Things I have learned from being married to Brian!

Verse of the Week:

Matthew 19:4-6 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'  and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?  So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

Things I have learned from being married to Brian!

My husband's and my fourth anniversary is coming up in two more weeks.  It has been an amazing journey with him, and I wouldn't trade my time with Brian for the world.  I was taking the time to reflect on the things we have learned the past four years as a married couple, and here is what we have learned.

1.  You can't change your spouse, but you can work on yourself!
Brian and I have plenty of flaws that drive each other nuts! For instance, Brian cannot stand my chewing.  Because I have a hearing loss, I have never really heard my smacking and chewing when I eat food.  However, I have been informed many times by my sweetheart that it is LOUD!  He may be in the living room playing on the computer or reading a book, when his worst nightmare comes to pass when his wife shows up into the room with a bowl of cereal.  chomp chomp Chomp CHOMP CHOMP....It crawls up Brian's skin!  As a result, I get a few dirty looks from him!

I get driven nuts whenever Brian falls asleep on the recliner at bedtime.  Why? Trying to get him to get up and just walk 10 feet to the bed is like trying to tell a rock to get up and take itself across the mountain.  I will spend over 30 minutes trying to reason with a guy who is half asleep about why I would like him to get up and go to bed.  "Brian, lets go to bed," I would say.  He would look up at me with these glazed eyes and say, "OK," and then immediately would close his eyes again to resume sleeping!  The process kept repeating itself, until, it escalated into an argument.  Ever tried arguing with a sleeping person?  Many times, I have ended up getting water from the sink and dumping it on his head.  Boy does that wake him up!

Here is the point I am trying to make, we have both learned that we can not change our spouse, but because we love each other so much, we will work on ourselves.  I am constantly working on remembering to chew with my mouth closed; while Brian has miraculously gotten up off the recliner the first time I asked him!  Brian tries to control the dirty looks he gives me when I accidentally chomp too loud, and I have refrained from dumping water all over his head (I give him a warning first!).  We try to do things that will make our marriage better, not worse.  Instead of being selfish by expecting your own spouse to change, be selfless and put your spouse first and change what you can do to help your marriage grow stronger.

Philipians 2:3 says:
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 

2. Let bygones be bygones
There is not room for bitterness or holding grudges in a marriage, it will eat up your marriage!  Brian and I do argue, but one thing I do not recall in our arguments is bringing up the past things that we have done to each other.  If we do bring up the past, we do it when we are concerned about something and need to discuss it with each other.  We NEVER use past problems or hurts to lash back at the other person in anger.  If anything, we have learned to laugh at some of the things we have done in the past.  For instance, one memory that we laugh at all the time happened when I was pregnant.  A quick warning for those of you that don't know me; my temper can get the better of me when I have pregnancy hormones raging through my body.  In this particular instance, Brian and I were getting ready for church.  I went into the bathroom with my baby belly bouncing in front of me, when I noticed that Brian was still in the shower.  For some crazy reason, I thought we were going to be late for church, and my pregnancy hormones started to invade my mind.  I told Brian to get out of the shower NOW and that we were going to be late for church.  When he failed to comply, I litterly screamed at him at the top of my lungs, "Get out of the SHOWWWWWWEERRRR!!!!"  Then I reached in the shower and turned off the shower myself and started stomping my foot on the floor several times pulling off a temper tantrum.  Ever seen an adult in a temper tantrum, particularly a pregnant one?  It's not a pretty sight!  Brian, still covered in soap, just stared at me with his mouth  wide open.  Poor guy!  By the way, we made it to church on time despite the fact that I WASTED time trying to get him out of the shower.  The whole point of this story is that, Brian could use this story against me when we argue saying that I have anger problems and how awful I am, but instead, he lets bygones be bygones, and we laugh together at this story all the time.  We forgive each other and move on.  We never let bitterness take root.

Ephesians 4:31-32 says: 
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

3. If you have a problem with your spouse, tell your spouse, not your parents, friends, dog, or siblings!
Your spouse is the other part of YOU!  You guys are ONE!  Matthew 19:4-6 says, "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'  and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ?  So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." To speak bad about your spouse to other people is to speak bad about yourself! You will only bring strife to your marriage when you complain about your spouse to others.  If you have a problem with your spouse, talk about it with your spouse. Sometimes it is not easy, and the other person may not be too happy about discussing the problem, but if possible, keep the problem between the two of you. I know I have slipped up at times and said something bad about Brian to friends, but I go right around and tell Brian what I had said, and apologize.  I try my best to brag about Brian because he needs to be uplifted, not beaten down.

