and bring it to them.  Maybe that will bring them some comfort."
So...the subject picked the flowers and gave them to the hurt people.
AND...

Never had the hurt people felt so loved by their king.  The flowers served as a reminder that even in their pain, King Love cared and wanted to comfort them.

The third subject had seen how kind King Love had been with the pie and flowers.  He wanted to show the same kindness, but he was struggling.
"Oh King," said the subject, "I want to have that airplane toy so bad.  May I please take it for myself? I think it will make me happy."

King Love gently replied, "Dear subject, did the car you took make you happy?"

"Well," said the subject, "It did for awhile, but I soon grew tired of it."

"Dear one," said King Love, "It is not things like cars and planes that can make you happy, but ME.  My heart is to LOVE.  How do you think you can love this friend with his plane?"

"I can give him back his plane." said the subject
So....the subject did just that and gave the plane back to his friend.
AND...
His friend loved how King Love had helped the subject, so he decided to show kindness as well.  "Lets take turns and share the plane," he said.  So the two friends played with the plane, knowing that it

wasn't the plane that brought them joy, but rather knowing that their King loved them so much. For a plane cannot love a person, but a King can.
AND so...
Everyone in the kingdom was full of joy.  For making King Love the ruler of their hearts was just what they needed.  King Love was so kind, giving, and loving.

You see, King World is a bit like us.  It is about what WE want, and what we want is not necessarily always good for us. But King Love is a lot like Jesus. Jesus is kind,  giving, and loves us so much.  We are all hurting. Our hearts are hurt, but Jesus has a heart for the hurt, and cared so much that He died on the cross to bring healing to our hearts.

Who will you make your King?  YOURSELF? or JESUS?

Like the subjects in King World and King Love's kingdom, we have to choose which King we will serve.  Who will you listen to, yourself or Jesus?

I loved writing this book for my kids because it reflects the battle that mankind has fought since Adam and Eve.  A choice to either serve themselves or serve their creator.  So often humans choose to do things their way (King World's way) because they think it will give them more pleasure, but it often leads to more brokenness, pain, and heartache. Lying, anger, gossip, fornication, murder, jealousy, coveting, etc all result from something that has gone wrong deep inside of us, a desire to serve OURSELVES.   Thankfully, God has provided a way to rescue us from ourselves.  He gives us Jesus (King Love), our ultimate rescuer.  As I heard our pastor say one time, we are often times standing on train tracks about to get hit by at train, and another person comes along and pushes us off the tracks and takes our place.  Sin leads us to more brokenness, more heartache, and ultimately death....not just a physical death but a spiritual death...one that includes eternity without God.  Our sin will result in being hit by a train. Jesus is better because he took the punishment that we deserved and paid for it on the cross.  Jesus is our ultimate treasure, and ANYTHING that is good in this world comes only from Him.  We have this misconception that there is goodness in humans, but there is no good in us.  Romans 7:18 says, "or I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out."  The only good in this world comes from Jesus,  "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." (James 1:17) It is my deepest prayer that you run to Him and make Him your king.  He is the only good thing worth serving. He showers us with continuous grace and love...there is no condemnation or shame because of Him. What a mighty King to serve!


Note to Parents:

Parents, 

I am sharing this so that you may have another resource and idea of how you can point your kids to Jesus. My boys personally had a blast making this book with me.  They got to glue the crowns in the pages, place stickers in the book, and color some pages.  As we were doing each page, it sparked their interest in the book, and they couldn't wait for me to read it to them when it was finished.  

It is now one of my oldest's favorite books.  It has sparked several discussions about the gospel. Even in moments of discipline or correction, I have lovingly referred my children to the characters in this book and encouraged them to choose Jesus' way.   

As Paul Tripp says, "Parenting is not a behavior-control mission; it is a heart-rescue mission." Many parents tend to focus on whether their child is behaving perfectly, doing well in sports, has a lot of friends, etc. Not that all these things are bad in themselves, but our greatest mission is to show them JESUS and allow the Holy Spirit to initiate lasting change. With the help of the Holy Spirit,  Jesus will use our children to bring Himself glory and to advance His Kingdom.  I hope this book will help fuel your calling as a parent.  I am cheering us all on.  Lets keep pointing our kids to Christ!!!

In Christ,

Katrina Arnold

Adventures with Brian

My life is a complete adventure! Why?  Six years ago I said, "I do," to a wonderfully awesome man.  God knew what I needed, and He sent Brian to deal with this stubborn, strong willed, woman with a temper to match her red hair...ok brown hair, but I am positive that the red is hidden inside of the brown roots.  Ever since I met him, there has never been a dull moment. Happy Anniversary, babe.  Here are some lessons I have learned from being married to you:

1.  Make Sure God is in the driver's seat in your marriage.
Ever since we have been married, someone has always been the back seat driver in the car.  ME!  I am positive that we have only stayed alive because of my quick and effective commands that have kept us from a tragic accident.  Coming towards a red light a hundred feet away?   I quickly come to the rescue and shout "STOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPP!" at the top of my lungs.  Need to change lanes in order to make sure we don't miss our turn?  I make sure I inform him in advance...way in advance...ok, about 2 to 3 miles in advance to ensure we don't miss our turn.  Making a left turn into oncoming traffic 50 feet away?  You can be sure I will GASSSSSSPPPPPP and panic for a brief moment  because I was positive the car was about to hit us. Through it all, Brian stays calm and rolls his eyes.  Yep, don't know how he would survive without me. I am his hero.

