Things I have learned from being Brayden's Mom

Verse of the Week:

Trust in God; trust also in me.  John 14:1b

Things I have learned from being Brayden's Mom

On September 5, 2012 Brian's and my life changed forever.  We received one of the greatest joys God has ever given us, Brayden.  I get tears in my eyes as I remember that day; he was a treasure worth waiting for. Every single pain that I went through during the 48 hours of hard labor with only 5 hours of sleep was worth it. I would do it again in a split second for Brayden.  My husband rarely cries, but I remember tears slipping down his cheeks as he saw Brayden and told me that this was one of the best days of his life.  That night Brian didn't sleep a wink; instead, he spent most of the night awake staring at Brayden and holding him. I was so overjoyed and loved touching his soft skin and looking into his sweet sleeping face.  We were the most excited couple in the world.

I have learned so much about being a parent this past year to our sweet boy and even before that...

From the beginning, Brayden belonged to God, and knowledge of fact alone has allowed me to trust God to take care of him.

When I was first pregnant with Brayden,  I knew that the child inside my womb was not mine, but God's.  Brayden has always belonged to God.  I believed with all my heart that God had plans for the life growing inside of me. Brayden was never mine; I was just the one God had chosen to take care him.  I knew that there were risks of a miscarriage, of SIDS, of deadly sicknesses, of accidents and so many other things, but I knew that even if God only allowed Brayden to live 9 weeks inside of my womb or 90 years on this earth, He would take care of him.  I knew He had plans for Brayden not only down here on earth but in heaven as well.  At that time, God had given me the privilege and joy of taking care of this new life he was knitting inside of my womb. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. (Ps 139:13) During my pregnancy and this past year, I have praised God for the opportunity to raise and take care of Brayden.  Knowing who Brayden belonged to helped me to learn to trust God in an amazing way. I didn't always trust God; there were times when I let worries invade my mind, but when I remembered who held Brayden in the palm of His hand, it gave me peace knowing Brayden would be taken care of no matter what. After all Jesus says, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me" (John 14:1).  That is what I am learning as a parent, trust.....

1. Trusting God for wisdom daily with Brayden
When Brayden finally started crawling, it introduced a whole new stage of parenthood, the disciplining stage.  I told Brian from the get go, that I didn't want to  baby proof the whole apartment, that we would teach Brayden the areas he could go and not go.  After all, it is good to start setting limits at an early age.  Right?  Let just say that this Mama had no idea what she was getting into.  So when Brayden first started crawling towards the TV and our bird's cage I was delighted to teach him the word, NO.  I would gently say, "That's a no no," and then redirect him to another toy on the floor. I had done a lot of research on this, I knew what I was doing....or did I not?  The first three days were tough; crawling what seemed like a 100 times to both "no" areas was taking its toll on me.  I was getting a workout picking him up and moving him back to his play area while saying "no," but I was determined to persevere. After all, it had only been 3 days, and he was still learning.  A week later, I felt like the "no no's" increase from a 100 times a day to a 1,000 times a day, but I was DETERMINED to show him there were limits.   Two weeks later..."Brian," I said, "This isn't working, I am going to have to change my strategy."  So like a military commander, I changed up my plan; the cunning squirt would eventually surrender and start listening. Never mind that my adversary had a cute face, adorable belly laugh, and innocent look, I wasn't going to be influenced by it.  After all, I used to teach kids and knew how to discipline.  I had a stubborn streak, and I knew I would persevere; however, I forgot one tiny detail: the contender was related to me and was equally if not doubly more stubborn than his Mama. 

The Mastermind: Don't be deceive by that cute smile and innocent look....He touched a "No No" right when I snapped the pic!  

 Hence the war between Mama and baby began.....three weeks later, he still went to his "no" spots what now seemed like a million times a day....a month later still a million times a day.  I used my weapons every battle I fought: the pack n play for time outs, my hands for a bop on the rear, and my firm steady voice which, at the beginning had sounded so patient, was now sounding more frantic when I said  "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tactics designed to distract my adversary included his light up book, blocks, toy train, and Ernie doll. Still the battle raged....mom vs son.  Who would win? Eventually one day we had a break through! After saying no, Brayden stopped, looked at me, and went back to playing with his toys!  YESSSSSS!!!  I felt like shouting out with joy;  I was so proud of him. Eventually a million times a day felt like 1000 time and 1000 times a day felt like 100. Nearly 5 months later, he did not go to those "no no" spots too often; however, he is now going to new "no no" spots like the kitchen and the dirty air vent.  However, Sergeant Mom is determined to stick with it, and  I must say that I am proud of Brayden. He has improved so much since those first days. Here is the point of the story.  I started off thinking I had everything under control. However, as the battles got worse, I grew hopeless and afraid.  I learned that I couldn't do it by myself,  that I needed God's strength and wisdom on a daily basis to stay consistent and to make smart decisions.   I learned that I have to take it one day at a time, and seek God through it all.  The challenges in the discipline department are only beginning, but I am once again trusting that God will give me the wisdom and knowledge to make the best decisions possible. Some days I feel clueless and other days I have that aw ha moment, but I know that even if I mess up, I am trusting that God can clean up my messes and make it work together for good.   

