What Forgiveness Does

Verse of the Week:

Ephesians 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you

What Forgiveness Does

"I am going to have to let you go.  It just isn't working,"  my boss told me.  After 2 years of torture in my job, I was having mixed feelings.  I was relieved it was over, but I was so hurt.  My boss was a tough person, and working with him had been hard.  No matter how hard I tried to please him and do what he asked, I always fell short on meeting his expectations.  Trying to please my boss was like a person with a broken leg trying to run a mile and break the world record in order to please his coach... pretty much impossible.  I was so hurt that even though I thought I had forgiven him for all that I had went through, I found out later that I had not....

Forgiveness is a tough thing for people to do. Perhaps you have heard yourself or friends say, "I am never forgiving so and so!"  Or maybe you said, "Why should I forgive them?  They don't deserve it!"  Or perhaps you were like me and said, "I forgive so and so," but your actions said otherwise.  We cannot do it alone, we must have Christ's help in order to truly forgive others.  

Christ himself talked about forgiveness.  At the end of Luke 6:37 he says, "Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

What does Forgiveness do?

1. Forgiveness takes away bitterness and anger.

I remember a year after the incident with my boss, I was talking with my friend about him.  I was putting him down and remembering every little thing that he had done to me and how awful he was.  My friend had never seen "sweet" Katrina talk that way.  She looked at me all concerned and then said something that shocked me and gave me so much revelation.  She said, "Trina, just let it go."  It was at that moment I saw my heart.  It was full of bitterness and a verse came into my head,  But the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart (Matthew 15:18).  I realized that I sounded hateful and bitter when I was talking to my friend and that I had a lot of bitterness left in my heart.  I had not forgiven him like I had said, but instead I had replayed over and over in my head the awful things that had happened,  and I allowed bitterness to take root.  I hadn't "let go" as my friend had told me to do, instead I was clinging to all the hurt and anger that I had bottled up inside of me.  I knew I wanted that to change...so I began to pray.  I prayed for myself,  but, more importantly, I prayed for my boss.  It didn't happen overnight, but slowly, chunks of bitterness that surrounded my heart began to give away. Jesus began to replace my bitter heart with His heart of love and forgiveness.  Jesus knew what he was saying when he said,  "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,."  When I prayed, I began to see things through God's eyes that I have never seen before.  I began to see how I played a big part on how I had messed up with my boss.  I began to see how my boss could have been frustrated with me. He may not have handled it the best way possible at the time, but I could see the frustrations from his perspective.  I began to see the pain and hurt in my boss (I later learned that he had some painful personal issues going on in his life.), but I also saw how good my boss was at his job and what a good man he was as well.  Praying for someone you want to hate is hard, but it is worth it.  I had to let it go. 

Ephesians 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

2.  Forgiveness allows to you speak kindly about the person.

During that year that I had allowed bitterness to consume me, I would talk about all the bad things my boss had done.  I constantly slandered his name.  I caused other people to look down at him because I constantly put him down. I tainted his good name. Titus 3:2a says, "To speak evil of no one [...]."  No one deserves to have their name ruined.  I can remember a time when I heard of people talking bad about me.  It hurt so much because what they were saying was not the whole story, but only half of the story.  No one took the time to hear my side.    

When I began to forgive, the things I said about my boss changed dramatically.  I began to share with people what an amazing job he does in his profession.  I would share that he is tough, but he is tough for a reason; it is what makes him successful.  Speaking kindly about him also brought healing to my heart.

Ephesians 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

3.  Forgiveness allows you to show kindness and compassion.

Because God had been working on my heart, I no longer hated my boss but was able to be kind towards him.  I knew I would see him off and on in the future.  Avoiding him in my current profession was impossible, but when I did see him, we were both able to converse easily and kindly towards each other.  No, I was not ready to go out and be his best friend, and I know God wasn't asking me to, but I still wanted to be kind and compassionate towards him.  Later on, I found out that my boss had cancer.  I immediately sent him a "Get Well Soon" card telling him I was praying for him and that I hoped he would feel better soon.  If I had allowed bitterness to reign in my heart, I do not believe I could have done that.  It is easy to show love to people you like, but it is hard to show love to those who have hurt you.  Jesus himself says, "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,"  It is impossible to love your enemies without Christ. However, because He lives inside of me, He changed my heart and gave me His love and compassion.

Ephesians 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

4.  Forgiveness provides freedom.

I have once heard the the following saying, "Forgiveness frees two people, the person who hurts you and yourself."  I do agree that forgiveness does free one person and that is yourself.  However, forgiveness does not necessarily free the other person. The reality is that most of the time people are unaware that they have even hurt you.  If that is the case, they are not in bondage, but you are.  I do not know if my boss knows how much he hurt me, but that does not matter; what matters is that I have received freedom from bitterness, anger, and hurt.  It didn't happen overnight.  Forgiveness is not always a one time thing that once we do it, it automatically brings healing.  Sometimes it can take years for God to change a person's heart and allow allow them to truly forgive fully.  Whenever I felt bitterness take hold of me, I immediately went into prayer and asked Jesus to help take it away and to provide me with His heart of forgiveness.  I am amazed when I think about how hard it is for us to forgive others, and, yet, Jesus forgave the very person we struggle to forgive.  We all experience rejection, hurt, slander, bitterness, and hate from others, but Jesus experienced the exact same thing when He died on the cross. The amazing thing is that He chose to forgive! During his last moments he said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." We have a God of compassion and love, and He has given us freedom by forgiving us.  What a beautiful God we serve!