4.  Communication....is it there?
I remember at the beginning of our marriage, Brian and I had to discuss a big issue, our finances.  Before we got married, we both had different ways of dealing with our finances in which we both thought our way was the best way.  I remember as we started discussing it, that I was so defensive and was against anything Brian suggested.  I ignored what he had to say, and tried to make my case on why MY WAY was better.  Brian started doing the same thing, trying to explain why his way was better too.  Eventually, Brian and I  could tell we were getting no where; Brian pointed out that we had to find a way not to interrupt each other and listen.  So I did the most random thing.  I went into the kitchen and found a banana....yes, a banana!  I lifted up the banana and stated, "Whoever is holding this banana has permission to talk, the other must listen."  I am sure Brian was thinking, "I have to hold a banana to talk to my wife?"  I am sure Brian was going to go bananas listening to me talk!  Well, believe it or not, the technique worked GREAT!  I started truly listening to what Brian said and understood that he had a lot of good things to say about finances, budgeting, and saving and vice versa.  Together, we came up with a way to budget our money and save, but the banana forced me to listen to him and made him to listen to me as well.  Listening to what the other says in a marriage is so important.  Often times, people are already trying to come up with a response to something while a person is still talking, and, as a result, they miss out on what the person is truly saying.  God gave us two ears and one mouth, I guess that meant he wanted us to listen more than talk!  James 1:19 says, "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry"


5.  Make Christ the Center.
If I had to describe Christ, the first couple of words that comes to mind is love, sacrifice, and service.  Love your spouse with Christ's love.  I am so blessed to have a man that loves me with Christ's love.  After a hard day at work, he displays a servant's heart and will sacrifice his time to do dishes for me.  He will willingly change Brayden's diaper in the evenings knowing that I am sick and tired of changing Brayden's diaper all day long.  When I am sick, he will take care of me.  When I am sad, he puts his arms around me and gives me a hug.  He reminds me of Christ, because Christ lives inside of him.  I am blessed!

In 2 more weeks, it will have been four years since we have said, "I do," and have become ONE in Christ.  Thank you Lord for Brian.  Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart!  I love you so much!!!

**I will not be doing a blog entry next week since I will be celebrating my 30th birthday and my 4 year anniversary with my sweet husband and son.  Check back on my site in a couple more weeks!

What is the Purpose of the Law?

Verse of the Week:

Romans 6:14 "For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace."

What is the Purpose of the Law?

Everyone is a slave to something.  A lot of people have the misconception that they can conquer anything, that nothing in this world has any power over them.   Having trouble losing weight? You can conquer it!  Addicted to alcohol?  You have the power within yourself to defeat your addiction!  Trouble with porn? You have the ability to overcome it! But the truth and reality is that we are all slaves to something.  In fact the Bible talks about us being slaves to two things, sin or righteousness. Romans 6:16 says,  "Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?"  Prior to grace, everyone was a slave to sin, whether we liked it or not.  No matter how hard we try, we just can't overcome, defeat, or conquer sin ourselves. I remember driving myself nuts trying to conquer sin in my own strength. I would think that after months of working on it, I had mastered the command of not worrying, when the very next day something would happen and I would go right back and do exactly what I thought I had conquered.  I would work on my anger problems, just when I thought I had self control with my anger, someone would say something that hit a raw nerve in my body and I would lash out in anger.  I couldn't ever imagine not forgiving someone, after all, God forgave everyone; then someone would do something that hurt so bad and I would  swim in a sea of bitterness and hate.  I desperately wanted to be a slave to righteousness, but it was impossible for me to stop sinning.  God even gave the Jews a chance to defeat sin and become righteous by giving them laws to follow.  Do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that, the list goes on and on to the point that God gave the Jews 613 laws to follow! Perfectionism could only be obtained if they followed ALL 613 laws. Thank goodness for GRACE!!!  Because of Jesus, we are no longer slaves to sin but righteousness.  Jesus himself lived under the law and followed it to the core. Through his death and resurrection we now have a life of freedom from sin.  Romans 6:14 says, "For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace."

So why do we keep being slaves to sin?  Why do we always go back to the law? The law does nothing but make us feel like a failure. Dr. Andrew Farely in his book The Naked Gospel points out:

Being under the law is like being in prison.  You're constantly reminded that you're guilty and awaiting your sentence.  The law doesn't encourage us, nor does it build us up.  With its perfect standard, it only tears down our pride.  It shows us that we'll never succeed." Refer to Galatians 3:23-24

