My Journey as a Single Woman

Verse of the Week:

 "[It is] better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man." Psalms 118:8

My Journey as a Single Woman

Brian and I had the opportunity a few weeks ago to attend a wedding.  It was a beautiful  Arkansas outdoor wedding by a pond painted with evergreens, oaks, and greens of all colors.  What a special time it was to see two people in love dedicating themselves to each other for the rest of their lives in the presence of God. It is always so special to see couples join together and become one.  Seeing the wedding, however, brought back memories of the days when I was single and wondered if I would ever get married. 

 I remembered that I was just dying to meet a man and have him "complete me" as I heard so many couples say in the TV show, The Wedding Story.  If I could only have a man, then I would truly be content.  

If only I could have someone complete me, then I would be content

However, as I continued on that journey of looking for "the one," I learned a few things.  First, if I wasn't content now, what made me think that I would be content when I married?  Many couples go through so many relationships and come out bitterly disappointed.  They keep looking for that person to make them happy, but I learned something as a single woman.  Humans cannot make other people happy and content, only God can.  Psalms 118:8 says, "[It is] better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man." For awhile, I thought a man would make me happy and would make my life complete, until one night.... I remember sitting under the Texas stars in the backyard of my parent's home praying for a man, when God said something to me in the depths of my soul..."Am I not enough for you?"  I broke down into tears and said, "Yes, Lord, you are enough!"  Jesus was the one that completed me, not a spouse. From then I started to focus on God and his love and delighting in all that he did and was doing for me and serving Him with all my heart.  What a beautiful time for me.

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalms 37:4

Even though I was delighting in the Lord, I still had that desire for a man, but I was no longer obsessed about finding one to complete me.  I found that by delighting in God, His desires became my desires!   I was content in Christ and was enjoying being single.

But then, I began to go to the other extremes. I decided that I didn't need a man, that a man would hurt my relationship with God. Paul had talked about how remaining single had its advantages. 

32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

(1 Corinthians 7:32-35)

I loved my relationship with God and didn't want my attention divided. I thought I needed to sacrifice my dreams of marriage, because a man could only hurt my relationship with Christ. I thought that my desire to be married was wrong and revealed lack of contentment on my part. I would soon realize that God loves me so much and had beautiful plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11).  I learned that my desire to have a spouse wasn't wrong, but that God places desires in us.  I wrote this poem for mine and Brian's first year anniversary.

Union 

2010

This poem is dedicated to the love of my life, Brian, who constantly challenges me in my walk with Christ. Thank you, Lord, for Brian.

One night in tears I prayed to you.

   Lord, don't send a man to me.

I'm afraid I will forget my Savior

  And the man will change my behavior

Instead of focusing on you with all my heart

  My eyes will follow an idol, a work of art

I would begin to depend on man for strength

  And hold you at arm's length

So please, Lord, don't send a man to me

   I always want to belong to you.

Like a child I clung to my Father's hand

   To be separated, I couldn't stand

Then in a gentle whisper my Lord said to me

   Child, don't you know the plans I have for you?

I will provide for you every need.

  I am going to give you a man indeed!

Not one who will turn you from your Lord.

  But one who will make sure I am adored.

He will draw you closer to me

   And through him, I will reveal my love for you.

You see my child, there will be no separation from me

   But a union between all of us three.

I realized that God loves me so much and would never leave me nor forsake me.  I thought that a man would separate me from Him,  but I soon realized that NOTHING can separate me from God's love.  I also learned that He can provide me with a man who will love me with Christ's love.  I learned that a man after God's own heart does indeed exist.

For all you singles out there, be patient.  Don't try to take things into your own hands,  you will only mess it up.  Instead, trust the Creator of the world, the God who loves you so much to bring that man/woman into your life.  Meanwhile, delight in God and enjoy his love and faithfulness.  He is the one that completes us! Even after you are married, Jesus is our source of contentment.  No human on earth can complete or give us that contentment like Jesus!