Allow him to change your heart and replace it with His heart.

Ephesians 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

  

Rejection

Verse of the Week:

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;

    I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. Jeremiah 31:3b

Rejection

To be honest, my freshman year and junior year of high school was one of the hardest times of my life.  I can still remember as a freshman trying to find a place to sit at lunch. Apparently the popular kids sat together in a cluster on our long benched tables. As hard as I tried, I couldn't ever seem to sit with them.  I would try to sit near the center to be close to people, but apparently, anyone I sat with had a friend they wanted to sit with them, so they would ask me to move over so that their friend could sit with them.  Then that person I was sitting with would ask me to scoot over for their friend to sit with.  The process continued until I was at the end of the table, the losers section.  I sat with the class nerd and by myself. The pain of being brushed aside so easily, and the fact that I was considered of no importance, was hard to bear.  I eventually sat alone in a classroom to eat my lunch because no one wanted to sit with me.  Basketball, my lifeline, ended that year when I was benched and did not get to play in any games unless we were winning by a lot or losing by a lot.  My teammates thought I was not talented, and I began to believe the same. I was considered a teachers pet because I tried to make all the right decisions. Apparently, I found out from my peers that you are not supposed to do that. My hearing loss made things worse; kids felt they could treat me like I was dumb because I couldn't hear.  One girl in particular told me I talked like Forest Gump, and when I mispronounced words because I couldn't hear them right, kids would laugh at me.  Life was pathetic, nobody cared about me but my family. Thank goodness I at least had my family; some children in this world do not even have that. Life felt hopeless, and I couldn't see far enough into the future to know that there was a world beyond high school that could be better.  I wanted to die, and thoughts of suicide would fill my mind. No one would miss me except my family.  No one would care if I died, I just might as well be done with it.  I occasionally went to the kitchen by myself and put a knife to my belly wondering if I would ever have the guts to thrust it in me. I was depressed and life seemed bleak.  REJECTION is incredibly powerful.

 However, I knew that someone didn't want me to give up.  There was an unseen battle going on for my life that I wasn't aware of at the time, but can see so clearly now.  I would arrive home from school in pain over the events that had happened that day, and when I would open my Bible, there would be a verse right there personally for me to give me comfort.  Ironically, during the time I considered taking my life, my relationship with God began to bloom into something deep.  He was my comfortor and encourager throughout that year.  "Don't give up, Katrina," He seemed to say, "Fight the good fight.  I am there with you.You are worth something."   So I hanged in there and looked to Him through it all.  My parents, seeing how much I struggled, realized that I needed a change.  My mom who was trying to help me through those thoughts of suicide during our long night talks knew it was time for me to move on.  So we decided that I would go to a new school next year.  A glimmer of hope...maybe I wouldn't be rejected by a new group of kids in a new environment.

We moved right before my Sophomore year, and I was able to start fresh in a brand new school.  However, fear of being rejected consumed me.  I asked my Mom if I could buy new stylish clothes, wear my skirts a little shorter, and look like everyone else around me.  I was so scared that I would make an idiot of myself talking to others because of my hearing loss, that I didn't talk at all.   No matter how hard I tried, my Junior year became the same nightmare as my freshman year.  People ignored me again.  When I tried to sit with my peers at the round table at lunch, I noticed that they all crammed between each other on one half of the table leaving me alone on the other half.  When I had to go on student council bus trips, I sat alone while others crammed into groups of three on bus seats that only seated two.  Life was hard. No one wanted to be around me.  REJECTION is harsh!

Looking back at the situation as an adult, I realized that even though I was being rejected by my peers, I learned that they rejected me so that they would not be rejected by others themselves.  Everyone wanted to feel accepted, and they did it the only way they knew.  Don't hang out with the ones deemed unacceptable.

Everyone has this innermost desire to feel loved and accepted.  A child whose parents ignore her on a daily basis only wants to feel loved and accepted.  A wife who is shunned by her in-laws only wants to fit in with her husband's family.  A man  commits adultery because he felt rejected by his wife.  A divorce couple feels pain because they could not feel loved and accepted in their marriage.  A boy who joins a gang and gets involved in drugs does so to feel like he belongs somewhere.  A woman, who messes up and finds that no one forgives her, feels pain as people shun her for her mistakes. I believe rejection is a huge fear in the lives of people.  While being considered unacceptable in high school was hard to take, it also taught me so much.  I learned that we cannot depend on humans for our happiness.  Even the best of humans will mess up and make us feel unacceptable at times.  The reality is that people will find themselves feeling unacceptable in other people eyes.

