Monday, June 27, 2016

My Family is NOT Perfect

Here is my family...


I would love to say that we are the perfect family sorta like pictured here.....

Maybe we have our moments and look picture perfect, but the reality is that we more and likely resemble this....






Don't forget dad too.....



One evening during supper, Brian was sitting at the table tired and stressed and ready to vent on what happened at work. I looked brain dead from being so tired from my daily childcare and household duties. Our three year old, Brayden, was busily shouting out "Pee, pee, and Poo, poo." while laughing his head off. And our one year old, Carson, was crying and pulling a fit because supper wasn't in front of him.  

During the course of the meal, Brian tried to vent 10 different times to his exhausted wife about work, but was interrupted with either Brayden playing with food, Carson throwing food on the floor,  Brayden getting another kick at saying "pee pee and poo poo,"  Carson throwing a fit, and Brayden getting out of his chair without permission.  

The result:  I never got to hear what had stressed Brian out at work. Brayden was finally removed from the table, and his remaining food was reserved for breakfast for not behaving. And....Carson had to go to timeout for throwing his food.  

Far from perfect.....maybe you can relate?

Yet if we were to take pics of our family at dinner time and email it to family or put it on facebook for friends to see, we would always show this....


Or this.....


Do we have good moments in our family. YES...I wouldn't trade my family for the world.  I do have a selfless husband who tries to put me first.  I do have a tenderhearted 3 year old who loves more deeply than I have ever seen any human love.  I do have a happy, laughing one year old who loves to cuddle.....however, that is only part of the picture.

We are not perfect.....

Brian and I have many times responded selfishly towards each other, and dare I say it... we do argue at times.   And while Brayden can love deeply, he can also be the exact opposite and throw the "laying on the ground kicking and screaming" kind of tantrums.  And Carson, has recently decided he likes to hit when he is angry.

Why is it so important for people in society to know that my family isn't perfect? Simple...

Nobody can obtain perfection in this world. 

Yet, we still see people spending so much of their time trying to make their lives and family look perfect to others, and when others see that perfect family, they despair knowing that they cannot ever reach the standard that they see.

Mothers try to make their children look perfectly behaved, and other mothers who see these perfectly behaved children despair...

Husbands try to make their jobs look perfect, and other husbands despair when they see they they will never have that dream job....

Families try to show how perfect their vacations are, and other families despair when they see how their vacations never measure up to what they see in those photos...

Spouses try to show the world how amazing and perfect their honey is, and other spouses despair thinking they will never have a spouse like the one they see...

Here is the point I want to make....

Are you ready for this?  Read carefully...






People don't need to see how perfect your family is, they need to see how perfect our Savior is.

While Christians DO need to show how Christ has changed them through the way their lives are led (faith without works is dead as said in James 2:17), they should NEVER feel that they should have to show a perfect life. Perfectionism can only be seen through Jesus, that is why we NEED Him.  

Read this next part carefully,

Ready?



When people try to strive for perfectionism, they are saying that they DO NOT need a Savior but that they can do life on earth on their OWN and can obtain eternity on their OWN.  

The world constantly says that we can't earn our way to heaven on our own, but the apostle Paul says differently in Philipians 3.  In the first part of the chapter in Philipians 3, Paul was criticizing people who were putting confidence in their "flesh" to obtain righteousness (or perfectionism). He even went on to say that if anyone could put confidence in themselves (or flesh), it would be him, and he goes on to brag about the amazing things he has done, but then he concludes with this.

What is more, I consider everything [that he had done to obtain righteousness] a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law,but that which is through faith in[a] Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. (Italics mine)

Righteousness (or perfectionsim) can only be obtained through Jesus.  He is the only one that meets that standard.

Apart from Jesus, we are completely wicked. Paul even states how "There is no one righteous, not even one," in Romans 3:10.  Even when humans perform acts of good deeds and kindness apart from Christ, it is always with a selfish motive.  That is why we need Jesus!

Humans need Jesus every second of the day....for He is our righteousness.  I always loved this song by Matt Maher:

Lord I need you,
oh, I need you
Every HOUR I need you
My one defense,
my righteousness
Oh God, how I need you

Apart from Jesus we can do no good.  Even, Jesus himself says that, I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:5)

We can do nothing good apart from Christ.  We can do good things, but if Christ isn't our motive, then it is a sinful motive.

So why does this matter?  

We need to stop trying to show people our so called perfect lives and show them our need for a perfect Savior.

I remember one time when I was so frustrated...I wanted to be an example to others on what the perfect Christian life was, but I was messing up.  I told a friend this,  "I can't seem to respond appropriately to people, my son keeps throwing fits, and I keep getting angry."  She then said something life changing...she said this,

You ready?  Read carefully....





"Katrina, when you mess up, it is just another opportunity to point to people your need for Jesus."

You see, my family isn't perfect because we need Jesus.  Apart from our Savior, we are broken, flawed, and messed up.  I don't want people thinking my family is perfect, for if they believe we are perfect, then the need for Christ no longer exists.

You see, Christ died on the cross to pay a debt we couldn't pay.  He died for all of our flaws and mess ups.  We no longer have to achieve perfectionism to enter heaven, Christ did that for us.  All we have to do is make Him Lord of our lives.

Does my family have some perfect moments...sure.  But I want to make one last point. 

Ready?  Read carefully...




If anything GOOD comes from us, it is because of Christ, and ONLY Him.

You see, Christ gets the glory either way...in the good or bad.

My family isn't perfect, but that is ok...we are dependent on our perfect Savior, not ourselves. And for that I am thankful! 

I am proud to say my family isn't perfect so that I can point people to our perfect Savior...

By the way, His name is Jesus.








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