Seriously though, how many times do we think we know how to run our marriage better than God?  We become back seat drivers, barking out orders because we think we know better than the creator of the world...or worse, we kick Jesus out of the driver's seat and take over. We try to do it ourselves, in our own strength and mess things up.  Ever since the fall of man, when we decided to do thing our way instead of God's way, we have created a world full of pain, tragedy, and strife.  So why do we think we can run our marriage apart from Christ? It says in John 15:5, I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.  When we remain in Christ, we can bear much fruit for Him in our marriage and our lives, but the moment we do not remain in Him, the thorns come.  Unforgiveness, selfishness, and anger begin to reign, leaving the marriage in shambles. Apart from Him, we can do nothing. When God is TRULY FIRST in a marriage, it is a successful marriage because if we remain in Him, we will do the things that Jesus does and exhibit the traits of Christ such as patience, kindness, forgiveness, self control.  All important in a successful marriage.

2.  Get rid of any snakes that can hurt your marriage.

Brian and I love animals.  So when we saw a HUGE rattlesnake about 25 feet long...ok 5 feet long, but 25 feet sounds better...we oooooohed and awwwed as we watched it slither across the dirt road  and under our car.   After the initial excitement weared off, we realized we had a problem.  The snake is UNDER OUR CAR!!!!  Panic begins to set in as the snake takes an interest in our engine. Slowly it begins to slither up into our engine from underneath the car.  Now we have a HUGE problem!  There is a snake inside of our car's hood!  Brian and I debated on opening the hood of the car to get him out,, but scratched that idea for fear the snake would pop out like a vampire and bite our arms with it's deadly fangs.  We are out in the wild in a parking lot with a few other people around...what are we going to do?!?!  Perhaps if we drive the car around the snake would decide to slither out of the hot engine.  So around and around Brian goes in the car around the parking lot, while everyone else and I were crouched down looking under the car to see if the snake had come out.  No such luck...hope was fading....  

Then it happened!  Our knights in shining armors showed up...two rough big muscled men with tattoos etched all over their bodies, bandannas tied around their heads and dressed in cutoff shirts charging forth in their beat up old pick up truck with a long metal stick in hand. They were ready to do war with the monster. One guy got ready to open the the hood of our car and the other had his metal staff in hand ready to attack! WHAM!  The hood opened at the speed of light and the other guy began pounding at the snake in the car.  BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM...the guy kept beating on the snake.  Brian and I cringed...how do you kindly stop a guy who is trying to kill a venomous snake and politely say that YOU ARE BEATING UP OUR ENGINE too!  BOOM BOOM BOOM!!!  Would we even have an engine left when he was done battling?  Brian whispered to me, "How are we going to get home?" Eventually the guy lifted the dead snake up with the stick and thew him out of the car, unaware of the direction he threw him out...straight at Brian.  Brian ducked just in time before the snake almost hit him in the head.  It was over...we hoped.  We still needed to see if the engine worked. Brian and I held our breaths as Brian turned the keys....VROOOOOMMM....the car started.  We would make it out of the wild after all!  For the rest of the trip, Brian and I always looked under the car before we got in to make sure no monster with sharp fangs was ready to grab at our legs.

You know, there are some things in our marriage that seem harmless at first...just like watching the snake slither across the parking lot.  It wasn't bringing us harm, but eventually, these things can climb in our engine and cause us a lot of problems, eventually destroying a marriage. Things like technology, socializing with friends, and jobs can seem perfectly harmless, but if over done, they can rob us of something important: time with our spouse.  Be aware of snakes. The devil would love to devour our marriages because a marriage is suppose to reflect Christ's union to the church.  Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8.  

3.  Communication is key.

I have a knack for wanting to talk to Brian who is in a different room right when I want to say something.  "Honnnneyyy!" I might shout, "Do you know where my shoes are?"  Then I wait expectantly for Brian to answer.  For those of you that know me, that is the dumbest thing I can do. Why?  I have a hearing loss, and talking to a person in another room is virtually impossible.  For awhile at the beginning of our marriage, Brian would dumbly answer in response to my question over and over until after about five times of me saying, "What?" he realized that I was never going to get what he said.  To make things worse, I have at times asked a question with my processor off (my processor helps me hear...without it I am profoundly deaf).  Then I realize that I can't hear anything and go off to find my hubby.  

You have probably heard the saying, "You have two ears and one mouth, which one are you supposed to use more?"  In my case, I have two eyes and one mouth...which one should I use more?  My eyes of course!!!  Reading lips sure can help!  Proverbs 18:13 says, If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.  Brian once told me that people tend to already be thinking of what they are going to say before they finish listening to a person.  We are so self centered, that it doesn't matter what the other person has to say, but what WE want to say.  The key in a successful marriage is to LISTEN!!!  You can prevent so much miscommunication if we would just take the time to listen to what our spouse is saying.