People, including myself, do so much to try to make themselves look acceptable to others.  Take facebook, people are always either posting pics of their wonderful lifestyle on facebook with everyone smiling and laughing and looking picture perfect, or sometimes a person  will do the opposite and talk about their pathetic life in hopes of receiving comfort and acceptance from sympathizers.  A family driving to church may have just been arguing and screaming at each other, but when they get out of the car and approach church, they plaster smiles on their faces and give a greeting to appear as the amazing family people think they are.  Some people do a lot of serving and giving in order to gain approval.  Others will try to wear stylish outfits or buy a beautiful home and car to feel accepted by others.  Wives sometimes change how they act in order to please their husbands and vice versa.  I am not saying all of these things are right or wrong, but I am just pointing out that people do things with the hidden motive of wanting acceptance.

I learned a hard lesson in high school....since no one accepted me who did?  I get tears in my eyes when I think of how God has accepted me with wide open arms.

I have said, "I look weird and have a hearing loss."  God says, " You are fearfully and wonderfully made by Me!  You are a masterpiece." (Psalms 139:13-14, Ephesians 2:10)

I have said, "I mess up so much. I sin and hurt others.  No one will forgive me."  God says, "I FORGIVE you, and love you anyway." (1 John 1:9)

I have said, "My life is meaningless.  Why am I even here?  No one cares."  God says, "You life is precious and I have PLANS for you!" (Jeremiah 29:11)

I have said, "I wish that people liked me."  God says, "I LOVE YOU!"  (John 3:16, Romans 5:8)

I have said, "Some people stop loving me."  God says, "I will NEVER stop loving you.  My love is unconditional and knows no bounds." (Romans 8:37-39)

God finds me acceptable!  Because of Jesus, I am now declared righteous and pure in His eyes!

I read something a few weeks back that brought tears to my eyes. It dealt with during the time when God was putting the New Covenant into place.  In the Old Covenant, the Jews were not supposed to associate with unclean people, the Gentiles, but in the New Covenant that changed.  In Acts 10, the apostle Peter, a Jew, was commanded by God to go to a house of Gentiles in which Peter said the following upon his arrival: "He said to them: 'You are well aware that it is against our law for a Jew to associate with a Gentile or visit him.  But God has shown me that I should NOT CALL ANY MAN IMPURE OR UNCLEAN!'"[emphasis mine]  God had said prior to that in verse 15, "Do not call anything impure that God has made CLEAN." [emphasis mine]  I am clean in God's eyes.  I am not dirt, scum of the earth, a reject, or junk.  I got to see how God viewed me and every person on this earth, clean through the blood of Jesus.  Because of Jesus we are acceptable in God's eyes and we are so beautiful to Him!  All we have to do is ask Jesus into our heart and approach God boldly and He will welcome us with open arms.

In God's eyes, I am ACCEPTABLE, and nothing else matters.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
    I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. Jeremiah 31:3b

Things I have learned from being Brayden's Mom

Verse of the Week:

Trust in God; trust also in me.  John 14:1b

Things I have learned from being Brayden's Mom

On September 5, 2012 Brian's and my life changed forever.  We received one of the greatest joys God has ever given us, Brayden.  I get tears in my eyes as I remember that day; he was a treasure worth waiting for. Every single pain that I went through during the 48 hours of hard labor with only 5 hours of sleep was worth it. I would do it again in a split second for Brayden.  My husband rarely cries, but I remember tears slipping down his cheeks as he saw Brayden and told me that this was one of the best days of his life.  That night Brian didn't sleep a wink; instead, he spent most of the night awake staring at Brayden and holding him. I was so overjoyed and loved touching his soft skin and looking into his sweet sleeping face.  We were the most excited couple in the world.

I have learned so much about being a parent this past year to our sweet boy and even before that...

From the beginning, Brayden belonged to God, and knowledge of fact alone has allowed me to trust God to take care of him.

When I was first pregnant with Brayden,  I knew that the child inside my womb was not mine, but God's.  Brayden has always belonged to God.  I believed with all my heart that God had plans for the life growing inside of me. Brayden was never mine; I was just the one God had chosen to take care him.  I knew that there were risks of a miscarriage, of SIDS, of deadly sicknesses, of accidents and so many other things, but I knew that even if God only allowed Brayden to live 9 weeks inside of my womb or 90 years on this earth, He would take care of him.  I knew He had plans for Brayden not only down here on earth but in heaven as well.  At that time, God had given me the privilege and joy of taking care of this new life he was knitting inside of my womb. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. (Ps 139:13) During my pregnancy and this past year, I have praised God for the opportunity to raise and take care of Brayden.  Knowing who Brayden belonged to helped me to learn to trust God in an amazing way. I didn't always trust God; there were times when I let worries invade my mind, but when I remembered who held Brayden in the palm of His hand, it gave me peace knowing Brayden would be taken care of no matter what. After all Jesus says, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me" (John 14:1).  That is what I am learning as a parent, trust.....