2.  Praying for Brayden helps me to remember to trust God to take care of him
I remember one time Brian and I were giving Brayden a bath. In this particular instance, Brian somehow didn't have Brayden secure in his hands.  The next thing I heard was a small little bop!... poor Brayden's head hit the wall of the tub.  Brayden probably cried for 2 seconds and then was his happy joyful self again...no bruise on his head either.  However, since we were first time parents, Brian and I wanted to make sure that Brayden was ok.  So I looked up on "Dr. Google" to see  if it was ok for Brayden to hit his head.  After all, Dr. Google has helped me in the past by diagnosing me with cancer, heart attack, appendicitis, and every single thing that I have never had.  So after researching, Dr. Google informed me that it could be a concussion which might need hospital care and that we should monitor our baby over the next 24 hours to make sure he was ok.   So Brian and I found ourselves checking Brayden's eyes every 30 minutes to make sure they were not dilated, observing his behavior carefully to make sure he wasn't acting fussy, making sure he wasn't extremely tired, and many other symptoms of a concussion.  Unfortunately for us, Brayden just happened to have the symptoms of fussiness and extreme tiredness. (We sorta forgot to take into consideration that it was bedtime and he is always fussy and tired by then.)  Brian and I were scared half out of our wits that Brayden might have a concussion and were debating on whether we should call the doctor or not.  Finally, I decided to pray about it and for Brayden.  After I prayed, once again I was reminded that God had Brayden in the palm of his hand, and that we needed to relax and trust in Him.  The next day as I kept watching Brayden to make sure there were no signs of a concussion, I was constantly having to pray and rededicate Brayden to God.  Later, I realized how ridiculous we were to respond to such a small bump.  Brayden has probably received over a hundred bumps and bruises on his head since he started crawling/walking and the number is still increasing.  Any experienced parent knows it is impossible to keep your baby from hitting his/her head as they grow older.  The purpose of the story is to show that seeking God's help and direction through prayer is a must!  Prayer helps us seek the one who is in charge. Prayer reminds us to trust.  Prayer teaches us to look at situations through God's eyes.  Prayer keeps us calm.  More importantly prayer makes us rely on God.  ...pray continually, 1Thessalonians 5:17

3.  Trusting that God will provide for all of Brayden's needs
I am constantly amazed at God's provision since before and after Brayden was born.  It is amazing how he provides for both big and small things.  I remember in a couple of instances, I was thinking, "I wish Brayden had some more animal books."  The very next day a friend showed up with two animal books.  Another time I was thinking that I wanted to get Brayden an animal farm.  Soon after, a friend emailed me and asked me if I wanted her animal farm that her son had grown out of.  I never told anyone but my husband about these ideas, yet, God chose to provide for these small things anyway.  I am amazed how God cares for both the large and tiny details of Brayden's life. God has constantly provided for Brayden's needs.  But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Philipians 4:19)

4.  Worry is the opposite of Trust
One thing I have battled as a parent is worrying.  I learned a long time ago that worry is the opposite of trust. I have wasted to much time worrying about things that never happen.  As Jesus says, You cannot add any time to your life by worrying about it. (Matthew 6:27). One particular instance, I remember taking worrying to the extreme.  I was so excited to take Brayden to his routine doctor checkup to see how he was doing.  I couldn't wait to see how much he had grown and how much he weighed.  However, in this particular doctor appointment, the doctor dropped the bomb and told me that Brayden's head was growing to fast. He wasn't to concerned about it, but he still wanted to monitor his head for the next few months to be safe.  No parent likes to hear that there is something wrong with their kid.  I went home depressed like my world had fallen apart. What if there really was cancer or fluid pressure in his brain?  What if Brayden's life was in danger?  What if he needed special care?  What if? What if?  For the next few months as the doctor monitored his head, I had to learn to just trust in God and know that Brayden was once again in His hands.  I couldn't waste my time analyzing and worrying about it.  While there were instances where I wasted time worrying, there were also instances where I remembered to give the situation and Brayden to God.  What a comfort to know that someone had it all under control.  We have this illusion that we can control things in our lives and so we worry as if it will help the situation, but most of the time we can't.  However, knowing God is in control, allowed me to step back and once again rest in is love and peace. 

As a mom, I am learning to trust in Jesus.  I am learning that even though Brian and I love Brayden deeply, there is someone far greater and more powerful who loves him more, and I need to give Brayden over to Him. Brayden never belonged to me; he belongs to God.  Mine and Brian's job is to take care of Brayden, teach him about Jesus, and to love him with Christ's love.  However, we are not to do those tasks alone; Brian and I must depend on God and trust in Christ to help us each day.  

Belongs to GOD!

Happy 1st Birthday, my dear sweet Brayden.  We are excited to see what your Heavenly Father has in store for you.  May you learn to trust in Him as Mama and Dada are learning to do right now.  We love you! Love, Mama and Dada


***There will be no blog entry next weeks since I will be celebrating Brayden's first birthday!  Look for another blog entry in two more weeks. 