 People say that once we are saved, we are free from the ceremonial laws of the Old Testament, but the moral laws still need to be followed as guidelines for the Christian life.  Therefore even though our intentions are pure and we just want some guidelines to follow, we go right back to being slaves to sin because we keep trying to follow the law to become righteous (when in fact righteousness comes from faith in Jesus, not  by following the law). Tithe 10%, do not covet, do not have other idols, do not lust, do not be jealous, do not lie, honor your parents, do not worry, do not get angry, do not commit adultery, do forgive, and the list keeps going on and on.  If there is something we struggle with, we try so hard to conquer it only to be disappointed that we couldn't overcome it.  Here is where we mess up, we keep putting the law back into our lives because we think it is what we need to be Christ-like and go right back to being slaves to sin.  Here is what James says about the law and following it.   For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. (James 2:10)  James is talking about the whole law, not just the moral law. I believe he is including ceremonial law as well.   That means if we have eaten bacon for breakfast, we have broken the law (Leviticus 11:2b)!  If we have not brought a goat in its first year as an offering for unintentional sins, we have broken the law (Numbers 15:27). If a women doesn't isolate herself during her menstrual cycle for 7 days, she has broken the law (Leviticus 15:17-20). If you work on the Sabbath  you should be put to death (Numbers 15:32-33).  For those of you that insist I am going overboard and that James is only talking about the moral law, consider what Paul himself said, "Mark my words!  I, Paul, tell you that if you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all.  Again I declare to every man who lets himself be circumcised that he is obligated to obey the whole law." (Galatians 5:2-3) Circumcision was another law to be followed, and Paul was simply saying that if you are going to follow one law, then you are obligated to follow all of it!

Thank goodness for grace, and that through Christ we are free from the written code of the law. He has enabled us to be ministers of his new covenant. This is a covenant not of written laws, but of the Spirit. The old written covenant ends in death; but under the new covenant, the Spirit gives life. (2 Corinthians 3:6). 

So if through faith in Christ we are free from the law, then WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THE LAW? 

The law is a beautiful thing because it helps non-Christians to know that they need a Savior. It is designed to guide or lead people to Christ.  People are always saying that they are good enough to get to heaven.   You will catch many non-Christians saying, "I am a good person, and have done a lot of good in my life.  I deserve to go to heaven."  The law however is designed to quiet such sayings. Romans 3:19-20 says, "19 Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be silenced and the whole world held accountable to God. 20 Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin."  The law points to us that we are sinners.  

I am not saying the law is all bad. The law is good because it was made for the unbelievers and points them to Christ.  1 Timothy 1:8-9 says, 8 Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, 9 understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers,  

So if the law no longer plays a part in the Christian's life then what standard and guidelines should Christians follow since they no longer follow the law? When you accept Jesus as your personal Savior, you receive a new Spirit.  "so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit." (Galatians 3:14b)  The spirit of God dwells within us (Romans 8:8-9).  We are changed inwardly and you begin to see some of the good works come out of our lives because of that change.  Andre van der Merwe in his book, Grace the Forbidden Gospel ,points out:

" [...]  under the New Covenant God changed our hearts, and when our hearts are changed, the good works will automatically follow."

Some of the fruits of the Spirit that is now in a Christian's spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.  Apart from these there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23).  

I am not saying that because of grace we now have the license to sin, but our focus should not be on our sin or the law but rather on Christ.  His spirit is displayed in us. When we truly understand grace and the freedom we receive from the law and when we grasp God's amazing love in it all, we can't help but want to display the fruits of the Spirit.  Will we display the fruits of the spirit perfectly?  No, not all the time, but that is the beauty of Grace, we are no longer bound by the law but are forgiven and loved by God anyway!  He no longer condemns us but is pleased with us.  "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit." (Romans 8:1)

Thank you, Lord, that through Grace I am now a slave to righteousness and not sin.  Jesus paid it all, and in Him I am declared righteous!

For more information on this topic, read my blog entry entitled, Christian Behavior.

Do You Realize How Blessed You Are?

Verse of the Week:

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17)

Do You Realize How Blessed You Are?

I absolutely love spending time with my in-laws.  My father-in-law in particular is a funny guy that makes people laugh all the time. You never know what is going to come out of his mouth. His crazy sense of humor, keeps everyone smiling and laughing. However, in the midst of all the humor, he will also surprise us with some very serious profound thoughts that are whirling around in that head of his.  I was talking with him one afternoon, when he said something that got me to thinking.  He said, "Suppose whatever you thank God for today is what you would receive tomorrow."  Or to put it this way, whatever you forget to thank God for, you won't receive tomorrow. Now I know that if I forget to thank God on stuff that He is not going to automatically take it away, but it got me to thinking about how there is so much more for me to be thankful for than I ever realized.   I decided to try out this thought process and began to thank God for things in my life with the idea that if I didn't thank Him for it, then it would not be there tomorrow.