1. Trusting God for wisdom daily with Brayden
When Brayden finally started crawling, it introduced a whole new stage of parenthood, the disciplining stage.  I told Brian from the get go, that I didn't want to  baby proof the whole apartment, that we would teach Brayden the areas he could go and not go.  After all, it is good to start setting limits at an early age.  Right?  Let just say that this Mama had no idea what she was getting into.  So when Brayden first started crawling towards the TV and our bird's cage I was delighted to teach him the word, NO.  I would gently say, "That's a no no," and then redirect him to another toy on the floor. I had done a lot of research on this, I knew what I was doing....or did I not?  The first three days were tough; crawling what seemed like a 100 times to both "no" areas was taking its toll on me.  I was getting a workout picking him up and moving him back to his play area while saying "no," but I was determined to persevere. After all, it had only been 3 days, and he was still learning.  A week later, I felt like the "no no's" increase from a 100 times a day to a 1,000 times a day, but I was DETERMINED to show him there were limits.   Two weeks later..."Brian," I said, "This isn't working, I am going to have to change my strategy."  So like a military commander, I changed up my plan; the cunning squirt would eventually surrender and start listening. Never mind that my adversary had a cute face, adorable belly laugh, and innocent look, I wasn't going to be influenced by it.  After all, I used to teach kids and knew how to discipline.  I had a stubborn streak, and I knew I would persevere; however, I forgot one tiny detail: the contender was related to me and was equally if not doubly more stubborn than his Mama. 

The Mastermind: Don't be deceive by that cute smile and innocent look....He touched a "No No" right when I snapped the pic!  

 Hence the war between Mama and baby began.....three weeks later, he still went to his "no" spots what now seemed like a million times a day....a month later still a million times a day.  I used my weapons every battle I fought: the pack n play for time outs, my hands for a bop on the rear, and my firm steady voice which, at the beginning had sounded so patient, was now sounding more frantic when I said  "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tactics designed to distract my adversary included his light up book, blocks, toy train, and Ernie doll. Still the battle raged....mom vs son.  Who would win? Eventually one day we had a break through! After saying no, Brayden stopped, looked at me, and went back to playing with his toys!  YESSSSSS!!!  I felt like shouting out with joy;  I was so proud of him. Eventually a million times a day felt like 1000 time and 1000 times a day felt like 100. Nearly 5 months later, he did not go to those "no no" spots too often; however, he is now going to new "no no" spots like the kitchen and the dirty air vent.  However, Sergeant Mom is determined to stick with it, and  I must say that I am proud of Brayden. He has improved so much since those first days. Here is the point of the story.  I started off thinking I had everything under control. However, as the battles got worse, I grew hopeless and afraid.  I learned that I couldn't do it by myself,  that I needed God's strength and wisdom on a daily basis to stay consistent and to make smart decisions.   I learned that I have to take it one day at a time, and seek God through it all.  The challenges in the discipline department are only beginning, but I am once again trusting that God will give me the wisdom and knowledge to make the best decisions possible. Some days I feel clueless and other days I have that aw ha moment, but I know that even if I mess up, I am trusting that God can clean up my messes and make it work together for good.   

2.  Praying for Brayden helps me to remember to trust God to take care of him
I remember one time Brian and I were giving Brayden a bath. In this particular instance, Brian somehow didn't have Brayden secure in his hands.  The next thing I heard was a small little bop!... poor Brayden's head hit the wall of the tub.  Brayden probably cried for 2 seconds and then was his happy joyful self again...no bruise on his head either.  However, since we were first time parents, Brian and I wanted to make sure that Brayden was ok.  So I looked up on "Dr. Google" to see  if it was ok for Brayden to hit his head.  After all, Dr. Google has helped me in the past by diagnosing me with cancer, heart attack, appendicitis, and every single thing that I have never had.  So after researching, Dr. Google informed me that it could be a concussion which might need hospital care and that we should monitor our baby over the next 24 hours to make sure he was ok.   So Brian and I found ourselves checking Brayden's eyes every 30 minutes to make sure they were not dilated, observing his behavior carefully to make sure he wasn't acting fussy, making sure he wasn't extremely tired, and many other symptoms of a concussion.  Unfortunately for us, Brayden just happened to have the symptoms of fussiness and extreme tiredness. (We sorta forgot to take into consideration that it was bedtime and he is always fussy and tired by then.)  Brian and I were scared half out of our wits that Brayden might have a concussion and were debating on whether we should call the doctor or not.  Finally, I decided to pray about it and for Brayden.  After I prayed, once again I was reminded that God had Brayden in the palm of his hand, and that we needed to relax and trust in Him.  The next day as I kept watching Brayden to make sure there were no signs of a concussion, I was constantly having to pray and rededicate Brayden to God.  Later, I realized how ridiculous we were to respond to such a small bump.  Brayden has probably received over a hundred bumps and bruises on his head since he started crawling/walking and the number is still increasing.  Any experienced parent knows it is impossible to keep your baby from hitting his/her head as they grow older.  The purpose of the story is to show that seeking God's help and direction through prayer is a must!  Prayer helps us seek the one who is in charge. Prayer reminds us to trust.  Prayer teaches us to look at situations through God's eyes.  Prayer keeps us calm.  More importantly prayer makes us rely on God.  ...pray continually, 1Thessalonians 5:17