Give to Get?

Verse of the Week:

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ." (Ephesians 1:3)

Give to Get?

Do I have to give anything to receive God's blessings?  Growing up it was emphasized to me to tithe 10% of my income and then God would bless me in my finances.  I was always bothered by this; not by the giving part, but by the blessing part.  I felt that the motive was wrong: give to get something, in this case, God's blessings.  However, I tithed willingly because I wanted to serve my sweet Lord and give Him so much for all that He had ALREADY given to me.   I would never want to downplay the experiences of some people who lived, shared, and experienced blessings from God from tithing, but the idea of tithing in order to receive blessings bothered me.  

Lets look at a few of the verses that teachers insist deal with tithing and being blessed.
When Abraham defeated the 4 kings with his men, he took the spoils of war and gave 10% of his loot to the high priest Melchizedek. Lets read the verses in Genesis 14:17-20:

After Abram returned from defeating Kedorlaomer and the kings allied with him, the king of Sodom came out to meet him in the Valley of Shaveh (that is, the King’s Valley).

Then Melchizedek king of Salem brought out bread and wine. He was priest of God Most High,  and he blessed Abram, saying,

“Blessed be Abram by God Most High,
    Creator of heaven and earth. And praise be to God Most High,    who delivered your enemies into your hand.”

Then Abram gave him a tenth of everything.

Lets talk about how if we give God a tenth of our salary, He will bless us. Notice in Abraham's story, he was ALREADY BLESSED by God.  Melchizedek blessed Abraham FIRST. In return, Abraham gave 10% back to God through the High Priest Melchizedek.  God didn't bless him AFTER he gave a tenth of everything, He had already given Abraham a blessing.  

Let's look at another verse that people use to back up the idea of tithing, and then look and see if Jacob got blessings from doing it.  Genesis 28:20-22

Then Jacob made a vow, saying, “If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father’s household, then the Lord will be my God and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God’s house, and of all that you give me I will give you a tenth.”   Notice the underlined portion of the verse, once again, Jacob was not giving in order to receive blessings from God.  God gave to Jacob first.  Jacob said, that ALL THAT YOU GIVE ME, I will give you a tenth.  God had already blessed him, and he in return would give. 

Last major verse that people would say about being blessed when you tithe is one that I heard all the time growing up. God is talking to the Jews after they had been disobedient.  Malachi 3:8-11:

    

“Will a mere mortal rob God? Yet you rob me.

“But you ask, ‘How are we robbing you?’

“In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse—your whole nation—because you are robbing me.  Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.  I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not drop their fruit before it is ripe,” says the Lord Almighty.

First off, this verse is taken from the OLD COVENANT of the law.  In the old covenant, God made an agreement with the Israelites that if they would follow his laws, he would bless them, if they did not follow the law, he would curse them.    That is why you see Him challenging the Jews to tithe as He had commanded in the Old Covenant to prove that He would do his part of the bargain and bless them for it.  However, we are no longer under the old covenant and the curses/blessings that God placed upon the Israelites. Galatians 3:13 says, "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a pole.”  We are no longer under the old covenant of the law.  Christ took that away.  So when God curses the Jews for not tithing, it is based on the old covenant.  God wanted to bless the Israelites and said so, "Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it."  Unfortunately the Jews broke the tithing law and God had to curse them.

What does the new covenant in the New Testament say about tithing?  Sadly enough, there is NOT ONE verse on tithing in the New Testament.

There is one verse in the New Testament that people use to back up the concept that if you tithe you will be blessed.  It comes from the words of Jesus himself: "So that your giving may be in secret.  Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."  In this verse, it sounds like God rewards us if we give, but notice what Christ is emphasizing here, giving in SECRET.  We need to read the verses in the right context.  Apparently men in the synagogues were giving in public so that they could be praised by men for their giving.  Matthew 6:2 says, " So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full."  The people in the synagogues motives were wrong. Jesus wants us to have the right motives in giving.  He does not want us to give so that we can win the approval of people, but to give out of the love and joy in our hearts, that in itself is the reward.  

Since there are no verses on tithing in the New Testament, lets look at verses on giving.   

In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words of the Lord Jesus himself said: It is more blessed to give than to receive. Acts 20:35b

The people of the early church would give their possessions to the needy. Acts 2:45 "Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need."

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. (2 Corinthians 9:7)  God wants us to give joyfully and cheerfully, to whomever he leads us to give to, not reluctantly or under compulsion!  He loves a cheerful giver.  People who are under the burden of debt and fail to tithe 10% feel like guilt is heaped upon them, and they expect God to curse them as it says he will under the Old Covenant. However,  we are not under the Old Covenant but under  the New Covenant. Here is the point I am trying to make.  It is not about tithing to receive blessings, it is about giving freely in your hearts because of all that God has blessed you with through Christ Jesus. Here is the point I want to make: God has ALREADY BLESSED us! Every spiritual blessing has been given to us already.  "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ." (Ephesians 1:3)  Lets give all that we want to give because of the love and blessings God has already poured out to us through Christ Jesus.  