So I started with the obvious.  Thank you, Lord, for Jesus, Brian (my husband), and Brayden (my little boy).  I then proceeded to thank him for food, shelter, clothing, and money to buy the things we need. 

 I had started with the basic stuff you always hear, but somewhere along the way I began to get specific.  Thank you Lord, for the toilet that actually works, a sink to do dishes, for running water, electricity, for carpet on the floor, a soft bed.  Thank you for legs that can run, for arms that can carry my son, and for fingers to hold a pen.  Thank you for pens, pencils, paper, and photos. Thank you for trees, flowers, soil, lady bugs, bees, and birds that chirp. Thank you for ears to hear with, hands to feel with,  eyes to see the beauty around me.  Thank you for sunlight, the air I breathe, and for clouds in the sky.  Thank you for Brayden's pacifier, for his milk bottle, for a healthy baby boy, for his toys, and for his laughter.  Thank you for a car to take us around town and to beautiful places far away.  Thank you for yummy vegetables from our garden. Thank you for air conditioning, heaters, blankets, and towels.  Thank you for razors, soap, washcloths, and a tub to keep myself clean.  Thank you for white blood cells that work to keep my body healthy, for a strong beating heart, and organs that function. Thank you for family, friends, laughter, and conversation.  Thank you Lord, for you faithfulness, love, and grace. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you....

I realized that I couldn't even begin to thank Him for all that I had, but I learned one thing.  I am EXTREMELY BLESSED!  There are so many good things in life that I take for granted.  Every good thing in this world comes from God...

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17)

Sometimes we get so caught up with negative thoughts, problems, and worries that we forget all the good things that God has given us.

Do you realize how blessed you are?

Mountains out of Molehills

Verse of the Week:

1 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Mountains out of Molehills

Fear....it seems to sneak up on people all the time. Recently, I discovered that I have a couple of lumps on my leg.  My first reaction to those lumps is the possibility of cancer. At first I was just concerned about the lumps, but then dark thoughts began to invade my mind.  What if I get cancer? What if I have to suffer while fighting for my life? What if I die?  I will be leaving behind Brian and my sweet baby boy.  I want so bad to see Brayden grow up and to grow old with my husband. I feel like I would be robbed of my life!  The fear began to creep up on me and grew bigger and bigger and bigger.  Eventually, these little tiny molehills that I was concerned about became mountains of FEAR! You see, sometimes our fears/problems start off "small," and then Satan likes to put a little tiny seed of doubt or concern into our thoughts and then allow it to grow to the point that the concern is now this huge fear/problem. Here is a story I heard one time:

Once upon a time there was a small village nestled in a beautiful valley below a huge mountain.  The people of the village were happy and content on their farms raising their own food for their families.  However, no one ever left the tiny village, because up in the huge mountain was a horrifying, ugly, dark mean monster with massive claws and sharp fangs.  The villagers had heard that He could chomp you into half in one bite!  His roar was so loud that it shook the mountain and made the people in the village tremble.  No one dared to try to face this monster and kill him.  Therefore, no one climbed the mountain.  However, one day, a brave young man wanted to go up to the mountain and fight this horrifying, ugly, dark mean monster.  He was tired of not being able to explore other areas beyond the mountain.  Therefore, he recruited 12 other men to go with him on the quest to fight this monster.  They began to climb the mountain with their weapons.  About a quarter up the mountain, they heard a loud roar that pierced their ears and made the earth tremble like an earthquake. Fearing for their lives, 6 of the men fled back down the mountain.  However, 7 of them bravely continued on their journey up to the top. When the men reached about half way up the mountain, they began to see the giant shadow of the monster with his sharp piercing fangs and large claws.  Once again, they heard  a loud roar!  Fearing for their lives, 6 more men fled down the mountain, leaving only one man to face the gruesome monster.  The brave man continued up the mountain.  As he got closer, the roar of the monster no longer seemed as loud.  In fact the earth did not tremble over the noise.  The man continued to climb.  As he got closer, the shadow of the monster began to shrink and the sharp piercing teeth began to look rather small.  The man continued to creep closer and closer to the monster. The closer he got, the smaller the shadow got and the quieter his roar was.  Eventually, when he arrived to the cave, the shadow was the size of a little bug and the loud roar sounded like a squeaky little  mouse.  The man entered the cave and saw a tiny little monster.  He picked up the monster with his hand and asked, "Sir, what is your name?" The tiny little monster responded with a squeak, "Fear."