4.  Keep Each other Christ focused

Brian and I have learned over and over in our marriage how important it is to stay Christ focused.  Our journey on this earth is not about ourselves but about pointing others to Christ.  2 Corinthians 5:15 says, And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again.  The purpose of our marriage should be to encourage, teach, and help each other stay gospel centered so that we can go out in this world and point others to Jesus.  Brian and I will send each other verses or quotes by text messages to remind ourselves why we are here: to serve Jesus.  Praying, reading the Bible, and discussions about Jesus that can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours helps us to stay rooted in the One who really matters.  

Happy Anniversary my Ernie Wernie.  I pray that God will use our time together here on this earth to point others to Him; for he is all that matters.  Thank you for your love, for your patience, and for your heart.  It is heart over flowing with Christ.  I love you so!

Teaching your Child about Christ Feels like Rocket Science!

Verse of the Week:

Place these words on your hearts. Get them deep inside you. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder. Teach them to your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning until you fall into bed at night. Inscribe them on the doorposts and gates of your cities so that you’ll live a long time, and your children with you, on the soil that God promised to give your ancestors for as long as there is a sky over the Earth. Deuteronomy 11:18-21

Teaching your Child about Christ Feels Like Rocket Science!!!

Overwhelmed, scared, burdened, and unsure were the feelings I felt when I thought of having to teach my children about Jesus.  The pressure to make sure my children received Christ was overwhelming. What if I messed up? What if Brayden and Carson didn't ever know Jesus?  Salvation is the most important choice they would ever make.  How could I make sure that happened?  How do I even start with teaching them about Christ?  There is so much for them to learn, and I don't even know how to go about it. These are some of the thoughts that have entered my mind when I think about Brayden and Carson's spiritual upbringing. I think perhaps that every parent who loves the Lord feels this way at some point.  There is no greater desire in me than for my children to love Jesus.  

However, I realized three things: 

First, I am not God and I can't make my children love Jesus. 
I am the LORD, and there is no other; apart from me there is no God. (Isaiah 45:5)

Second, I have to just trust in the Lord and place both boys in His hands.  
Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. (John 14:1)

Third, when I do talk about Jesus with Brayden and Carson, I need to remember that God will help me. 
For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13)

When I realized those things, I felt a weight begin to lift from my shoulders. I realized that I could make it fun and enjoy sharing my passion for Jesus with my boys.  Just like a dad may have a love for football and wants to teach his son about football or a Mom has a passion for arts and crafts and wants to teach her girls arts and crafts, the same concept applies when sharing Christ.  Christ is my passion, and therefore, my goal is to share that passion with Brayden and Carson.  I know I am not God and that I can't force my boys to love Christ, but I can share with them my love for Christ and show them by example Christ's love for them.  Just like a dad hopes his son will love football and a mom hopes her girls will love art, I hope that Brayden and Carson will come to love Jesus the same way I do.

"So how in the world do I start?" I asked myself.  That was the challenge for me: how to start sharing. I think many parents like me struggle with how to talk to their kids about Jesus.  So I just wanted to share some tips and ideas from my current journey to any parents that are struggling the same way I was.

1.  Talk about Jesus in the middle of your daily activities.
It was hard at first for me to do this because I thought I would feel like an idiot when I tried to talk to Brayden about Jesus, but my first attempt came about when Brayden was excitedly looking at the moon one morning.  I said, "You know who made the moon Brayden?  God did.  Just like Mama makes cookies and muffins, God made the moon."  Brayden looked at me excitedly and pointed up to the moon again.  Seeing him excited, helped me get out of my shell and start talking to him more about God on a daily basis.  I would constantly ask Brayden what God made, and he would point to the moon.  After that I would share with him other things God made like the trees, grass, turtles, etc.  

Another example of sharing Jesus with Brayden during our daily activities happened when we were watching "Spookly the Square Pumpkin" on TV. The other pumpkins were making fun of Spookly because he was square and not round.  I took the time to explain to Brayden that Jesus would want us to treat others nice and that those pumpkins were not being nice.  Brayden looked at me with a quizzical look in his eyes as if he was in deep thought over what I said.  

However,it is important to note that not every time I talk to Brayden about God does he act excited about it. Sometimes it seems like he is completely ignoring me; however, I keep trying because I believe that he is listening more than I realize.  So parents, take heart if your kid doesn't seem interested, keep trying anyway. :)  

2.  Read Books
Reading about Jesus in story books is a great way to teach any child about Christ.  One of my personal favorites that I read to Brayden is called "God Loves You."  It talks about four major concepts: God made you, God loves you, God takes care of you, God sent his son Jesus to save you from your sins.  I though at first that these concepts would be too hard for Brayden to understand at 2 years old, but to my surprise, it is one of his favorite books.  We have also read the Christmas story over and over despite the fact that it isn't Christmas, but he is still hearing about Jesus. Find books that your child loves and read those books over and over. Now that Brayden is getting older, I plan to start reading from a Children's Bible to him.  He is getting it for Christmas so shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! :)

Brayden's Christmas present and favorite story book.

3.  Do Art projects

Brayden and I recently did a very fun art project together and made Brayden a Jesus Book.

Hard at work making his book!