Let me point out something.  When Brian and I got married, I have received so much love and support from my husband.  Because he loves me so much, I can't help but want to love, give and serve him in return.  It is the same way with God.  We love Him because He first loved us.  We give because He has given us so much. Lets give not to get something, but because we have already been blessed with so much in Christ.  

***I received a lot of my thoughts from the book, Grace, the Forbidden Gospel, by Andre van der Merwe.  I am not saying I have the correct answer on this topic, but I felt the need to share my thoughts.  This blog entry may spark discussions on tithing but I hope it does not create arguments among others on the idea of tithing. The main point of this entry is not to debate tithing but to emphasize God's loving character and how He loves us so much that blesses us anyway, tithing or not.

However, there will be some people who will want to discuss tithing in more detail.  To share my understanding of tithing, here is some more information on some ideas I have on this topic.  Tithing is under the Old Covenant not the New.  It was created based on Old Testament verses that I shared above.  Am I saying we shouldn't tithe?  I believe that if we truly love the Lord, we will gladly give.  However, we are not obligated under the New Covenant to give 10% but we give what we have decided in our hearts to give as it says in 2 Corinthians 9:7 whether it be 10%, 50%, or 5%.  God loves a cheerful giver.  Perhaps you have a different interpretation; I respect that, but this is what I have concluded thus far.

Seeing the World through the Eyes of an 11 Month Old

Verse of the Week:

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17)  

Seeing the World through the Eyes of an 11 Month Old

I wish I could go back and be my son's age and remember what it was like to see the world for the first time.  I can only get a glimpse of what our 11 month old sweetie sees. I have been taking Brayden out to the park lately and have been letting him explore the world on foot. By the look on his face, he has been in heaven.  

He smiles and giggles as he wobbles across the green grass, stopping at times to stoop down and pat the grass to see how it feels.  He smiles big whenever I show him the trees and pats the tree in excitement feeling the rough bark and excitedly grabs the leaf to feel it crunch inside of his little hands.  He stares up at the flag up in the air in awww as he hears it flapping in the wind.  He gets a kick out of the ride he takes on the swing and gives a big belly laugh as he moves back and forth in the air.  He smiles in delight at the dogs that walk by and tries to go after them but trips over his legs because he cannot keep up.  Our son loves the out doors.  

But more importantly he loves all of the new things that he is experiencing in life. I remember when he sat up for the first time by himself at 5 months.  He looked around amazed with huge eyes and was so proud of himself like he was saying, "Look what I am doing!"  When he first started crawling, he couldn't get enough of exploring around every little thing was meant to be touched and put inside his mouth.  Every waking moment he has is spent in exploring and investigating everything!  He cannot get enough of his story time with Daddy in the evenings.  As a Mom, I just stop whatever I am doing to just watch his face as he stares in fascination at all the things he sees in books. At a restaurant, he is fascinated with the different foods to taste, trying water through a straw, feeling the table and hitting the hard surface with his hands to make noise, and ripping a napkin to pieces to see what it feels like.  The whole world is opening up to him, and he is loving every moment.   I wish that as adults we would spend our time in fascination of the life we live around us.  Every good and perfect gift is from God and that includes all the little things we take for granted.  If only we had the eyes of an 11 month old!

The Great Artist made so many things for our enjoyment.  How many times do I rush to and from a store only to ignore the beautiful flowers all around me or the changing colors of the fall leaves.  How many times do I take for granted the feel of running water pouring down my hands or a cool breeze on a hot day.  How many times do I take for granted the fact that I have been blessed with legs to walk and run with, as Brayden is just now discovering.  How many times do I take for granted laughter and the joy it brings in my life.  Life is beautiful and was made by a BEAUTIFUL ARTIST.  Every good thing in this world is from Him.  His love is wrapped in all of the amazing beauty that He has created.  

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17)  Everything good thing we take for granted comes from our Heavenly Father.  Pause and take the time today to look at this world with amazement.  Delight in what God has made and does. Take the time to look at the world through the eyes of an 11 month old.  How exciting it must be!

Church...What is it really?

Verse of the Week:

1 Corinthians 6:19  "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own."

Church...What is it really?

Growing up, I learned so much about the Lord through my parents.  If anyone had an impact on teaching me about Jesus, it was my Mom and Dad.  They displayed their love for God through their actions on a daily basis.  I remember our evening Bible studies before bedtime as a child.  Dad would read from our picture Bible, and I remember looking forward to seeing the colorful pictures and reading about Abraham, David, Moses, Ruth, Esther, Elijah, Jesus, and Paul.  I remember waking up Saturday mornings and walking into my parent's bedroom seeing them engrossed in a Bible study together.  I remember our prayers we said at meal times and outside of mealtimes.  I remember daily talks we had about our Savior.  I knew who was number one in my parent's lives, Jesus.  When I was around 10-11 years old, I remember that we stopped going to church.  People were extremely critical towards my parents for making that choice.  I remember noticing it more as I grew older.  People would judge my family thinking that we were wrong not to go to church without ever knowing why we stopped.  I remember a pastor in particular who shunned my own mother because she didn't take me to church.  Shame on people for being so quick to judge and not truly loving with Christ's love.  