You see the monster wasn't near as big as people in the village thought.  However, when we focus on our fears, we begin to view our problems and concerns like those people in the village, a huge monster.  The villagers allows fear to grip them so much that they were unable to face their problems.  Satan loves to use fear as a way to steal our joy and peace.  1 Peter 5:8 says,

Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

But God doesn't give us a spirit of fear.  We have Christ's spirit inside of us which is full of power, love, and sound judgement.  1 Timothy 1:7 says,

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

1 Peter 5:8 says, "Resist him [the devil], standing firm in the FAITH..." (emphasis mine) 

Faith is the complete opposite of fear.  Faith in Christ includes trust, confidence, hope, which in turn allows us to have peace and joy. When we focus on Christ, our fears and problems look so much smaller.  Someone very close to me once said, "Don't tell God how big your problem is, tell your problem how big your God is!"  We have a big God who can take care of every fear and problem we face.

Once I stopped focusing on the lumps on my leg and remembered who holds me in the palm of my hand, my fears began to fade and was replaced with peace.  Keep your eyes on Christ.  Look at your fears/problems through His eyes.  It will change your perspective.  If you focus on Christ, your problem becomes a molehill, but when you focus on your problem it can become a mountain.

Christian Behavior

Verse of the Week:

I am the vine; you are the branches.  If a man remains in me [Christ] and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:5)

Christian Behavior

"Lord, I am rededicating my life to you!  I love you and want to serve you so much. Help me to do things that are pleasing to you, for that is my desire.  In Jesus' Name we pray, AMEN!"

Does that prayer sound familiar?  I have prayed countless prayers in the past rededicating my life to Christ.  I would mess up.  I started to slack off on praying; my Bible got stuck in the bookshelf for several weeks; I didn't do anything to help out people; or maybe I started doing things that were wrong and would get stuck in a rut.  Then I would have that ah ha moment   somewhere whether it was at church, from reading the Bible, or talking to someone. The ah ha moment would lead me to wanting so bad to please God, that I would  once again start over.  "Please Lord, I want to serve you with all my heart and love you the way you want me to love you."

I would keep trying, trying, trying, trying, trying....doing, doing, doing, and then messing up, messing up, messing up.   Failure seems to occur left and right.  I remember people saying, it is ok if you mess up, just try again.  So I would try again, mess up again.  The cycle seemed endless.

Notice the word I kept putting down, I, I, I, I.....I try, I started, I didn't, I would, I want, I do.....I by myself kept doing it all.  Sure, I would say, I am doing things with Christ's help, but even though I said that, I didn't grasp the concept that apart from Christ, I can do NOTHING!  Christ himself even admitted that apart from his Father (God), he can do nothing.

"I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me." (John 8:28b)

Our Family pastor at church put it this way.  He was holding a water bottle in his hand, and said, "Pretend this bottle represents Christ, His new spirit inside of you, grace, love, forgiveness, etc.   When we become Christians, we get so excited about that water bottle.  We are pumped and ready to serve Christ!"  Then the pastor started to get ready to go and walk forward as if he was about to start his new walk with Christ.  He starts walking, and does something strange, he drops the water bottle and continues to walk forward.  He left the water bottle behind!  He said, that is what we do so much in our own Christian lives.  We start trying to go out and do things for Christ, but we leave Christ behind!

We leave Christ (the water bottle), behind when we try to continue our Christian walk!

Christ says that apart from Him we can do nothing.

I am the vine; you are the branches.  If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:5)

We work so hard to bear fruit for God all by ourselves and can never do it, but if we remain in Christ, we bear much fruit.

Behavior in the Christian life does matter!  I know in past blogs I have said we are free from the law of the Old  Covenant and no longer have to follow the law,  but that doesn't mean we go out and start sinning (Romans 6:1).  But people who believe that we are under the law, try so hard to follow the law to please God.  In the end they end up disappointed. You see, in the new Covenant of Grace, Christ lives inside of you and through Him we bear fruit for Him. The knowledge of grace in Christ Jesus changes our behavior.  Steve McVey in his workbook, The Grace Walk Experience, puts it this way,

I'm not minimizing the place of Christian service or the importance of behavior.  I'm simply suggesting that in the modern church we often have it backward.  We think, "If I can just behave in a certain way, if I can just do certain things, then I could become godly.  Then I could become Christlike."  That is the legalistic mind-set.  The Bible teaches that when we know we are Christlike because of what He has done in us and through us, the knowledge of that truth is what will change our behavior.

Knowledge of who we are in Christ, changes our behavior, not the other way around.  For instance, I heard a friend tell me a story one time about how some children lived in the slums of New York surrounded by gangs, drugs, sex, and violence.  When you live in an environment like that, and your parents are involved in activities like that, then you tend to get involved in activities like that. Your identity is centered on what your family says and does.  However, in this one instance, these children's parents told their kids that they were princes and princesses that they were valuable and worth so much.  These kids grew up graduating high school, going to college, and having a good career and sweet families.  Why?  Because of how they viewed themselves.  They were told how valuable they were, so their behavior changed and they made choices that showed others that their lives mattered.  