3.  Trusting that God will provide for all of Brayden's needs
I am constantly amazed at God's provision since before and after Brayden was born.  It is amazing how he provides for both big and small things.  I remember in a couple of instances, I was thinking, "I wish Brayden had some more animal books."  The very next day a friend showed up with two animal books.  Another time I was thinking that I wanted to get Brayden an animal farm.  Soon after, a friend emailed me and asked me if I wanted her animal farm that her son had grown out of.  I never told anyone but my husband about these ideas, yet, God chose to provide for these small things anyway.  I am amazed how God cares for both the large and tiny details of Brayden's life. God has constantly provided for Brayden's needs.  But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Philipians 4:19)

4.  Worry is the opposite of Trust
One thing I have battled as a parent is worrying.  I learned a long time ago that worry is the opposite of trust. I have wasted to much time worrying about things that never happen.  As Jesus says, You cannot add any time to your life by worrying about it. (Matthew 6:27). One particular instance, I remember taking worrying to the extreme.  I was so excited to take Brayden to his routine doctor checkup to see how he was doing.  I couldn't wait to see how much he had grown and how much he weighed.  However, in this particular doctor appointment, the doctor dropped the bomb and told me that Brayden's head was growing to fast. He wasn't to concerned about it, but he still wanted to monitor his head for the next few months to be safe.  No parent likes to hear that there is something wrong with their kid.  I went home depressed like my world had fallen apart. What if there really was cancer or fluid pressure in his brain?  What if Brayden's life was in danger?  What if he needed special care?  What if? What if?  For the next few months as the doctor monitored his head, I had to learn to just trust in God and know that Brayden was once again in His hands.  I couldn't waste my time analyzing and worrying about it.  While there were instances where I wasted time worrying, there were also instances where I remembered to give the situation and Brayden to God.  What a comfort to know that someone had it all under control.  We have this illusion that we can control things in our lives and so we worry as if it will help the situation, but most of the time we can't.  However, knowing God is in control, allowed me to step back and once again rest in is love and peace. 

As a mom, I am learning to trust in Jesus.  I am learning that even though Brian and I love Brayden deeply, there is someone far greater and more powerful who loves him more, and I need to give Brayden over to Him. Brayden never belonged to me; he belongs to God.  Mine and Brian's job is to take care of Brayden, teach him about Jesus, and to love him with Christ's love.  However, we are not to do those tasks alone; Brian and I must depend on God and trust in Christ to help us each day.  

Belongs to GOD!

Happy 1st Birthday, my dear sweet Brayden.  We are excited to see what your Heavenly Father has in store for you.  May you learn to trust in Him as Mama and Dada are learning to do right now.  We love you! Love, Mama and Dada


***There will be no blog entry next weeks since I will be celebrating Brayden's first birthday!  Look for another blog entry in two more weeks. 

Give to Get?

Verse of the Week:

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ." (Ephesians 1:3)

Give to Get?

Do I have to give anything to receive God's blessings?  Growing up it was emphasized to me to tithe 10% of my income and then God would bless me in my finances.  I was always bothered by this; not by the giving part, but by the blessing part.  I felt that the motive was wrong: give to get something, in this case, God's blessings.  However, I tithed willingly because I wanted to serve my sweet Lord and give Him so much for all that He had ALREADY given to me.   I would never want to downplay the experiences of some people who lived, shared, and experienced blessings from God from tithing, but the idea of tithing in order to receive blessings bothered me.  

Lets look at a few of the verses that teachers insist deal with tithing and being blessed.
When Abraham defeated the 4 kings with his men, he took the spoils of war and gave 10% of his loot to the high priest Melchizedek. Lets read the verses in Genesis 14:17-20:

After Abram returned from defeating Kedorlaomer and the kings allied with him, the king of Sodom came out to meet him in the Valley of Shaveh (that is, the King’s Valley).

Then Melchizedek king of Salem brought out bread and wine. He was priest of God Most High,  and he blessed Abram, saying,

“Blessed be Abram by God Most High,
    Creator of heaven and earth. And praise be to God Most High,    who delivered your enemies into your hand.”

Then Abram gave him a tenth of everything.

Lets talk about how if we give God a tenth of our salary, He will bless us. Notice in Abraham's story, he was ALREADY BLESSED by God.  Melchizedek blessed Abraham FIRST. In return, Abraham gave 10% back to God through the High Priest Melchizedek.  God didn't bless him AFTER he gave a tenth of everything, He had already given Abraham a blessing.  

Let's look at another verse that people use to back up the idea of tithing, and then look and see if Jacob got blessings from doing it.  Genesis 28:20-22

Then Jacob made a vow, saying, “If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father’s household, then the Lord will be my God and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God’s house, and of all that you give me I will give you a tenth.”   Notice the underlined portion of the verse, once again, Jacob was not giving in order to receive blessings from God.  God gave to Jacob first.  Jacob said, that ALL THAT YOU GIVE ME, I will give you a tenth.  God had already blessed him, and he in return would give. 