You see, my siblings and I all have a hearing loss, making it hard to listen in large group settings such as a church.  Try reading a pastor's lips from 20 feet away, and you will get what I mean.  Try keeping up with a group conversation in Sunday school without the use of your ears, and you will quickly find it downright impossible.  Try listening hard all week at school and then going to church and listening some more.  It is exhausting.  People have never realized how hard my siblings and I have had to work at listening.  Therefore, my parents made a difficult decision to start having church at home.  Every week we would watch Christian pastors on TV such as Adrian Rogers and Charles Stanley.  Their broadcasts were closed captioned.  For those of you that do not know what closed captioning is, the words that a person is saying on TV appear at the bottom of the screen (just think about today's subtitles on movies).  I grew more in that setting than I ever did at church as a child.  I would take notes as we watched the broadcasts, and then my family and I would sit and discuss what we had watched afterwards.  Sometimes the discussions would last for hours and were one of the highlights of my week.  I grew in the Lord and learned to love Him deeply during that time of my life.

I learned long ago, that Christianity isn't about a church building, but about a personal relationship with Christ Jesus.  The purpose of this blog entry is to explain what church really is.  This is NOT to put down the church in any way.  I myself as an adult attend church and find it beneficial in my walk with Christ.  However, I have heard following said by people:

• The church is God's house.
• To show your kids how important God is, you MUST go to church every Sunday.
• Don't neglect fellowship with other Christians, you need to have a church in order to do so.
• It is impossible to love Jesus and not love the Church. 

Do I agree or disagree with the above statements?  Well it depends....

First off, I cannot talk about the above statements without giving some background of the word "church" and how churches actually first came about.  The word church in the Bible NEVER referred to a building, temple, or house of God, rather the New Testament verses that use the word Church comes from the word Ekklesia (mentioned 114 times in the New Testament). Ekklesia always refers to an assembly of people, never a building. As my pastor has put it, a church is a body of believers.  In early Christianity, Christians met in each other's homes, not in an official building.  This went on for 300 plus years after Christ's resurrection.  When the Roman emperor, Constantine came to power, he wanted to promote Christianity and did so by constructing the building of several churches.  While Constantine was known as the first Christian emperor, he still clung to his pagan beliefs and used some of his pagan ideas while constructing the church.  He wanted the Christians to have their own sacred building just like the Jews and pagans had their own temples.  He named his churches after saints just as pagans named their temples after their gods.  He declared Sunday to be a day of rest for all religions to honor his Sun god, Mithras.  By the way, the Jew's Sabbath was on Saturday, never on Sunday.  

There were many more pagan ideas that were implemented into the church during the 4th and 5th centuries. Most if not many ideas for the church are man made, not from the Bible.  (To find more information about this topic, refer to the book Pagan Christianity by Frank Viola and George Barna.)  The point I am trying to make, is that the church was never initially a building but rather turned into such a place as history has shown.

Whether I agree or disagree with the above statements soley depends on the definition of "church."  Is the church a building or body of believers? By understanding that the church is a body of believers, it changes my view of church.
So lets discuss the above statements I put down:

1. The church is God's house.
Perhaps you have heard the familiar phrase on Sunday, "Welcome to the house of God!" or "God's spirit is moving in this church today!"  Does God truly dwell in a church building?  Is the church His home?  Lets read 1 Corinthians 6:19

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own."

God's spirit resides inside of you.  You are his home.  When you became a Christian and recieved Jesus into your heart, God's spirit came to live inside of you.  If you refer to a Church as a body of believers, then the above statement is true, God's spirit resides in the body of believers.  If you believe that God resides in a building, then I would have to disagree with you. Is it possible for God's spirit to be in a church building?  Only if a body of believers are present.

2. To show your kids how important God is, you must go to church every Sunday.
If you have read my story above, you will quickly find out that my family did not go to church every Sunday, but I still learned how important Jesus is.  He is EVERYTHING to me. What does the Bible say about bringing your children to church...lets look at some scripture.

Proverbs 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Notice that none of the scriptures say anything about taking a child to church each Sunday, but rather it talks about training a child on the ways of God.  Can church be a way to train your child, ABSOLUTELY! But are there other alternatives to teaching your child about Jesus? YES, which I hope you saw from my own history of learning about Christ. You can take your child to church building every Sunday, but if you are not showing them and teaching them about God's love during the week, then are they truly being trained up in the way they should go?  Actions speak louder than the words on the pulpit.  Are your actions reflecting those of Christ?

3. Don't neglect fellowship with other Christians, you need to have a church in order to do so.

Many of us have heard of this verse from Hebrews 10:

25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

I agree, we shouldn't neglect meeting and fellowshiping with other Christians. Remember, the definition of church determines whether I agree with the above statement or not. If it means a gathering of believers, then I agree completely.  However, is the church building the only way to do it?  No. 