When we see who we are in Christ and truly comprehend the meaning of grace and Christ's love for us, we see how valuable we are, and our behavior changes.  We try so hard to make ourselves acceptable in God's eyes by doing good, when God has already accepted us.  Romans 5:8 says, 

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

God didn't accept us as perfect people, but while we were still sinners.  So why are we trying so hard to perfect our behavior to be acceptable to God when he has already accepted us?

We try so hard to live out our Christian lives in our own flesh, that we fail miserably. Flesh as oppose to what people think is not just things like drunkenness  adultery, envy, slander, murder, etc. Flesh can look good too.  Flesh can be defined as doing things in our own strength.  Flesh can be self sufficient.  You try to live out your life in your own abilities.  Paul himself talks about not putting confidence in our own flesh (Philipians 3:3-6). 

Instead of putting confidence in our flesh and trying to do things in our own strength, lets look to Christ.  Lets trust in Him, not our flesh.  Let the spirit of Christ guide us in all truth. John 16:13 says, 

But when he, the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you in all truth.

Renew mind and fill yourself with Christ (Romans 12:2).  Remember your identity in Christ and that changes your behavior.  In Christ we are righteous and holy (Eph 4:24).  In Christ, we are  unconditionally loving (2 Timothy 1:7).  In Christ, I am accepted and acceptable (Romans 15:7).  In Christ, I am worthy (Ps. 139:14).  In Christ, I am a saint (Eph. 1:1).
In Christ, I am a forgiving person (Col. 3:13).

When I go through life, I try to ask God to help me know what to do in a situation, and then I listen.  Have you ever had something inside tell you, "Don't do it!" or "Do this!" and then, like me you, ignore it and mess things up?  I truly believe that voice is God. I have asked God to make his voice inside of me louder than than the voice of my flesh.  So many times I respond to situations with my emotions, but I have found that when God's voice is louder, I stop doing what it is that my own flesh wants to do.  It sure does make my life and the lives of people around me richer!  I try to renew my mind in Christ and focus on his Grace and goodness. More importantly I TRUST in Christ, and it changes my behavior and thinking.

Behavior matters.  Are you trying to change it, or are you allowing Christ to change it?

Stronger for His Kingdom

Verse of the Week: 

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.  1 Peter 4:12-13

Stronger for His Kingdom

I had just checked our beautiful garden that was growing. The tomato plant was getting thick and bushy with yellow blooms on them.  Tiny green peppers and white blooms were poking out of our red bell pepper plant.  Strong stems were holding up the large leaves of our squash plants.  Our cucumbers, which had a rough start, were finally growing.  I was so excited. This was Brian's and my first real garden!  It was gorgeous, and I delighted in seeing God's creation grow.  Then the dreaded thing happened that no gardener wants to happen to their plants.  A hail storm hit!  Hail beat down on the plants, ripping leaves apart, breaking branches and stems.  The wind blew apart our tomato plant nearly uprooting the the giant bush.  Brian and I were so sad to see the once prosperous garden nearly destroyed in less than 10 minutes.  

Beaten down, but not destroyed

After checking our garden, we went home with heavy hearts until I remembered something in the past.  I remember such a storm hitting my parents garden one year, and those stubborn plants made their way back up and began thriving.  In fact they did so well that we had one of the best crops ever that year.  I remembered back to my little garden that I was growing in small pots.   A hail storm once again nearly destroyed my pepper plant leaving only one leaf on it, and that broken plant came back to produce many peppers for Brian and I that summer.  Hope begin to come back, if those plants could survive such tragedies, then our garden could over come this one.

Isn't our lives just like those plants?  There are times when life is going well, and then a storm hits, tearing us apart nearly destroying us. We are beaten, hit, and broken apart. Why doesn't God protect us from such events?  Why does he allow such bad things to happen?  

I was teaching a small group of children at Vacation Bible School when I asked them this question, "Does God promise to ALWAYS protect us?"  A lot of them looked at me saying, "Yes he does protect us!"  While others shook their heads saying, "No he doesn't always protect us!"  The kids began to debate back an forth on the question. We all talked about how bad things do happen, but some of the kids thought that bad things only happen to bad people.  I had to explain to them that it wasn't so.  I told them that God does love us and does protect us at times in our lives.  There are beautiful verses in the Bible that praise God for His protection.  However, car wreaks, health problems, hurt, and pain still happen to people both good and bad.  I had to explain something that people misunderstand all the time.  People think that once they become a Christian nothing bad can happen to them, but the reality is that bad things still do happen.  Jesus himself says that we will have troubles: 