Each day we would work on one page for the book.  I allowed Brayden to color, glue, and put stickers in his book.  While we created each page, I explained to him the concept we were learning on that page.  The explanation probably only took 30 seconds to a minute to share, but for a 2 year old, that is enough.  I then laminated and hole punched each page and then tied the book together. After we completed the book, we now go back and read it constantly, and Brayden loves reading something he made.

Pages in Jesus Book

Allow your child to make the pages himself. It doesn't have to look perfect!

4. Pray Pray Pray!
God says to pray without ceasing for a reason.  We need God's guidance as parents on a daily basis.  Ask God to reveal to you moments you can share Him with your child. Pray for your child to know Jesus.  Cover your child with blankets of prayer.

5.  Don't expect every attempt to share Jesus go go perfect.
To be honest, there were times when things were a disaster when I tried to teach Brayden about Jesus. For instance, when Brayden and I made the Jesus book, there were a couple of times when he was misbehaving and received timeout for dropping crayons on the floor and throwing a tantrum.  There have been times when Brayden hasn't wanted to read his Jesus book, or listen to me talk about Jesus, but that is ok.  Just keep trying and know who holds your child in the palm of His hand.

Place these words on your hearts. Get them deep inside you. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder. Teach them to your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning until you fall into bed at night. Inscribe them on the doorposts and gates of your cities so that you’ll live a long time, and your children with you, on the soil that God promised to give your ancestors for as long as there is a sky over the Earth. (Deuteronomy 11:18-21)

My Theory in Raising our Beautiful Boy

Verse of the Week:

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

My Theory in Raising our Beautiful Boy

Ok, lets all face it.  While the Bible has many wonderful concepts on how to raise children, it doesn't exactly give step by step guidelines in the child rearing. I have concluded that the missing book in the Bible is 1 Katrinalonians (written by me of course!).  In it I would have all the step by step verses on many things related to child rearing.  For example, some particular verses I would create would involve how to keep a straight face at a smiling one year old caught in the act.  A person would look up 1 Katrinalonians 3:2-5, and it would say the following:

2 Thou shalt not smile when your child is caught disobeying.  3 Think negative thoughts while starring at the adorable smiling face and a frown will go well with you. 4 Exercise self control with your mouth muscles to keep your frown intact. 5 A man who coughs and turns his head to hide his grin is wiser than a foolish man who grins and leads his child to more disobedience.

Yep...that is my next calling, write the next book of the bible, 1 Katrinalonians. :)

However, on a serious note, I could not raise Brayden without the Bible.  While the Bible doesn't necessarily give step by step guidelines in child raising, it does provide a wealth of information you can use while going through the amazing journey of parenthood. Many of my theories and ideas of child rearing are based solely on the Bible.  Lately I have been clinging to Romans 12:12.  It says, "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

1. Be joyful in hope

When I looked at several versions of the Bible, I found that joyful could also be replaced with rejoice, glad, and happy. A lot of people in my family know that I tend to look at the glass half empty at times.  In the middle of a hard day of disciplining or perhaps a sleepless night with a teething baby or even after a week of taking care of a sick child, it can be hard to look at the bright side of things.  With Brayden, I tend to look at his emotions in a negative light.  He has a hard time controlling his anger....mmmm....I wonder where he got that from.  Oh yeah, me!!!!!!  Seeing that side of him makes me despair at times because I do not want him reacting to things the way his Mama has done in the past, but due to genetics, I don't think I am getting out of this one. :)  

However, I receive renewed hope when I take the time to see how wonderful his emotions have been.  We have a very tenderhearted boy.  Already at 21 months Brayden has displayed such sensitivity and love toward others.  I loved seeing him the other day staring at me, and then out of the blue, he ran over and gave me a hug.  I knew immediately what he was doing because I was seeing something his Mama used to do. Growing up, I would just be looking at my parents and feel this as I used to call it, "over come with love feeling" for them, and I just had to go and give them a hug to express it.  Seeing him express such love is beautiful.  I love watching him with children, and sharing!!!  No, not taking, but constantly sharing his toys with others.  What a selfless act.  Brayden is my helper and loves to help me out.  He especially loves helping me with the groceries.  A few weeks back, I had to go outside and finish unloading groceries out of the car.  When I returned inside, this is what I saw.

Yep, the lettuce and Pam spray put carefully away in the wrong spot!!!  However, it was so sweet to see him try so hard to help his Mama out and display a servant's heart.  The other day, I saw him gently petting a cat and kissing it, and to my surprise, the cat didn't run away!  He is so good and sweet with animals.  Brayden's emotions can be so beautiful, and I need to rejoice and place my hope in the good things he does out of his tender heart. 

Sometimes we focus so much on the negative that we overlook a wealth of positives. For example, oftentimes when we look at a photograph we tend to complain that our smile doesn't look right or that our eyes are closed, and because of those things, the picture is ruined.  Whereas, if we would look past the flawed part and look at the whole picture like the amazing mountain view or sunset, we would see something beautiful and be richly blessed.  Don't focus on the negative only with your child, rejoice and thank God for the beauty that you see in them.  It is so important to look at the positives because you don't want your child growing up thinking that you are disappointed in them because you can only see the negative things they do.  Look at the whole picture and rejoice in the good.