Another thought, do we truly fellowship with Christians on Sunday?  We go into the service and maybe introduce ourselves to a few newcomers that are visiting the church; we wave and say the classic, "Hi, how are you." and then we sit down and listen to the pastor preach the rest of the service.  Are we really meeting and discussing the word of God with other Christians?  Can church be a source or way to find other Christian friends and fellowship with them outside of church? Absolutely!   But is it the only way? No.  I never felt like I neglected meeting with Christians growing up because my whole family were Christians, and we met and discussed the word of God on more days than just Sunday.  My family was my church or gathering of believers.

4. It is impossible to love Jesus and not love the Church.
If the church is being referred to as a body of believers, then I agree with this statement.  If a person is saying they love Jesus but hate their fellow brother/sister in Christ then how can the love of Christ truly be in them.  1 John 4:20 says:

If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.


It is impossible to love Jesus and not love his followers; however, there are people that have problems with the church building, traditions, and the structure that churches run by, but not the believers themselves.  But there are also people that love the church traditions and expect others to love the same and are critical if they do not.  Loving your fellow believers is more important than the building and its traditions.

Church is a gathering of believers!

I wrote this blog, to help give people a better understanding towards others who love the Lord but do not attend church in a building.  I myself now attend church in a building and find it beneficial, but I do not judge those who do not attend a church building themselves. I used to be one of them.  While a church building can be a beautiful resource in growing in our relationship with God, we should be careful in making it a hard core biblical doctrine, because the Bible says NOTHING about going to a building every Sunday to worship. If anything, the church building was built upon pagan ideas and is not Biblically based as oppose to popular belief.   The church is every single believer in Christ that meets together, whether in a home, coffee shop, or a church building.  The body of believers is not just contained in one building, but believers are everywhere.  Let's not judge our fellow believers, but rather be quick to love, support, and help each other with our walk in Christ whether it is in our homes, at Walmart, at a party, during work, or in a church building.  The church is a gathering of people.  

Things I have learned from being married to Brian!

Verse of the Week:

Matthew 19:4-6 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'  and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?  So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

Things I have learned from being married to Brian!

My husband's and my fourth anniversary is coming up in two more weeks.  It has been an amazing journey with him, and I wouldn't trade my time with Brian for the world.  I was taking the time to reflect on the things we have learned the past four years as a married couple, and here is what we have learned.

1.  You can't change your spouse, but you can work on yourself!
Brian and I have plenty of flaws that drive each other nuts! For instance, Brian cannot stand my chewing.  Because I have a hearing loss, I have never really heard my smacking and chewing when I eat food.  However, I have been informed many times by my sweetheart that it is LOUD!  He may be in the living room playing on the computer or reading a book, when his worst nightmare comes to pass when his wife shows up into the room with a bowl of cereal.  chomp chomp Chomp CHOMP CHOMP....It crawls up Brian's skin!  As a result, I get a few dirty looks from him!

I get driven nuts whenever Brian falls asleep on the recliner at bedtime.  Why? Trying to get him to get up and just walk 10 feet to the bed is like trying to tell a rock to get up and take itself across the mountain.  I will spend over 30 minutes trying to reason with a guy who is half asleep about why I would like him to get up and go to bed.  "Brian, lets go to bed," I would say.  He would look up at me with these glazed eyes and say, "OK," and then immediately would close his eyes again to resume sleeping!  The process kept repeating itself, until, it escalated into an argument.  Ever tried arguing with a sleeping person?  Many times, I have ended up getting water from the sink and dumping it on his head.  Boy does that wake him up!

Here is the point I am trying to make, we have both learned that we can not change our spouse, but because we love each other so much, we will work on ourselves.  I am constantly working on remembering to chew with my mouth closed; while Brian has miraculously gotten up off the recliner the first time I asked him!  Brian tries to control the dirty looks he gives me when I accidentally chomp too loud, and I have refrained from dumping water all over his head (I give him a warning first!).  We try to do things that will make our marriage better, not worse.  Instead of being selfish by expecting your own spouse to change, be selfless and put your spouse first and change what you can do to help your marriage grow stronger.