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)

Here is the catch, while we still have problems, and tragedies strike, Jesus is still in charge, and all things are under his authority or feet (1 Corinthians 15:27).  However, bad things still happen because we live in a fallen world.  The moment Adam and Eve ate the fruit off of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, the world changed; people's heart changed; and the knowledge of sin came into the world.   God still allows mankind to make their own decisions even if they are bad ones.  As a result, bad things still happen.  Here is the most important thing that I told those sweet kids, even if God doesn't promise to ALWAYS protect us, he does promise one thing, and that is to be with us when we go through bad times.  Jesus himself said in Matthew 28:20, "Lo I am with you always, even unto the end of the world."  God doesn't promise to take our problems away, but he does promise to be with us when we go through them.

So what happens when a storm comes?  Just like those plants, with God's help, we can come through it stronger.  God uses storms in our lives to mold and shape us into the people He wants us to be, an image of Himself.  He uses storms to teach us about trust, patience, endurance, self control, kindness, forgiveness, and many other traits that represent our Savior.  He uses storms to bring Himself glory, and to teach us to depend on him.  Peter says in 1 Peter 4:12-13:

12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

Growing Stronger

God reveals his glory even in the darkest of storms. Thank you Lord for storms in our lives.  Just as my garden plants will recover and grow stronger producing many fruit on their branches, may we grow and produce more fruit for your kingdom. To You be all the glory!

Studying the Bible through the Lens of Grace

Verse of the Week:

For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace. (Romans 6:14)

Studying the Bible through the Lens of Grace

There have been times when studying the Bible has brought a lot of frustration in my life.  One part of the Bible would say one thing, and then in another part it would say the opposite.  Why are there so many contradictions in the Bible?  To just mention a few of those contradictions... In one area of the Bible it talks about an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth (Exodus 21:24); in other words, whatever someone does to you, you do back, but in another area of the Bible Jesus talks about forgiveness and turning the other cheek (Luke 6:29). In one area of the Bible it talks about how God will show you kindness ONLY if you repent (2 Chronicles 7:14), yet in another passage it says that God will show you kindness FIRST and that the kindness He gives causes you to repent (Romans 2:4). There are even more contradictions in the Bible than what was just mentioned. 

For the past few months, I have been studying the Bible through the lens of Grace.  This is hard to share because I know that people who, like me, have been taught something all their lives will think what I am saying is blasphemous,  but I ask that you keep an open mind, look at your Bible, and read for yourself the things that I share with you.  I have tried really hard use the verses in the correct context to back up all that I am saying.  I hope this will spark discussion among you and your family and friends as we all strive to understand our Lord better. I only want to share what the Bible says, period.

There are two vital questions the past few days that I have learned are critical in understanding the Bible (Source: Unlock your Bible, by Steve McVey): 
1. Is this passage part of the Old Covenant or New Covenant?
2. Who is the author talking to in this passage?

Most people shut down whenever they even hear the word, "Covenant" just like a computer shuts down if you pour water on it!  I was one of them, and for years I would ignore the teaching of the Old and New Covenant, but I have found that it is vital in understanding the Bible.

First off, a covenant is similar to a contract.  You do your part, and the other person does their part.  It can also be described like a will someone writes for when they pass away.  If you ever change your will, it makes the previous will you wrote outdated and obsolete.  The same thing with the Old and New Covenant of the Bible.  The Old Covenant is in the Old Testament, and can no longer be used because the New Covenant, which is the New Testament has taken its place. The Bible even describes it this way:

By calling this covenant "new," He has made the first one obsolete, and what is obsolete and aging will soon disappear. (Hebrews 8:13)

Unfortunately many people try to read the whole Bible by combining Old and New Covenant together, causing so much frustration and confusion. They think the Old Covenant is supposed to be applied to our daily lives even though we are now under a New Covenant. 

You have to ask yourself, who the Old Covenant was written to?  Some people say it was written to everyone in this world,  but fortunately it isn't true. Steve McVey points out something very critical in his book, Unlock Your Bible:

The entire Bible is written FOR you, but not all of it is written TO you.

While, we can learn so many things from the Old Covenant, you will find it was written to the Jews/Israelites.  In fact the whole Old Testament was written TO the Jews.  Leviticus 26:46 says, 

These are the decrees, the laws and the regulations that the Lord established at Mount Sinai between himself and the Israelites through Moses.  

The Old Covenant is based on Laws and rules to follow. God made an agreement with Israel, that if they would keep his laws, he would bless them; if not, then He would curse them (Deuteronomy 28, Exodus 19:5-8).  