2. Patient in Affliction
Other versions of the Bible use the words suffering and tribulation in place of affliction.  Patience in the midst of a trial is such a hard thing to display.  Often times I imagine myself as an amazing mom who exercises patience with Brayden in every situation.  I respond in a calm voice,  no traces of anger are displayed, and I think calmly and logically through each situation. I imagine myself as the person below...

Yep that's me...calm, cool, and collected in the midst of affliction. When in reality I probably look like this...

Yep, that looks more like me!
On a serious note though, I have found that when I exercise patience with Brayden in a situation, I tend to think clearer and make better decisions.  Brayden tends to respond to me better when I am calm, and on the days that he doesn't respond to my calmness, I still find myself less frustrated. Yep, patience is a necessity.

3. Faithful in prayer
Other Bible translations have replaced faithful with constant and steadfast.  I have found that continuous prayer is a must in parenthood.  Prayer calms me down; prayer takes the focus off of the situation and focuses on God; prayer allows me to see things through God's eyes; and prayer allows me to depend on God and become more aware and attentive of what He reveals to me. It was prayer that led me to see Romans 12:12 in a new light as a parent, and that verse has become part of my heart as I try to approach life daily with Brayden.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.  Romans 12:12  

Adventures in Disciplining a Toddler

Verse of the Week:

Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives. Proverbs 19:18

Adventures in Disciplining a Toddler

Tears were streaming down my face for the second time that week. I was having another Mama meltdown. I have always heard of the terrible twos, but I didn't think that it was that terrible. NIGHTMARE seemed like the better description. I had just spent part of the day disciplining, disciplining, and disciplining! I was saying things similar to this,   "Do not push the buttons on the dishwasher, do not pull down the blinds, don't put the plastic flute down the drain, do not stand on the chair, kleenex is to actually stay in the box, and for the fifty gazillionth time, do not take the dvds out of the tv stand!"    After barking out orders, Brayden looks at me with his mischevious grin, and does it anyway. Lets just say the grin doesn't last long after Sergeant Mama administers her consequences. Then five minutes later he would go after it again. To top it off, there seemed to be a temper tantrum around every corner.  Would the day ever end? 

You know you are raising a toddler when....
1. Everything must be touched.
2. They smile at the word no
3. You sound like a broken record when trying to get them to do something
4. Their scream stops everyone but you mid way in their tracks
5. Their cuteness keeps you from throwing them across the room

Thank goodness these days are not everyday, but when they come, I begin to wonder where I went wrong with my boy, and begin to have a pity party for the next hour! I start to wonder if the disciplining is even worth it, but according to Proverbs 19:18, it is SO WORTH IT! King Solomon wrote, "Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives." I discipline Brayden because I want to prepare him for the future. I want him to know how to display proper behavior in kindergarden, how to share, how to listen to authority, and how to manage his emotions. Ultimately, I want him to grow up to be a blessing to society and to be a light for Jesus. I discipline him because I love him. I hate the process of disciplining, because I have never liked conflict, but I do it because I love Brayden. 

Even though I have those days where I feel like disciplining is getting no where, it is the good days that I receive renewed hope that it is all worth it. Days when I see Brayden asking me permission to go someplace or touch something; days when I see Brayden putting the kleneex back in the box because he knows they aren't supposed to be out; days when I see him reaching for the blinds and dvds, but decides not to touch them; and days when he wants to get upset but controls his emotions are what encourages me to stay strong and keep trying. Don't give up parents! Keep disciplining because you love your children and you want what is best for them. 

Train a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

A Lasting Heritage

Verse of the Week:

5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. (Deuteronomy 6:5-7)

A Lasting Heritage

I can remember seeing these beautiful vineyards on a drive up through Northern California.  The lush vines with ripe juicy grapes hanging from the limbs was breathtaking.  I wished Brian and I could have stopped at one of them so that I could just walk through the endless rows of green and purple or lay under the shade of the plants and rest in the beautiful sanctuary.

 Lately I have had the opportunity to study how the Jewish people tended their vineyards during the days when they entered the promise land. Jewish families did not own acres upon acres of land to grow their crops; apparently they created terraces. Each terrace was owned by one Jewish family.    Even though the soil was rocky, it was incredibly fertile and allowed them to grow grapes, figs, and olives.

Vineyard Terrace

Each Jewish family owned a row or terrace

While the Israelites were not responsible for making each plant produce fruit, they were responsible for creating an environment in which would allow plants to prosper and produce much fruit.  One of their main jobs was to keep the stone walls in repair.  They built strong stone walls because it was the only way to keep the rich fertile topsoil from blowing away from a strong wind or washing away from a heavy rainstorm. Once the topsoil escaped, it was gone forever. 

 Many  of these terrace vineyards with the stone walls have been around since the days of Joshua and the plants are still producing figs, grapes, and olives today.  Wow!  It got me to thinking on how well Jewish families taught their children generation after generation on how to take care of the walls and nurture the soil so that their crops would still produce. What a lasting heritage.****

I started thinking about my own children.  What kind of heritage do I want to leave them with?  I once again began studying Jewish tradition in the Old Testament and found this:

5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. (Deuteronomy 6:5-7)

I love the words the Israelites were told to impress on their own hearts and the hearts of their children, "to love God." The lasting heritage that I want to give my children is not a vineyard, money, or some fancy heirloom but a deep love for Jesus. A love that they can pass down to their children, to their grandchildren and great grandchildren.  