Philipians 2:3 says:
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 

2. Let bygones be bygones
There is not room for bitterness or holding grudges in a marriage, it will eat up your marriage!  Brian and I do argue, but one thing I do not recall in our arguments is bringing up the past things that we have done to each other.  If we do bring up the past, we do it when we are concerned about something and need to discuss it with each other.  We NEVER use past problems or hurts to lash back at the other person in anger.  If anything, we have learned to laugh at some of the things we have done in the past.  For instance, one memory that we laugh at all the time happened when I was pregnant.  A quick warning for those of you that don't know me; my temper can get the better of me when I have pregnancy hormones raging through my body.  In this particular instance, Brian and I were getting ready for church.  I went into the bathroom with my baby belly bouncing in front of me, when I noticed that Brian was still in the shower.  For some crazy reason, I thought we were going to be late for church, and my pregnancy hormones started to invade my mind.  I told Brian to get out of the shower NOW and that we were going to be late for church.  When he failed to comply, I litterly screamed at him at the top of my lungs, "Get out of the SHOWWWWWWEERRRR!!!!"  Then I reached in the shower and turned off the shower myself and started stomping my foot on the floor several times pulling off a temper tantrum.  Ever seen an adult in a temper tantrum, particularly a pregnant one?  It's not a pretty sight!  Brian, still covered in soap, just stared at me with his mouth  wide open.  Poor guy!  By the way, we made it to church on time despite the fact that I WASTED time trying to get him out of the shower.  The whole point of this story is that, Brian could use this story against me when we argue saying that I have anger problems and how awful I am, but instead, he lets bygones be bygones, and we laugh together at this story all the time.  We forgive each other and move on.  We never let bitterness take root.

Ephesians 4:31-32 says: 
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

3. If you have a problem with your spouse, tell your spouse, not your parents, friends, dog, or siblings!
Your spouse is the other part of YOU!  You guys are ONE!  Matthew 19:4-6 says, "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'  and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ?  So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." To speak bad about your spouse to other people is to speak bad about yourself! You will only bring strife to your marriage when you complain about your spouse to others.  If you have a problem with your spouse, talk about it with your spouse. Sometimes it is not easy, and the other person may not be too happy about discussing the problem, but if possible, keep the problem between the two of you. I know I have slipped up at times and said something bad about Brian to friends, but I go right around and tell Brian what I had said, and apologize.  I try my best to brag about Brian because he needs to be uplifted, not beaten down.

4.  Communication....is it there?
I remember at the beginning of our marriage, Brian and I had to discuss a big issue, our finances.  Before we got married, we both had different ways of dealing with our finances in which we both thought our way was the best way.  I remember as we started discussing it, that I was so defensive and was against anything Brian suggested.  I ignored what he had to say, and tried to make my case on why MY WAY was better.  Brian started doing the same thing, trying to explain why his way was better too.  Eventually, Brian and I  could tell we were getting no where; Brian pointed out that we had to find a way not to interrupt each other and listen.  So I did the most random thing.  I went into the kitchen and found a banana....yes, a banana!  I lifted up the banana and stated, "Whoever is holding this banana has permission to talk, the other must listen."  I am sure Brian was thinking, "I have to hold a banana to talk to my wife?"  I am sure Brian was going to go bananas listening to me talk!  Well, believe it or not, the technique worked GREAT!  I started truly listening to what Brian said and understood that he had a lot of good things to say about finances, budgeting, and saving and vice versa.  Together, we came up with a way to budget our money and save, but the banana forced me to listen to him and made him to listen to me as well.  Listening to what the other says in a marriage is so important.  Often times, people are already trying to come up with a response to something while a person is still talking, and, as a result, they miss out on what the person is truly saying.  God gave us two ears and one mouth, I guess that meant he wanted us to listen more than talk!  James 1:19 says, "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry"


5.  Make Christ the Center.
If I had to describe Christ, the first couple of words that comes to mind is love, sacrifice, and service.  Love your spouse with Christ's love.  I am so blessed to have a man that loves me with Christ's love.  After a hard day at work, he displays a servant's heart and will sacrifice his time to do dishes for me.  He will willingly change Brayden's diaper in the evenings knowing that I am sick and tired of changing Brayden's diaper all day long.  When I am sick, he will take care of me.  When I am sad, he puts his arms around me and gives me a hug.  He reminds me of Christ, because Christ lives inside of him.  I am blessed!

In 2 more weeks, it will have been four years since we have said, "I do," and have become ONE in Christ.  Thank you Lord for Brian.  Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart!  I love you so much!!!

**I will not be doing a blog entry next week since I will be celebrating my 30th birthday and my 4 year anniversary with my sweet husband and son.  Check back on my site in a couple more weeks!

What is the Purpose of the Law?

Verse of the Week:

Romans 6:14 "For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace."

What is the Purpose of the Law?

Everyone is a slave to something.  A lot of people have the misconception that they can conquer anything, that nothing in this world has any power over them.   Having trouble losing weight? You can conquer it!  Addicted to alcohol?  You have the power within yourself to defeat your addiction!  Trouble with porn? You have the ability to overcome it! But the truth and reality is that we are all slaves to something.  In fact the Bible talks about us being slaves to two things, sin or righteousness. Romans 6:16 says,  "Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness?"  Prior to grace, everyone was a slave to sin, whether we liked it or not.  No matter how hard we try, we just can't overcome, defeat, or conquer sin ourselves. I remember driving myself nuts trying to conquer sin in my own strength. I would think that after months of working on it, I had mastered the command of not worrying, when the very next day something would happen and I would go right back and do exactly what I thought I had conquered.  I would work on my anger problems, just when I thought I had self control with my anger, someone would say something that hit a raw nerve in my body and I would lash out in anger.  I couldn't ever imagine not forgiving someone, after all, God forgave everyone; then someone would do something that hurt so bad and I would  swim in a sea of bitterness and hate.  I desperately wanted to be a slave to righteousness, but it was impossible for me to stop sinning.  God even gave the Jews a chance to defeat sin and become righteous by giving them laws to follow.  Do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that, the list goes on and on to the point that God gave the Jews 613 laws to follow! Perfectionism could only be obtained if they followed ALL 613 laws. Thank goodness for GRACE!!!  Because of Jesus, we are no longer slaves to sin but righteousness.  Jesus himself lived under the law and followed it to the core. Through his death and resurrection we now have a life of freedom from sin.  Romans 6:14 says, "For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace."