According to the Old Covenant, in order to be declared righteous, one must follow the law, which we know is impossible to do.  The Jews had 613 laws to follow, and they couldn't do it because of man's sinful nature. This is where people today mess up when reading the Bible. They look at the laws and try to follow them today, only to find themselves disappointed. They think they still have to follow some of Moses' law (particularly the moral part of the law), but Paul and James says that if you follow one part, you must follow all of it (Galatians 5:3, James 2:10). In addition to that, I have never seen anything in the New Testament that says you must keep the moral law of Moses. (***see side note on the bottom) You see, the law actually arouses sin (Romans 7:5).  The law actually gives sin its power.  1 Corinthians 15:56 says,

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.

People end up getting trapped under the law.   I used to say, well the Old Covenant laws are good guidelines for us to follow and should still be taken seriously.  I used to look at the laws so that I knew how to live my life for Christ,  but Steve McVey puts it this way,

What happens, then, when a person reads the Bible soley for the purpose of finding out how to live?  Her efforts backfire because the Law does what it always does by provoking sinful behavior.

It seems that the harder I try to follow the law, the worse I do, but here is the catch, I am not under the Old Covenant (and I never was under it because I am not a Jew), but under the New Covenant.  Just like if a new will is drawn up and the old will is no longer valid, the same thing happens with the Old and New Covenants.  The Old Covenant is no longer valid, and the New Covenant is what we look to.  I am not saying the Old Covenant is bad and unimportant, the law of the Old Covenant points out that we are sinners and gives us understanding of life under the law. However, under the New Covenant, we are declared righteous through Christ Jesus.  Jesus, fulfilled the law of the Old Covenant and paid the price for our sins through his death and resurrection. Our past, present, and future sins are forgiven  and Christ now lives IN me and will continue his good work through me!  The New Covenant is not based on how well we follow the law, but rather the New Covenant is based on faith in Christ Jesus. We confess our sins once to God and believe that Jesus is our Savior, and God forgives us. That is the New Covenant, grace.

For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace. (Romans 6:14)


Here is another thought, when does the New Covenant start?  At Jesus' birth?  A covenant is always starts with the shedding of blood.  The New Covenant starts after Jesus' death and resurrection (Matthew 26:28).   WOW!!!  So that means a lot of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John are still under the Old Covenant. This is important too, because when you read the words of Jesus, you will see that he still says a lot of law based stuff while also introducing and showing Grace by forgiving sins, healing people, and hanging out with sinners.  You see, Jesus was under the Old Covenant during his lifetime and had to fulfill the law in order to die for our sins.  You also have to ask who Jesus was talking to in the gospels, the Jews...not the Gentiles! He said a lot of law based things because he was talking to the race of people who were under the Old Covenant of the law. I am not saying that Jesus' words are unimportant, but we do need to read them in the right context. Many people say they are red letter believers of the Bible; in other words, they study all that Christ says (highlighted in red in the Bible)  and apply it to their own lives.  However not all that Christ says is TO them!  I would never intend to downplay what Christ is saying, that is not my point.  However, many people even limit who Christ is by only studying the gospels, when in fact Christ is the main character in the WHOLE Bible. You see, Christ in every book of the Bible.  To limit Christ to only the gospels is to miss so much of who He is! He is EVERYTHING!

When I read things in the Bible that seem contradictory, I ask myself, "Is this passage part of the Old Covenant or New Covenant?" because if it is under the Old Covenant, it is declared obsolete. If you look closely at the contradictions I wrote at the beginning of this blog, you will see that one is from the Old Covenant and the other is from the New Covenant.  Are you reading the Bible through the lens of the Law or through the lens of Grace? I have been trained all of my life to follow the Law, and I read the Bible through the lens of the Law.  

I now read the Bible through the lens of Grace and have found love and abundant life through Christ Jesus.  What lenses do you read the Bible with?



(To get more information about this topic, read Steve McVey's Unlock Your Bible and The Grace Walk Experience; Andrew Farley's the Naked Gospel, and Andre Van der Merwe's Grace the Forbidden Gospel)

***Just because we are not under the moral law does not give us the license to sin.  Even Paul says that in Romans 6:1 says: What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?
People who go out and sin because they are under the New Covenant of Grace, do not truly grasp the concept of grace.  Everything may be permissible under the New Covenant, but not everything is beneficial.  1 Corinthians 10:23 says: "I have the right to do anything," you say--but not everything is beneficial. "I have the right to do anything"--but not everything is constructive. In the New Covenant, we not are led by the Spirit (Romans 8:14) Galatians 5:18.says, But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

Old Covenant	New Covenant
Found in Old Testament and gospels	Found in New Testament
Law Based	Grace Based
Obsolete	Used today
Written to Jews	Written to Everyone

Here is my Chart Notes over what I have learned!