Last major verse that people would say about being blessed when you tithe is one that I heard all the time growing up. God is talking to the Jews after they had been disobedient.  Malachi 3:8-11:

    

“Will a mere mortal rob God? Yet you rob me.

“But you ask, ‘How are we robbing you?’

“In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse—your whole nation—because you are robbing me.  Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.  I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not drop their fruit before it is ripe,” says the Lord Almighty.

First off, this verse is taken from the OLD COVENANT of the law.  In the old covenant, God made an agreement with the Israelites that if they would follow his laws, he would bless them, if they did not follow the law, he would curse them.    That is why you see Him challenging the Jews to tithe as He had commanded in the Old Covenant to prove that He would do his part of the bargain and bless them for it.  However, we are no longer under the old covenant and the curses/blessings that God placed upon the Israelites. Galatians 3:13 says, "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a pole.”  We are no longer under the old covenant of the law.  Christ took that away.  So when God curses the Jews for not tithing, it is based on the old covenant.  God wanted to bless the Israelites and said so, "Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it."  Unfortunately the Jews broke the tithing law and God had to curse them.

What does the new covenant in the New Testament say about tithing?  Sadly enough, there is NOT ONE verse on tithing in the New Testament.

There is one verse in the New Testament that people use to back up the concept that if you tithe you will be blessed.  It comes from the words of Jesus himself: "So that your giving may be in secret.  Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."  In this verse, it sounds like God rewards us if we give, but notice what Christ is emphasizing here, giving in SECRET.  We need to read the verses in the right context.  Apparently men in the synagogues were giving in public so that they could be praised by men for their giving.  Matthew 6:2 says, " So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full."  The people in the synagogues motives were wrong. Jesus wants us to have the right motives in giving.  He does not want us to give so that we can win the approval of people, but to give out of the love and joy in our hearts, that in itself is the reward.  

Since there are no verses on tithing in the New Testament, lets look at verses on giving.   

In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words of the Lord Jesus himself said: It is more blessed to give than to receive. Acts 20:35b

The people of the early church would give their possessions to the needy. Acts 2:45 "Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need."

Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. (2 Corinthians 9:7)  God wants us to give joyfully and cheerfully, to whomever he leads us to give to, not reluctantly or under compulsion!  He loves a cheerful giver.  People who are under the burden of debt and fail to tithe 10% feel like guilt is heaped upon them, and they expect God to curse them as it says he will under the Old Covenant. However,  we are not under the Old Covenant but under  the New Covenant. Here is the point I am trying to make.  It is not about tithing to receive blessings, it is about giving freely in your hearts because of all that God has blessed you with through Christ Jesus. Here is the point I want to make: God has ALREADY BLESSED us! Every spiritual blessing has been given to us already.  "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ." (Ephesians 1:3)  Lets give all that we want to give because of the love and blessings God has already poured out to us through Christ Jesus.  

Let me point out something.  When Brian and I got married, I have received so much love and support from my husband.  Because he loves me so much, I can't help but want to love, give and serve him in return.  It is the same way with God.  We love Him because He first loved us.  We give because He has given us so much. Lets give not to get something, but because we have already been blessed with so much in Christ.  

***I received a lot of my thoughts from the book, Grace, the Forbidden Gospel, by Andre van der Merwe.  I am not saying I have the correct answer on this topic, but I felt the need to share my thoughts.  This blog entry may spark discussions on tithing but I hope it does not create arguments among others on the idea of tithing. The main point of this entry is not to debate tithing but to emphasize God's loving character and how He loves us so much that blesses us anyway, tithing or not.

However, there will be some people who will want to discuss tithing in more detail.  To share my understanding of tithing, here is some more information on some ideas I have on this topic.  Tithing is under the Old Covenant not the New.  It was created based on Old Testament verses that I shared above.  Am I saying we shouldn't tithe?  I believe that if we truly love the Lord, we will gladly give.  However, we are not obligated under the New Covenant to give 10% but we give what we have decided in our hearts to give as it says in 2 Corinthians 9:7 whether it be 10%, 50%, or 5%.  God loves a cheerful giver.  Perhaps you have a different interpretation; I respect that, but this is what I have concluded thus far.

Seeing the World through the Eyes of an 11 Month Old

Verse of the Week:

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17)  

Seeing the World through the Eyes of an 11 Month Old

I wish I could go back and be my son's age and remember what it was like to see the world for the first time.  I can only get a glimpse of what our 11 month old sweetie sees. I have been taking Brayden out to the park lately and have been letting him explore the world on foot. By the look on his face, he has been in heaven.  