I know I cannot make my boys love Jesus; just like the Israelites could not make their plants produce fruit.  But I can create an environment that will give them the opportunity to learn to love Jesus.  I can build high stone walls and tend the rich fertile soil, and, eventually, with much loving care, I pray that an abundance of fruit will began to grow from the vines and branches.  I pray that I am able to show my two boys God's loving grace, and that through His grace, they grow to love Jesus.  I pray that I will let Christ orchestrate my life in a way that my children will see nothing but Jesus inside of me, and eventually they desire to have what I have.

Sweet Jesus, may you build a strong stone walls in our home.

What lasting heritage do you want to pass down? 

****Jewish history of Terraced Vineyards was found in Ray Vander Lann's DVD "With All Your Heart"

It Does Not Take a Church to Raise a Godly Child

Verse of the Week:

14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? 15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.  James 2:14-17

It Does Not Take a Church to Raise a Godly Child

I remember hearing someone say, "It takes a village to raise a child."  In other words, everyone in society contributes to the well being, care, and raising of a family's child.  Many families not only believe that it takes a village to raise a child, but that it also takes a Church to raise a godly child.

Many parents are dependent upon the church to teach their children about Christ.  Once a week for an hour, they bring their child to Sunday School to listen to their youth pastor talk to them about Jesus, and then spend another hour in the pew listening to their Pastor preach.  For many families, those two hours in church is all their children ever hear about the Lord.  Is going to church enough for our children?  I am not saying the church isn't without it benefits, but is the church the most effective way to show our children Christ's love?

Suppose I get a brand new sewing machine (boy do I love sewing!).  I am so excited about it, and can't wait to start doing all sorts of craft projects on it.  I open up the instruction manual to  figure out how to get it to work.  The manual shows me what each button is for, how to put the thread in, how to use the pedal, and many other things I need to know in how to operate a sewing machine.  But then something happens...  When I try to do what the manual says, it doesn't work on the sewing machine.  The thread won't  go through, the pedal is broken, and the buttons do not do what the manual says they will do.  I get frustrated, and end up taking the machine back to the store.  I abandon it. 

Just as I abandoned the sewing machine, because it doesn't do what the manual says it does, some children abandon their faith because what they hear in church is not shown in their home. They go to church and hear about Christ's love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness, but at home their parents show them the opposite.  They hear one thing for an a couple of hours a week, but have a hard time believing it, because it is not shown in their own homes.  So they abandon their faith believing it to not work.

The key to teaching our children about Jesus does not lie in church attendance, but in the parents.  According to a survey given to Protestant youth, the most influential person in a teenager's life is not their youth pastor, but their Mom.  Dad follows Mom in a close second.  Out of all the influences out there for teens such as friends, siblings, relatives, youth pastors, television, radio, celebrities, teacher, coaches, retreats, and even the Bible, the parents are at the top of the list. *

Some parents may talk the talk but not walk the walk.  James 2:14-17 says, 14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? 15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

To many teenagers, their parent's faith is dead.  Their parent's faith is not reflected in their actions. They say one thing but do the other.  Their life style does not reflect their love for God.

In Mark Holmen's book, Faith Begins at Home, he talks about a  man who asked a group of parents at a conference an important question:

 "How many of you wish your teenager had a stronger faith?" 

Every hand in the room went up. He then made a comment that I'll never forget.  He said, "While it's good that everyone desires that our teenagers have a stronger faith, the truth is that what we see in our teenagers' faith is a mirror image of our own faith.  So, the issue is not their faith, but your own faith." 

I can still remember seeing the reaction of my one year old between two scenarios between Brian and I.  In one scenario, Brian and I were both having a disagreement, and sadly enough my temper got the better of me, and I yelled.  When I looked over at Brayden, it broke my heart; he was looking at me with a quizzical brow. Why was mom acting this way?  In another scenario, Brian and I had been joking with each other and gave each other a hug and kiss. When I looked over at Brayden, he was beaming and smiling at us.  He liked what he saw.  Our one year old is way smarter than we realize, and in reflecting back to those scenarios, I realized which one I wanted to display to him on a daily basis, the scenario filled with love.  I want him to grow up in a home where we display Christ's love in our actions.

One time a friend and I were talking about our upbringing and parents. She brought up a good point, "Katrina, I never took my mom's advice seriously because she never took her own advice."  Why should kids love the Lord, if their own parents don't.  Parents need to fix their own hearts first before changing their child's heart.

When I say change our hearts, I do not mean start getting wrapped up in a bunch of do's and do not's and obey God because you have too. When we accept Christ into our lives, a heart changing experience take place inside of us.  No longer do we desire the things of the world, but the things of God. When we realize Christ's love for us, we can't help but love others.  We do the right thing, not because we are commanded to do it, but because we are willing to do it.  1 Peter 5:2 says, "Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers- NOT BECAUSE YOU MUST, but BECAUSE YOU ARE WILLING, as God wants you to be. (emphasis mine)

Christ's love is shown through people (1 John 4:12).  Parent's have the best chance to show Christ's love to their children. Church and no other outside influence can take their place. 

Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it. -Proverbs 22:6

It doesn't take a village to raise a child or a church to raise a godly child....it takes a parent.