So why do we keep being slaves to sin?  Why do we always go back to the law? The law does nothing but make us feel like a failure. Dr. Andrew Farely in his book The Naked Gospel points out:

Being under the law is like being in prison.  You're constantly reminded that you're guilty and awaiting your sentence.  The law doesn't encourage us, nor does it build us up.  With its perfect standard, it only tears down our pride.  It shows us that we'll never succeed." Refer to Galatians 3:23-24

 People say that once we are saved, we are free from the ceremonial laws of the Old Testament, but the moral laws still need to be followed as guidelines for the Christian life.  Therefore even though our intentions are pure and we just want some guidelines to follow, we go right back to being slaves to sin because we keep trying to follow the law to become righteous (when in fact righteousness comes from faith in Jesus, not  by following the law). Tithe 10%, do not covet, do not have other idols, do not lust, do not be jealous, do not lie, honor your parents, do not worry, do not get angry, do not commit adultery, do forgive, and the list keeps going on and on.  If there is something we struggle with, we try so hard to conquer it only to be disappointed that we couldn't overcome it.  Here is where we mess up, we keep putting the law back into our lives because we think it is what we need to be Christ-like and go right back to being slaves to sin.  Here is what James says about the law and following it.   For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it. (James 2:10)  James is talking about the whole law, not just the moral law. I believe he is including ceremonial law as well.   That means if we have eaten bacon for breakfast, we have broken the law (Leviticus 11:2b)!  If we have not brought a goat in its first year as an offering for unintentional sins, we have broken the law (Numbers 15:27). If a women doesn't isolate herself during her menstrual cycle for 7 days, she has broken the law (Leviticus 15:17-20). If you work on the Sabbath  you should be put to death (Numbers 15:32-33).  For those of you that insist I am going overboard and that James is only talking about the moral law, consider what Paul himself said, "Mark my words!  I, Paul, tell you that if you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all.  Again I declare to every man who lets himself be circumcised that he is obligated to obey the whole law." (Galatians 5:2-3) Circumcision was another law to be followed, and Paul was simply saying that if you are going to follow one law, then you are obligated to follow all of it!

Thank goodness for grace, and that through Christ we are free from the written code of the law. He has enabled us to be ministers of his new covenant. This is a covenant not of written laws, but of the Spirit. The old written covenant ends in death; but under the new covenant, the Spirit gives life. (2 Corinthians 3:6). 

So if through faith in Christ we are free from the law, then WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THE LAW? 

The law is a beautiful thing because it helps non-Christians to know that they need a Savior. It is designed to guide or lead people to Christ.  People are always saying that they are good enough to get to heaven.   You will catch many non-Christians saying, "I am a good person, and have done a lot of good in my life.  I deserve to go to heaven."  The law however is designed to quiet such sayings. Romans 3:19-20 says, "19 Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, so that every mouth may be silenced and the whole world held accountable to God. 20 Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin."  The law points to us that we are sinners.  

I am not saying the law is all bad. The law is good because it was made for the unbelievers and points them to Christ.  1 Timothy 1:8-9 says, 8 Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, 9 understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers,  

So if the law no longer plays a part in the Christian's life then what standard and guidelines should Christians follow since they no longer follow the law? When you accept Jesus as your personal Savior, you receive a new Spirit.  "so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit." (Galatians 3:14b)  The spirit of God dwells within us (Romans 8:8-9).  We are changed inwardly and you begin to see some of the good works come out of our lives because of that change.  Andre van der Merwe in his book, Grace the Forbidden Gospel ,points out:

" [...]  under the New Covenant God changed our hearts, and when our hearts are changed, the good works will automatically follow."

Some of the fruits of the Spirit that is now in a Christian's spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.  Apart from these there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23).  

I am not saying that because of grace we now have the license to sin, but our focus should not be on our sin or the law but rather on Christ.  His spirit is displayed in us. When we truly understand grace and the freedom we receive from the law and when we grasp God's amazing love in it all, we can't help but want to display the fruits of the Spirit.  Will we display the fruits of the spirit perfectly?  No, not all the time, but that is the beauty of Grace, we are no longer bound by the law but are forgiven and loved by God anyway!  He no longer condemns us but is pleased with us.  "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit." (Romans 8:1)

Thank you, Lord, that through Grace I am now a slave to righteousness and not sin.  Jesus paid it all, and in Him I am declared righteous!

For more information on this topic, read my blog entry entitled, Christian Behavior.