He smiles and giggles as he wobbles across the green grass, stopping at times to stoop down and pat the grass to see how it feels.  He smiles big whenever I show him the trees and pats the tree in excitement feeling the rough bark and excitedly grabs the leaf to feel it crunch inside of his little hands.  He stares up at the flag up in the air in awww as he hears it flapping in the wind.  He gets a kick out of the ride he takes on the swing and gives a big belly laugh as he moves back and forth in the air.  He smiles in delight at the dogs that walk by and tries to go after them but trips over his legs because he cannot keep up.  Our son loves the out doors.  

But more importantly he loves all of the new things that he is experiencing in life. I remember when he sat up for the first time by himself at 5 months.  He looked around amazed with huge eyes and was so proud of himself like he was saying, "Look what I am doing!"  When he first started crawling, he couldn't get enough of exploring around every little thing was meant to be touched and put inside his mouth.  Every waking moment he has is spent in exploring and investigating everything!  He cannot get enough of his story time with Daddy in the evenings.  As a Mom, I just stop whatever I am doing to just watch his face as he stares in fascination at all the things he sees in books. At a restaurant, he is fascinated with the different foods to taste, trying water through a straw, feeling the table and hitting the hard surface with his hands to make noise, and ripping a napkin to pieces to see what it feels like.  The whole world is opening up to him, and he is loving every moment.   I wish that as adults we would spend our time in fascination of the life we live around us.  Every good and perfect gift is from God and that includes all the little things we take for granted.  If only we had the eyes of an 11 month old!

The Great Artist made so many things for our enjoyment.  How many times do I rush to and from a store only to ignore the beautiful flowers all around me or the changing colors of the fall leaves.  How many times do I take for granted the feel of running water pouring down my hands or a cool breeze on a hot day.  How many times do I take for granted the fact that I have been blessed with legs to walk and run with, as Brayden is just now discovering.  How many times do I take for granted laughter and the joy it brings in my life.  Life is beautiful and was made by a BEAUTIFUL ARTIST.  Every good thing in this world is from Him.  His love is wrapped in all of the amazing beauty that He has created.  

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17)  Everything good thing we take for granted comes from our Heavenly Father.  Pause and take the time today to look at this world with amazement.  Delight in what God has made and does. Take the time to look at the world through the eyes of an 11 month old.  How exciting it must be!

Church...What is it really?

Verse of the Week:

1 Corinthians 6:19  "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own."

Church...What is it really?

Growing up, I learned so much about the Lord through my parents.  If anyone had an impact on teaching me about Jesus, it was my Mom and Dad.  They displayed their love for God through their actions on a daily basis.  I remember our evening Bible studies before bedtime as a child.  Dad would read from our picture Bible, and I remember looking forward to seeing the colorful pictures and reading about Abraham, David, Moses, Ruth, Esther, Elijah, Jesus, and Paul.  I remember waking up Saturday mornings and walking into my parent's bedroom seeing them engrossed in a Bible study together.  I remember our prayers we said at meal times and outside of mealtimes.  I remember daily talks we had about our Savior.  I knew who was number one in my parent's lives, Jesus.  When I was around 10-11 years old, I remember that we stopped going to church.  People were extremely critical towards my parents for making that choice.  I remember noticing it more as I grew older.  People would judge my family thinking that we were wrong not to go to church without ever knowing why we stopped.  I remember a pastor in particular who shunned my own mother because she didn't take me to church.  Shame on people for being so quick to judge and not truly loving with Christ's love.  

You see, my siblings and I all have a hearing loss, making it hard to listen in large group settings such as a church.  Try reading a pastor's lips from 20 feet away, and you will get what I mean.  Try keeping up with a group conversation in Sunday school without the use of your ears, and you will quickly find it downright impossible.  Try listening hard all week at school and then going to church and listening some more.  It is exhausting.  People have never realized how hard my siblings and I have had to work at listening.  Therefore, my parents made a difficult decision to start having church at home.  Every week we would watch Christian pastors on TV such as Adrian Rogers and Charles Stanley.  Their broadcasts were closed captioned.  For those of you that do not know what closed captioning is, the words that a person is saying on TV appear at the bottom of the screen (just think about today's subtitles on movies).  I grew more in that setting than I ever did at church as a child.  I would take notes as we watched the broadcasts, and then my family and I would sit and discuss what we had watched afterwards.  Sometimes the discussions would last for hours and were one of the highlights of my week.  I grew in the Lord and learned to love Him deeply during that time of my life.

I learned long ago, that Christianity isn't about a church building, but about a personal relationship with Christ Jesus.  The purpose of this blog entry is to explain what church really is.  This is NOT to put down the church in any way.  I myself as an adult attend church and find it beneficial in my walk with Christ.  However, I have heard following said by people:

• The church is God's house.
• To show your kids how important God is, you MUST go to church every Sunday.
• Don't neglect fellowship with other Christians, you need to have a church in order to do so.
• It is impossible to love Jesus and not love the Church. 

Do I agree or disagree with the above statements?  Well it depends....