*Information found in-Faith Begins at Home, by Mark Holeman

Something for Singles!

Verse of the Week:

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalms 27:14

Something for Singles

Samson finished hanging up the phone.  He has just asked the girl of his dreams out.  After starring at the phone for a whole hour, he finally got the nerve to call her. He asked her out for a dinner and movie Friday night.  She said that she wasn't available that night, but maybe another time. Samson decided to call again next week and see if she wanted to go to the Church picnic with him.  However, when he called, she didn't answer the phone; instead, it went to her voice mail.  Samson left a message and asked her to call him back when she got a chance. One day went by, and no phone call.  "She is probably just busy and hasn't had a chance to return my call," Samson concluded.  Two days went by, then three.  "Maybe she forgot." Samson thought.  After a week of no calls, Samson analyzed the situation, "She might not be interested in me, or maybe she is just shy.  Perhaps I should call and make sure she isn't really interested."  So, he called again.  This time she answered and gave him a resounding NO!  Poor Samson.

Lisa came home from her college English class, frustrated.  She had seen the guy of her dreams in class that day.  He seemed interested in her, but yet after several weeks, he still hadn't asked her out.  She had made sure she talked to him every time they had class together, tried to sit by him during the lecture, and made effort to be available in the hallway for him to talk too after class.  Still, he hadn't asked her out.  "Surely he is interested in me," she analyzed, "After all, he smiles at me every time I see him; he teases me; and I have even caught him starring at me across the room.  I know he teases other girls, but he teases me differently.  He must be shy; that is why he doesn't ask me out.  Maybe he just doesn't know how to approach me yet.  Maybe he is scared because he knows I am the one, and doesn't know how to respond!"  Lisa continued to analyze the situation for the rest of the day.

Emily just went through a horrible breakup.  After 2 years of dating, she hadn't seen it coming until she found out from him last week that he was having an affair.  "What is wrong with me?" she asked, "Why did he leave me for another woman?"

Any of these situations sound familiar?  Lets face it, life as a single person is HARD.  The task of trying to find "the one" seems overwhelming, and the frustrations of going from relationship to relationship leaves a person hopeless and hurt.  Guys seem to be rejected more than they are accepted when they ask girls out, and girls seem to be beside themselves hoping a certain guy will take notice of her.  "What is wrong with me?" many singles ask, "Why can't I find the one?"  The process of WAITING seems torturous, and the older a person gets the more they question if they are destined to get married at all.

I was single for several years until I got married when I was 26.  While it was a difficult time in my life, it was also an amazing time as well.  I want to share some things I learned as a single person to encourage other singles out there...

1.  WAIT ON THE LORD
"Wait?  Did you say wait?"  I know what you are thinking,  "I have already waited 4 plus years and you are telling me to wait more!  Thanks for the advice, Katrina!"  Waiting on the Lord has to be the hardest thing to do.  Ever notice that God seems to work slowwwwwwlllly most of the time.  It drives me nuts.  In our fast pace society where we want everything immediately, waiting seems to be foreign to most of us.  Seriously, though, wait on the Lord.  He has your best interests in mind.  Don't try to take things in your hands to speed up the process.  Whenever we try to do things our way, it usually ends up in a disaster.  I have a sweet friend, who was single for a long time after going through a hard divorce.  She was lonely, and wanted to have someone in her life.  Not able to wait, she ended up marrying a man that she wasn't sure about, but because she was desperate for companionship, she jumped into it.  Many of the issues she was initially unsure about became big issues, and she is now in a very tough relationship.  She once admitted to me, "Katrina, I wish I had waited on God and not taken things into my own hands." She is still married and trying to make the best of the situation, but my heart breaks for her.

Unknown to most people, I had the opportunity to get married before I met Brian; the guy had planned to propose to me that summer.  However, I had many uncertainties about the relationship.  I could have chosen to jump into it despite my uncertainties, but I chose to wait on the Lord and seek His direction.  After several months of prayer and turmoil about what to do, I ended up breaking up with him.  It was hard to do, but afterwards, I felt a peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).  I knew I needed to wait on God and seek His direction.  Whether His direction led me to a life of singleness or led me to a life with a man, He knew what was best, and I trusted Him.

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalms 27:14

Be strong and take heart, God has plans way better than your own initial plans.

2.  CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE TOWARD POTENTIAL MATES
Here is something major I learned about potential mates when I was single.  Read and re read this sentence over and over until it is imprinted in your mind: I want for potential mates to have the girl/guy God wants for them, and if it isn't me, then GREAT; if it is me, then GREAT too! Here is what I used to pray about with potential guys.  "Lord, if this if the man you want for me, then make it clear for both of us, but if not, then I pray that you find a wonderful woman for him."  I firmly believed that even though I may have liked the guy, if he wasn't the one, then that was ok.  I was ok with it.  Most of the time, when we are rejected, we take it personally instead of realizing that "I" may not be what is best for that person and vice versa. 

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalms 37:4 Delight in God and the plans He has for you.  Desire His plans. It makes a huge difference.  Before I realized this, I would wallow in self pity when I was rejected and pout.  "I want him!  Why couldn't he have been mine?"  I would analyze the situation and wonder,  "What is wrong with me?"  The truth is that nothing was wrong with me; it was just that we were wrong for each other; and what a blessing to find that out instead of entering into a miserable relationship. I wanted whomever God wanted, that is if He wanted me to have anyone at all.  His plans were best, and I delighted in them.

3. TRUST IN THE LORD
Ok, folks...Here is an important question. Who do you trust more...yourself or God? Do you trust the person who is always messing up and creating problems for him/herself OR do you trust the person who is perfect, who created the world, who cares so much for your well being that he prepared a place of escape from the fiery depths of hell? During the time that my sister was single, she would cling to the following verse: Let go of your concerns. Then you will know that I am God. I rule the nations. I rule the earth. (Psalm 46:10) Let go of your concerns about finding someone and just trust in God. He really does have your best interests in mind!

4. USE THIS TIME TO SERVE GOD WHOLEHEARTEDLY
I am not saying that when you are married that you won't still serve God.  In fact, I believe that marriage should be one in which each spouse helps the other to grow closer in their relationship with God.  However, Paul did bring up a good point when he shared that when you are single your attention is not divided and you can focus completely on the Lord.  Here is what he said: 

I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world--how he can please his wife-- and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--how she can please her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:32-34)

I will be honest, since I have been married, I have found it hard to have my one on one quiet time with the Lord; my attention is divided, especially now that we have a sweet son.  Instead of having quiet times with the Lord in the mornings, I am up and about trying to get my husband's lunch ready for work, feed my son breakfast, change his diaper, and get his clothes on for the day.  After that I keep finding stuff to do, and before I know it, the day has ended and I find myself crawling into bed without having that one on one time.   Enjoy having this time to spend with the Lord, making Him your beloved and you His beloved.  As much as I love being married, I miss that.

I have a friend who is single, and she is a blessing to so many people.  She is constantly helping out with the youth at church, helping families when they need her to watch their kids, getting involved in activities such as rebuilding homes for people, bring meals to the sick, giving new Mamas time to sleep as she watches their newborn babies and children, giving people rides from place to place, being a second mom too her niece and nephew, taking pictures in her photography business, and bringing joy to people's lives.  She is constantly on the go.  If she had been married, she would not have been able to do all the things she does because her time and energy would be spent on her family. God has plans for her, and she is able to serve him wholeheartedly because she is single. What a blessing she is to others! Take this time to enjoy serving God with all your heart, because eventually, it will be hard to do so with a spouse.

5.  ALLOW GOD TO  USE THIS TIME MOLD AND SHAPE YOU
I am so glad that things happen in God's timing if we allow him to do so.  If Brian and I had met even a year or two sooner than we did, we would not have been ready for each other.  Brian at the time had a "wild side" to him that this girl would not have approved of, and I was so insecure and lacked confidence in myself, that Brian would have ignored me.  God used that time to instill a strong desire in Brian to grow in Him, and He used that time to help me to firmly establish my identity in Christ. God can use this time to mold and shape you into the person that will first, bring Him glory and second, prepare you for your future spouse (if that is indeed what he has planned for you.).

Yet you, Lord, are our Father.
    We are the clay, you are the potter;
    we are all the work of your hand. (Is 64:8)

Allow Christ who lives inside of your heart (that is if you have recieved Him into your heart) to mold and shape your mind to reflect His heart/mind.  He is the potter and you are the clay!

6.  CHERISH EACH MOMENT
I have found that life flies by.  I remember there being a time when I couldn't wait to grow up!  I was tired of being a child.  My mom would tell me, enjoy being a kid, because you will never get to be one again.  Life has flown by, and I am now 30.  I remember a time when I thought I would never get married, because it was taking forever, but then in a flash, I have been married  for several years and now have a sweet son.  My time as a single person was great, but I wish I had cherished it more.  I am learning to cherish each stage of my life.  I am now cherishing each moment with Brian and cherishing every stage of growth with our son.  Enjoy the time as a single person, there is a good chance that you may not ever get it back once you get married.

As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blowsover it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.(Psalms 103:15-16)

7. BE CONTENT 
This is the hardest thing.  We spend our lives thinking, "If I can graduate high school then I will be happy.  If I can graduate college, things will be better.  If I can get married, life will be amazing.  If I can have children, then I will be happy.  If I can retire, life will be bliss."  We are constantly looking towards the future to find contentment.  The secret to contentment is not to look to the future, but to Christ.  Paul discovered the secret to contentment: 

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:11-13

Look to Christ for strength not the future.  I was asked this one time and it has helped me so much then and now:  "Katrina, if you aren't content as a single person, what makes you think you will be content as a married person?" Here is another hard question, "What if you never get married?"  I am not saying you will never get married, God places those desires in our hearts for a reason, but the reality is that not everyone gets married.  Here is the point: I realized then and even now, that contentment doesn't come from situations (like marriage) but from Christ.  As a single person, there could have been a chance that I might not have ever gotten married.  Was I going to spend the rest of my life miserable because I wasn't married, or was I going to embrace my life with Christ and serve him wholeheartedly? Find contentment by relying on Christ's strength.

Hang in there, singles!  God knows the plans he has for you, and they are AWESOME (Jeremiah 29:11)! He loves you and knows the desires of your heart.  Rest in Him.