First off, I cannot talk about the above statements without giving some background of the word "church" and how churches actually first came about.  The word church in the Bible NEVER referred to a building, temple, or house of God, rather the New Testament verses that use the word Church comes from the word Ekklesia (mentioned 114 times in the New Testament). Ekklesia always refers to an assembly of people, never a building. As my pastor has put it, a church is a body of believers.  In early Christianity, Christians met in each other's homes, not in an official building.  This went on for 300 plus years after Christ's resurrection.  When the Roman emperor, Constantine came to power, he wanted to promote Christianity and did so by constructing the building of several churches.  While Constantine was known as the first Christian emperor, he still clung to his pagan beliefs and used some of his pagan ideas while constructing the church.  He wanted the Christians to have their own sacred building just like the Jews and pagans had their own temples.  He named his churches after saints just as pagans named their temples after their gods.  He declared Sunday to be a day of rest for all religions to honor his Sun god, Mithras.  By the way, the Jew's Sabbath was on Saturday, never on Sunday.  

There were many more pagan ideas that were implemented into the church during the 4th and 5th centuries. Most if not many ideas for the church are man made, not from the Bible.  (To find more information about this topic, refer to the book Pagan Christianity by Frank Viola and George Barna.)  The point I am trying to make, is that the church was never initially a building but rather turned into such a place as history has shown.

Whether I agree or disagree with the above statements soley depends on the definition of "church."  Is the church a building or body of believers? By understanding that the church is a body of believers, it changes my view of church.
So lets discuss the above statements I put down:

1. The church is God's house.
Perhaps you have heard the familiar phrase on Sunday, "Welcome to the house of God!" or "God's spirit is moving in this church today!"  Does God truly dwell in a church building?  Is the church His home?  Lets read 1 Corinthians 6:19

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own."

God's spirit resides inside of you.  You are his home.  When you became a Christian and recieved Jesus into your heart, God's spirit came to live inside of you.  If you refer to a Church as a body of believers, then the above statement is true, God's spirit resides in the body of believers.  If you believe that God resides in a building, then I would have to disagree with you. Is it possible for God's spirit to be in a church building?  Only if a body of believers are present.

2. To show your kids how important God is, you must go to church every Sunday.
If you have read my story above, you will quickly find out that my family did not go to church every Sunday, but I still learned how important Jesus is.  He is EVERYTHING to me. What does the Bible say about bringing your children to church...lets look at some scripture.

Proverbs 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Notice that none of the scriptures say anything about taking a child to church each Sunday, but rather it talks about training a child on the ways of God.  Can church be a way to train your child, ABSOLUTELY! But are there other alternatives to teaching your child about Jesus? YES, which I hope you saw from my own history of learning about Christ. You can take your child to church building every Sunday, but if you are not showing them and teaching them about God's love during the week, then are they truly being trained up in the way they should go?  Actions speak louder than the words on the pulpit.  Are your actions reflecting those of Christ?

3. Don't neglect fellowship with other Christians, you need to have a church in order to do so.

Many of us have heard of this verse from Hebrews 10:

25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

I agree, we shouldn't neglect meeting and fellowshiping with other Christians. Remember, the definition of church determines whether I agree with the above statement or not. If it means a gathering of believers, then I agree completely.  However, is the church building the only way to do it?  No. 

Another thought, do we truly fellowship with Christians on Sunday?  We go into the service and maybe introduce ourselves to a few newcomers that are visiting the church; we wave and say the classic, "Hi, how are you." and then we sit down and listen to the pastor preach the rest of the service.  Are we really meeting and discussing the word of God with other Christians?  Can church be a source or way to find other Christian friends and fellowship with them outside of church? Absolutely!   But is it the only way? No.  I never felt like I neglected meeting with Christians growing up because my whole family were Christians, and we met and discussed the word of God on more days than just Sunday.  My family was my church or gathering of believers.

4. It is impossible to love Jesus and not love the Church.
If the church is being referred to as a body of believers, then I agree with this statement.  If a person is saying they love Jesus but hate their fellow brother/sister in Christ then how can the love of Christ truly be in them.  1 John 4:20 says:

If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.


It is impossible to love Jesus and not love his followers; however, there are people that have problems with the church building, traditions, and the structure that churches run by, but not the believers themselves.  But there are also people that love the church traditions and expect others to love the same and are critical if they do not.  Loving your fellow believers is more important than the building and its traditions.

Church is a gathering of believers!

I wrote this blog, to help give people a better understanding towards others who love the Lord but do not attend church in a building.  I myself now attend church in a building and find it beneficial, but I do not judge those who do not attend a church building themselves. I used to be one of them.  While a church building can be a beautiful resource in growing in our relationship with God, we should be careful in making it a hard core biblical doctrine, because the Bible says NOTHING about going to a building every Sunday to worship. If anything, the church building was built upon pagan ideas and is not Biblically based as oppose to popular belief.   The church is every single believer in Christ that meets together, whether in a home, coffee shop, or a church building.  The body of believers is not just contained in one building, but believers are everywhere.  Let's not judge our fellow believers, but rather be quick to love, support, and help each other with our walk in Christ whether it is in our homes, at Walmart, at a party, during work, or in a church building.  The church is a gathering of people.